Advice for terminal One-itus sufferer

[lidless]

Hi Guys

I am suffering from a bad case of one-itus that I am beginning to realise is seriously messing with my self-esteem. The problem is that the person I am hung-up on see's themselves as a close friend and would be really upset if I just used the " cut and run" approach. She's made it clear there's no chance of anything other than friendship. But gets annoyed if I hang out with other girls.

Once or twice I've tried to distance myself, but I am always asked what's wrong. I even explained that I just needed some distance to sort out my thoughts, but that was treated with a reply that I should get out and go chase "my other girls". If I mention other girls, she instantly mentions another guy and tries to play on it ... "eg well, in that case I will go out with so and so ..etc. "

I am new to this DJ stuff and I get the feeling I am doing stuff all wrong , but I do know this isn't great ! What's the best "extraction plan" ?

 

[Kal0051]

just cut and run, don't even respond if she contacts you. By the sound of it she's a attention *****.

 

[Desert Fox]

just cut and run, don't even respond if she contacts you. By the sound of it she's a attention *****.

This


cut her off 100%. no facebook, no texting, no phone, no e-mail, no myspace, or whatever gay sh*t you happen to have her online

then forget about her forever. she needs to earn your attention from now on, and there are only 3 ways to do it:

1) *******
2) sex
3) blojob and sex

 

[CaptainJ]

And start gaming **** loads of other girls.

 

[PimpOfTheSouth]

Agreed.

 

[Warrior74]

You've gotten the best advice your gonna get. Now lets see what sort of man you are and what you do with it. Understand this...we will clown you if you come back with the following lame responses guys always post...

1. I really like her as a person, we have a genuine friendship (bullsh1t)
2. I think I can turn it around into something (bullsh1t)
3. I don't want to hurt her (well she doesn't want to fvck you)


Just cut all contact..she's just dangling you on a string to keep your attention on her without having to give you anything.

 

[KontrollerX]

"the person I am hung-up on see's themselves as a close friend and would be really upset if I just used the " cut and run" approach. She's made it clear there's no chance of anything other than friendship. But gets annoyed if I hang out with other girls."

Tough sh!t for her.

She wants you in her life she needs to play ball by jumping on your balls already.

Preferably when she's totally naked.

You're a new member here and everyone has given you great advice.

So other than what I just added to the discussion I'll say that what we all learn as DJ's is to go after what we want in life and be honest with ourselves about it.

Which means if we'd like to be fvcking a girl or have a particular girl as our girlfriend or whatever we don't fvck around and play friends with that chick.

We go after her for a fvck or to become our girlfriend.

Period.

If she is not down for that then we NEXT the b!tch and move on.

Typically this fvcks up the head trip playing b!tche's game plan as mean spirited chicks and related sickos like to use nice guys for their ego boost and attention needs play acting as that man's friend and manipulating him to think he might have a chance with her at some point in the future. She dangles the carrot of intimacy for the nice guy basically and he falls for it and is used.

You are here now and you have our vast DJ knowledge at your disposal.

You will never be used by a woman again unless you allow it.

So cut this girl off.

She obviously doesn't care about your feelings so why give a fvck about her's?

And like others have said she sounds like a Histrionic attention wh0re anyway which means she's not capable of true love or friendship and is an utter waste of any man's time.

Anyway to close out I want to clear something up about what I said with this line here and I'll quote myself so as to avoid confusing anyone that might be reading this as a lurker...

"She obviously doesn't care about your feelings so why give a fvck about her's?"

A lot of AFC posters take issue when we say things like this and make a case that a girl actually really could care about your feelings and actually genuinely want to be your friend.

Our counter argument to this is of course there are exceptions to every rule but that still doesn't change the fact that the AFC as a man doesn't actually want to be the girl's friend, he wants to be something more to her such as a boyfriend or fvck buddy so even on the rare occasion a girl actually does want to be your friend...so what?

Its not what you actually want as a man out of that girl and to entertain such a friendship is not you being noble towards the girl but dishonest to yourself and you betray yourself to engage in such a friendship. You also torture yourself to engage in such a friendship as what do friends do but talk about their relationships to their friends? And no guy not even an AFC genuinely wants to hear a girl he's interested in talk about other guys she's excited by and interested in.

Well anyway dude just thought I'd give you a lengthy reply like this since you are new to give you some extra info as you are in the process of unplugging from the matrix at the moment and learning knowledge much of society does not want you to have as the powerful like as little competition as possible so they shame the persuit of power like this.

Knowledge is power as the saying goes.

 

[Samedi]

You could stay in there and be friends, but as Kontroller says, why would you want to hear her talk about some other guy she's been fvcking? I agreed to friendship at first with my oneitis, due to my feelings of not wanting to lose her cause i thought she was special. I was talking to her one time on msn, and she basically told me she didnt like the fact that her bf wanted to do her up the ass, and that he wanted to pretend he was doing a guy instead!

I was dating this chick for 2 months, and i told her to be honest and let me know if she was going to date another guy in advance....i'd be cool with that. However she chose to sit on another guy's co<k while dating me. She didn't tell me she had a bf until i told her i was going on a date with a girl. Even then her bf pretended to be her online and so i found out she had lied and led me on. She couldn't outright tell me herself until i basically ripped her a new aszhole and give it to her straight. "i didn't want to hurt your feelings" was her response, "i care for you, i just wanted to keep you as a friend".

I didn't want to hear the fact that she had sex with another man, let alone what he makes her do or what he says etc. I was just there for her to spill her emotional crap about how she doesnt like her bf bla bla bla.

The result of this? I got angry. Reason? I was mad for allowing myself to lower my standards in the 1st place to accept this girl, then to see her as special and different, and because i didn't man up and bail out when i knew it was game over. I stayed the course, and the one thing i didn't want to happen, her sleeping with another man while "dating" me, happened. I don't know why, but that just bothers me. I can accept a girl saying "hey listen, i'm gonna sit on another man's c0ck, bye." Rather than the sly branch swinging, and you don't find out until the "bf" (funny given that she SAID she wasn't looking for one) is the dude to inform you he's the one busting his nut over her.

Grim facts are the things that cut deep and hurt most. Yet you must accept em and learn.

My oneitis showed jealously when i spoke of the girl i was dating, this was in Feburary 09. I stopped texting by phone at this point. (she would bs all the time saying she had no credit. I was too dumb to register that her interest level had dropped massively by that point). We maintained contact via msn only, and one day i decided to not talk to her. She wondered why i wasn't talking and would say she missed me (don't fall for this bs line either, if the girl misses you, then she will either try and make plans to see you, if only as a friend, or she would accept a time to hang out with you etc).

I thought i had a handle on my oneitis, and that it would be safe to resume talking without my feelings being involved. 15 days later i spoke to her again. My oneitis flared up, and even though it was on friendly terms we spoke, i asked her once how she was doing..........no reply from her. For a month. She would come online, but ignored me. I chose not to speak again, and let time heal me. The last contact i got from her was a comment on my msn pic saying "nice pic u look like a model". That was a good enough place to end it. A few days later i check my phone to see her bf's mobile had rang me. I never answered. Best to cut ALL contact.

So from my own experience, say to yourself "Fvck it! Why should one girl who is basically using me, get my free time, my compliments, my attention? What has she done for me that has made me happy of late? Nothing."