advice for respect/interest

[Noremac]

Hello all, new poster here.

So to jump right in, I have been dating this girl for over a year and a half now. We are in the middle of university, been dating since the start. She is the type of girl I can see myself with for a long while, I had my fun before her but have been thinking of settling down since been getting serious about school.

Here comes my issue however. Every so often she goes through phases of little interest, and tends to throw in disrespectful remarks, which i know if i ever said she would not appriciate (such as new haircut/ clothing).

Currently we are in a fight cuz when i was at her house she said something disrespectful, then bailed on coming over to my house. So instead of staying at her house which she wanted me to I left. She called later however i gave her one word answers and little responses which in the end she got the hint and we stopped talking.

Question is: Am i doing the right thing and what should i continue doing?

 

[GotED?]

First of all, welcome a-board ( no pun intended)

This relationship stinks of:

* She is immature (not a suprise at her age)
* She is drama driven
* Sounds like a b!tch on super octane hormone
* She is showing you low interest (you are probably too available)
* You have already lost or are losing your frame when she disrespected you without consequences from you.
* Who the phuck dates someone for 1.5 year?? Are you two exclusive yet? LOL....
* You sound like you don't have your game correctly lined up and has joined the AFC club.

You NEED options, experience other wonderful girls who WILL LIKE YOU AND YOU LIKE HER (this was in another thread and a good point made by Willard) - NEXT her and go NC if you really want to experience happiness. Why hang on a thread with a girl who you can't not feel deep connection and intimacy/happiness with, without her challenging your frame and disrespecting your manhood (perhaps you need to find your DJ-ness somewhere out of the dark AFC abyss).

You really won't be able to restablish your frame in this relationship without WALKING away for at least a short while to make her realize you can not be manipulated/disrespected. There is NO guarantee that she will come chasing you back, that is why we recommend when you go NC, you do it for yourself and let her go in your mind and not as a game to get her back. If she does come back, then you will have to make a decision on what she is offering you.

Good luck.

Exodus

 

[Noremac]

Thanks for your quick response and advice!

Alot of what you said is true. I do not believe she is a *****, I just do not like the disrespecting, if you consider that *****y then you could look at it that way. I do not typically take it if she does something disrespectful, i just am curious if i am handeling everything ok. Like i said this situation goes almost in cycles, a month is great, then a week i get annoyed and stuff like this happens.

Like I said I am focused in school, i believe if i went out searching for girls i wouldnt have a problem however that is not what im looking for at the time. Should i continue having NC with her even when she calls again? I ask for this advice now since next weekend is my birthday and im lost as how to have NC through that time.

 

[skinnyguy]

One time I was dating a girl who tried to change the way I dress and really disrespected me. Let's just say it did not last very long. If she really liked you she wouldn't do that shiz

I agree with midnight

 

[Noremac]

Thanks guys, that does make alot of sence.

I do believe she is sh!t testing me. My plan is to do what you say, go cold for a bit and focus on my friends. I do also have alot of friends that are females she doesnt know well. I keep our friend groups seperate, she has met my friends only a handfull of times (minus my close guy friends). I will focus on just having a good time and see where it plays out.

However i do know she will text or call me either tonight or in the morning. Should i respond as i have been with short answers or ignore totally?

 

[GotED?]

As a man you must learn to make choices in life - sometimes they can be hard choices.

We can give you advices from 100 different directions for free, but at the end of the day it is your life and you alone has to live with the responsibility of your choices and decisions.

Being a man means being confident about your decisions and try not to regret afterwards and have resolve.

Only you know what is right for you of not, including this girl we are talking about.

Be well

Exodus

 

[Noremac]

I will keep that in mind, thanks all for your help and the good advice

 

[VladPatton]

How you didn't loose interest in her because of these "cycles" is beyond me. You give her what you get from her. Don't worry about pissing her off. So be it. These things don't get better, they'll get worse. Don't let it phase you and if she threatens to walk, stand up, open the door for her, and tell her to go. Insist she goes. You'll be balls deep inside of her in 24 hrs or you'll be a free man.