Advice From a Graduatued Don Juan

[SetzerSky]

I have matured and changed in so many ways in the last year and a half that looking back it's hard to believe such a dramatic transition could occur. I can finally refer to myself as a true Don Juan. And what is the most important lesson I have learned you may ask? BE YOURSELF.

Yes, yes we've all heard it before. But what I really mean is follow your gut. 99% of us always try to be what others want us to be. Does this girl want me to ask her out? Does she like me? Is she ready for me to kiss her? Your gut/inner voice or whatever you want to call it is shouting "Hell yes!" to all these questions. Its the natural thing to do.

The vast majority of guys are trying to appeal and shape themselves to the whims and desires of women. This starts with typical AFC behavior. Then they find this site and they all enter the phase where they read and soak up the bible information. But then they have simply realized what woman actually do want. And as such they change their actions to be a jerk/challenge/****y and funny. Sure this works a lot better than AFC behavior, but do you see the problem? Still they're trying to appeal to the deires of woman. Not be themselves and do what they want.

This is the ultimate goal we all set out to achieve. Being completly true to oneself in all social situations. When I be myself I am naturally emulating all the qualities of a Don Juan: I'm confident, I'm not a **** needlessly but if something pisses me off I don't hold it in. I always stick up for myself and am the most loyal person you'll ever meet when it comes to my true friends and my family. I don't try to be a challenge--I am. I'm busy and don't have time to waste with immature girls or people I don't like. I speak my mind. But when I do meet a sweet girl who's genuinely interested in me I treat her right. I don't spoil her or smother her with attention or gifts. I am the man who's there for her, she trusts me, feels protected around me and while in my arms. I don't talk about myself unless she specifically asks. Why? Simply because I am not insecure, I don't need to talk about myself. I'd much rather listen to her talk and learn about her life than try and brag myself up. I talk to her in feelings and emotions. Warm showers, the sound and smell of the ocean. It stirs a pleasant feeling in both of us. I make her feel amazing. I am the man, I take charge in situations naturally and guide the relationship. When I want to kiss, hug or kino a girl I do. Sometimes its still hard. But it's getting easier. But the point is I don't hesitate. I follow what my natural male instinct tells me and its not guided me wrong.

Think of how many kisses you've missed, relationships that never came to fruition. Why? Because you hesitated, because you questioned what she wanted instead of what you wanted.

He who hesitates is lost.

 

[Holland]

Nice post. To bad some people interpret the be yourself thing the wrong way a lot of times.

 

[Anomalous]

Originally posted by SetzerSky


He who hesitates is lost.

It's true, YOU'LL NEVER know what could have happend between the two of you, if you never make a move. HEY, AT LEAST YOU WONT HAVE ANY REGRETS!!!

 

[Viper]

Finally, good advice for a total loser such as myself, better than most of the stuff I've been getting in my own threads.

 

[SetzerSky]

I just wanted to clarify and add a bit to this. As we all know, whether or not we are attracted to someone is not a concious choice we make.

Woman have a preset model of what they are attracted to in a man. The model is basically a set of characteristics they look for in their ideal mate. As an AFC we fufill little to none of these. But as we learn principles of the Dj we learn to emulate some of these and therefore are more desireable to woman. But when we can truly become and act in accordance to what we want--acting as a man man--we naturally project these ideal charactaristics to woman. The vast majority woman want essentially the same things in a man, sure there are differences but usually minor. Therefore simply by following our gut and acting without fear of others allows us to instantly become desireable to most women.

Now this isn't just something most people can go out and do, it's just not that easy. It's a process of learning and letting the lessons you've learned in life seep down and finally change your underlying beliefs.

One thing you should work on as you grow is the way you talk to girls. As we know girls deal in emotions and feelings much more than men. Therefore talk in images. The salty smell in the air and the crashing waves of the ocean. The beautiful orange sun setting over the mountains. I just thought of those on the spot but you get the point. They invoke a feeling of beauty in you. Even moreso for girls. Do the same with food, describe it's taste ect. Just talk and ask about the girl and fluff talk. Ask her what she ate for dinner and transfer to what she would have ate for dinner if she could have any meal in the world. Then describe yours in detail. It makes conversations fun. Talk to girls like this and you will make them feel amazing. They will love talking to and being with you.

The conversation style of above doesnt come naturally to every one, but for me I've always talked very descriptively like that to my family and friends. When talking to girls, however, I held it back and talked about boring day to day things. Big mistake. Trust me it's huge. That along with just being the assertive, confident, fun MAN I am means I have five gorgous girls who can't get enough of me. I have very high standards as well so when i say gorgous I mean it one is actually a model. So good luck on the journey guys! It takes a lot of self reflection and jsut getting out there, but if you persist you'll reach your destination.