***Advice/Feedback Appreciated

[Naughty Ninja]

*This story contains the use of MySpace, Facebook, Texting, Phone calls, and meeting and winding up liking someone met for the first time from Florida. (As I typed the first part of this already I’m already feeling/sounding like a chump. Good God I cringe as I type and re-read this.. Lol. But at least I tried my best and have learned with this experience and need to spin them plates! Hopefully some of you can learn from it as well.)


My Experience:

I’d met an attractive, supposedly “nice and sweet”, charming girl on My Space. I sent her a silly email that she found amusing and me as being ****y. We got to emailing which eventually ended in me getting her number. She was a nice talkative person (I never gave out too much info on me or my life to not show my cards when we spoke online and in person)

I went down south a few months later to visit my cousin and friends this past month and we made plans to meet and go out to a restaurant alone and do something after. (I never went or made plans for the date when I was down there as she was about an hour and a half from my cousin’s house and I was having fun!)

A few days in as her friend is single as well, my friend (who met her friend through myself and her) and myself agreed to meet them both at this Festival in Miami like the third day I was there. (They supposedly wanted to meet but we wound up not meeting them as her and her friend didn’t answer and “lost signal” and there “were too many people” after we’d left as she texted me. (Personally I don’t like texting but so many girls do it and she rarely answered when I would call like a man should do (which wasn’t often, like once a week and kept the texting nonsense to a minimum) that I was thinking that’s strike one. (I work in the communications field and know all the B.S. when it comes to cell phone excuses. “Too many people”? The crowd was huge but I’m not sure what that has to do with not getting signal.. but it’s a good one!) I also had a good feeling they were probably with other guys and didn’t want to meet. I confirmed this by pictures on her Facebook after I arrived back home due to still talking to her at the time. (There’s a good reason employer’s check those things! You can tell A LOT about people and their insecurities, attention seeking, etc. from them.)

I let the first no meeting go with the thought of “forget that” and went about enjoying my time there with no contact to her. (She had texted me a few times over the week still wanting to meet.)

I wasn’t planning on meeting her at all, but my friend is pretty persistent and wanted to hang out with them. I felt like it was already a waste of my time. But it was the end of my stay there a week later so I caved and went. We ended up meeting them at this nightclub they were at and when I got there they were with a group of girls and guys (mostly couples) .She was in “the clubs bathroom” and her friends (who listens to what girls friends say anyway) said Oh “G” can’t wait to meet you she’ll be right here. She showed up a few minutes later and gave me a big hug which was cool as she seemed pretty warm and happy to meet me. She and I chatted a bit and danced with her and I doing a lot of Kino. She started dancing with her guy “friends” to which I didn’t care I let her do her thing and thought she’s trying to make me jealous. It didn’t work….I stood off to the side and as I did another girl started talking to me and told me her friend wanted to dance with me. (the friend was errr..not attractive lol.) I kept talking and noticed her friends and her looking at me to which she immediately walked over to me and grabbed my hand and started dancing with me and kissed me twice. ( My mistake was kissing her back. I should’ve made her kiss my cheek as I confused her as “liking” me rather than for what it was, which was her just being jealous and seeing me as getting the upper hand and losing her comfort and attention for the night )

Now for the good part: We all ended up outside with her feeling “sick” and being in the bathroom according to her friends and them “checking” on her. She came back after a bit, sat down next to me, and got mad at them for lying to me explaining in front of all of us that she met a guy from her old highschool she “used” to like and was just inside talking to him and catching up. Uh huh. (I still didn’t care at the time as I thought it is what it is, and she’s free to talk to whomever she feels like, but at least she came out with it even without me asking at all.)

At the end of the night she was holding me and resting her head on my chest and I was Kinoing her arms, back, and booty, for awhile but no kissing. The thing I felt at the time was she was shy to kiss me in front of her friends but in hind sight it was most likely holding me for attention and LOW IL as if she really wanted to she WOULD have regardless. We all ended up leaving with her holding my hand a lot too and them driving us to our car to follow them to go out for something to eat. She also sat on my lap for the ride (her friend, her, and another couple) as they really wanted us to go. (maybe more because her friend was into mine than she was into me. Hey I’m trying to be honest with myself!) After that we gave a hug goodbye (with me at the time thinking she was shy in front of her friends) and said we’ll talk soon and we left. Con't in next post)

 

[Naughty Ninja]

Forward to a few weeks later and she’s now as of yesterday “In a relationship” per Facebook.

