Hey bro, I wrote an article on my website a while back about dealing with breakups. I've C&P'd it for you. Enjoy homie, hope you get to feeling better soon.
How do Deal with Breakups
I get it. Breakups suck. You feel terrible. You want to just lay in the dark and watch movies. Then you check Facebook on your phone and you see them doing great. She’s already dating!?!? He just look soooo happy out there boating with his friends. Meanwhile your friends can’t cheer you up, you start turning to alcohol or other vices, and you just feel like you’re trapped in a web that’s spiraling downhill fast. So what do you do? How do you get over it? Lucky for you…..
This is my formula for getting you over a breakup. I PROMISE that if you just stick to the plan, you will be a completely new person in 2 months. Joy will return to your life. By the time you start really getting some momentum built up, you probably won’t even remember why you liked your ex in the first place. So here we go:
1) DELETE HER FROM SOCIAL MEDIA/TEXTING/PHONE CALLS. This is a must-do. Actually, everything on this list is a must-do, but this is the most important step. Look, you don’t need to see how happy your ex is pretending to be. You don’t need to talk to them. It’s an open wound psychologically right now. And just like a wound to the body, it’s best to just “rip off the Band-Aid.”
This is the first step. I know it hurts to delete someone from your life, but you HAVE to do it. Don’t read any more until you take this vital first step.
2) Don't worry about dating just yet. You should still have goals of meeting new people (step 4), and using online dating services under that pretext will be worth the effort. But the last thing you need is a rebound relationship. Those can get very messy, very quickly. You haven’t had time to heal, so you transfer intense emotions onto someone who hasn’t earned your affection yet. You can imagine how ugly a rebound relationship can get.
At the same time, just talking to new people won’t hurt. Who knows who you may meet. I would suggest setting up an online dating profile and having “I just want friendship” typed out throughout your profile.
3) Get a new environment. You are sad and associating all this stuff to them and your memories. Some easy ideas are re-arrange your furniture, put some new art up on your walls. or get a new fashion accessory. If it’s a particularly rough breakup, do something a little more drastic. If you’re a girl, dye your hair. If you’re a guy, you can shave your head bald.
What this does is gives you a “rebirth” for your emotions and your journey to enjoying your single-dom. It also gives your brain something else to focus on instead of heartache. It sounds ridiculous and requires a leap of faith, but it’s a valuable step and gives you some memories that you will never forget.
4) Expand your social circle. Get on Craigslist and find some random stuff to do to fill your time. Meetup groups, salsa dancing classes, karate, drawing, whatever. Just stay busy and meeting new people. Not new people to date, but just make new friends. Laugh. Make new first impressions. Have new conversations. Have new experiences. What I teach my clients is to try something you’ve always wanted to do, but never had the guts to sign up.
There are various sports team all around the world that you can sign up for. Play soccer, basketball, roller derby, ultimate frisbee, or join a martial arts gym. This gets you moving, gets your brain firing on new cylinders you haven’t used since grade school, introduces you to new social circles, and increases your confidence with each new skill you learn.
5) Focus on improving yourself! Start easy. We’re going to build momentum towards getting you over this. So think of 1-2 things you can do right now to improve your life. It can be as easy as going to pay that parking ticket you’ve been putting off to finally buying that domain you’ve been putting off. Just focus on 2 things. Get them done TODAY.
Once you see how good progress feels, you’ll begin to become addicted to it!
