Advice from some older members.

[SELF-MASTERY]

The first thing you need to do is learn how to make no appolgies for who you are, irregardless of who you are. This is a simple idea, but in itself a real challenge for some people. It can take some time. Stick it out. Once you achieve that, you will have the confidence to build yourself steadily into a consistantly better person. You'll advance in career, social life and health every day.

That is advice that I am coming to terms with.....

For the original poster, stop being a lil *****.....

You sound a little like me, I work from 3-11pm 5 days a week, and when I get home I jump one the internet until 4 and 5 in the morning. My social life is currently in hell, the job keeps me from seeing friends who all work during the day, I can't go out on the weekend. Its is hell. I cant change my work schedule, but I can choose not to stay up so late, I can wake up earlier in the morning and take a pre-breakfast walk, I can force myself to eat healthy.

As for interacting with others, you have to put your self out there, and put yourself in uncomfortable situations. I think the advice on talking to clerks is good, but you also need to talk to ordinary ppl. In the streets if someone ask for directions you can create a conversation on where they are going. You just need balls and a little self efficacy. By a pda and use it to keep a social diary (something im starting to do), make daily goes; I will chat up a stranger, start a conversation with some that makes me uncomfortable, not dwell on negative ****.....

Any way.....IM JUST TALKIN' TO YA, JUST TALKIN THROUGH YA..........

 

[Metalixia]

Where abouts in Scotland do you live? I live about 40 miles from Aberdeen.

 

[A-Unit]

Re:

That which feels good ISN'T necessarily good.

Does it feel good to roll out of bed early and try to get ahead rather than sleep in?

Of course it feels good!

But nobody worth anything ever slept in.

That was just a mere example.

It feels good to eat nasty food and watch your favorite shows. But all you're feeding is your EGO, which requires coaxing that it's ok with small morsels of food, expenditures, and so forth. It's the "little kid" part of you fighting against the big kid that you are.

To me, buying things isn't the answer, because the high wears off.

HABITS are the answer.
Form habits that lead to where you want to go. And don't break them.

*Drinking with friends every friday night is a habit, and so is assuming that because you're young or old, you must "party." Wrong, it's a habit, that leads to poverty, debt, fighting, a dead liver, alcoholism, and so forth.

*Not reading is a habit. It's habit that keeps you in poverty while the greatest minds surge ahead. Think of all the free thought that SS.com provides? Consider books written by some of the best minds in the world. It's like having a free interview with them. Why pass that up?

*Not working out is a habit, too.

It's quite endless as I demonstrate it, but you get the picture.

FIRST, find your passion. Put aside the good feelings and figure out what drives you. What turns you on. If nothing yet, I would suggest getting some job/career that gets you by, while challenges you. Maybe you'll find something within that path you love that leads somewhere else.

I'm the type of person that like to ponder and reflect, but the thing is, we can think and wonder forever, so if we're not moving, there's no way we can discover what road we should go down. And as much as we don't like it, time goes by quickly. Eventually you wake up and realizing the world around you evolved.

Something I do is take the MOST outlandish view of some super hero I'd like to be, paint the picture and go for it. For instance...

In a purely fanastic sense, I desire to bang an incredibly hot pornstar looking girl for the rest of my life. She'll bear 3 kids of mine, and she won't have to work. She won't be feminist brainwashed either. We'll travel often and money will be of no concern. I'll be perfectly fit for my height, weight, age, and sports interests. I'll drive the car I want, when I want, where I want. I have a sports room all lined, with a giant plasma. I own real estate and a stock portfolio and engage in joint ventures with strategic partners.

Now, that's not 100% true, BUT, if we don't have a lofty enough vision of the future, why bother to achieve and strive? Sure the pure act of achievement is wonderful, BUT even the golfer or pro football player has a grand vision to hit wa off in the distance.

Being passionate about life comes down to...


-Finding a driving force toward some lofty vision you uphold
-Taking pleasure in the small things
-Trying to extract a learning lesson from things RATHER than saying "i failed,"
-being involved in life rather than viewing it as a science experiment that must be analyzed and made perfect

I believe all the OUTSIDE activities are nice, but it doesn't cure the INSIDE turmoil we experience.

You can have TONS of friends, but be in their presence while your mind is elsewhere. You can be volunteering in projects and if it's not WHERE you want to be or you don't have values/beliefs that support you at that stage of the game, you won't appreciate it.


I believe it takes real life skills and tools to make it through life. It also takes the proper PERCEPTION of the brain to view life. Perception is analogous to a pair of glasses. If your glasses are old, or broken or they don't fit, they won't do the job. You'll have car accidents, you'll miss people as you walk by them, and generally miss the beauty of life. Proper perspective on life grants a healthy view on situations.



A-Unit