Lesson: I did learn from this experience and the more I read as I type and remember the more I feel like an idiot. Lol

1.Thinking a person from another state liked me back after one meeting and being an AFC. Jesus…she’s in ANOTHER state!
2.Seeing her Facebook “news feed “ when I got back, being posted twice daily about her “love interest” the guy she’s from an online psychic?! I’m thinking this girl’s a moron! You need advice from a psychic?! It’s true what I read on sosuave forums. “Girls are into psychics because they don’t like to use their own brains”. This is one of the many reasons I BARELY if ever use, type, post, put pictures on or add people on Facebook. I’ve deleted a lot who were old friends that added me from high school who I don’t talk to anymore. To me I could care less about posting the same everyday boring, mundane details of my life for my “friends” amusement, and my proverbial virtual 15 minutes of fame. (The only reason I still have myspace Is I DJ’d for awhile and retired from it a few years ago but still talk to many DJ’s around the world and keep updated on them.) I don’t use that Twitter tweeting either. My friend and to an extent as pathetic as it seems says Facebook is like the new form of “social proof”. To which I don’t need that virtual crap.
3.The texting nonsense. They were usually short and sweet but I did come off chumpish with a few replies that I sent which I can post if any of you care to read (that I can remember to post)…
4.Will I call her again? NO. Will I text her again? NO. Will I reply to her if she happens to ever call or text? NO. (I’ll leave the unanswered in her mind) Will I delete her from my “friends” on Facebook/Myspace? YES. But eventually. Why? Because I feel if I do it right away she will feel I’m doing it because I’m “jealous” or mad as that news crap came up yesterday. I think I should back away slowly from that to avoid seeming to have ever cared in the first place if she happens to check on it. (You know these girls crave their attention an most likely will check regardless)
5.Her Grandmother had passed a few days after I got back and I asked for her address and sent her a sympathy card which I thought was nice. (No thank you or confirmation of receiving it.) I do hardly ever send cards unless it’s to family and or if it was a LT’s girlfriend’s or parents, birthday at the time. Guess I thought it was thoughtful at the time. Oh well. That Is another of the reasons I will NOT reply to anything if ever, she sends me.
6.My friend says I should just leave her on in case I’m down there in the future and she wants to ever meet up (and possibly fool around) which I’m not so sure of as I’m pretty sure I’ll stay a “friend” (hey I see it like it most likely is). Though it could always end up with me giving her the old pump and dump with no contact after? Do I want/ need revenge? No. But to possibly have an extra plate I’m not sure of. Definitely NO contact so I’ll probably delete her by the end of the month anyway. Kindof unsure on that as of this post. What do you guys think?

Well that’s it. I feel much better from writing it down and hopefully learning a lesson! I’d appreciate any comments and or analysis of my experience. Good or bad. Lol. I’d appreciate a reply from I get it, Pook or any of the other guys who post GOLDEN advice on here. Really been reading, copying and pasting the advice I read on here lately! It’s amazing how good it works with new girls I’m talking too.

Let me have it. I need that tough sosuave love!

***Interesting note though: She has an album titled “MIA with good friends and meeting new ones.” on her Facebook. (True it’s under “friends”) but there is three pictures of us together with her holding me close and her head leaning against me from the night we met. There are really no other pictures of her with guys on her profile mostly family and girlfriends (I on the other hand haven’t posted or had taken any or posted anything of us for the record.)

Anyone have any thoughts on that? Possible she did like me and or is it just a jealousy attention thing to get her new man? So I’m kind of not sure if I should just delete her off anyway or keep her as a possible future plate in Florida since I go down there a lot. Thanks for reading.

 

[jophil28]

She has low IL in you if any. She posted the photos of you and her together to enhance her social value, and to bloat her ego, not to make a statement about her personal feelings for you.
She sees you as just another chump who is willing to play the part of an extra in her narcissistic 'Look at Me' movie about herself.

The overwhelming blunder in your story is one which most men make ,and that is this - You tried to make yourself MORE significant to a woman to increase your chances. Inspite of what you wrote above , you tried to join into her life rather than only give your time to a woman who shows interest in your's.
You adopted a mindset in which you looked for, and sought, signs of interest from her. And you persisted even when there were clear signals of low interest, flaky behavior, game playing and regular girly attention seeking.

You were essentially on an audition( of your own design) to win a part in her movie instead of only being around women who were eager to be in YOUR movie.

 

[Kailex]

jophil nailed it, but I wanted to add something onto a few things you said.

4.Will I call her again? NO. Will I text her again? NO. Will I reply to her if she happens to ever call or text? NO. (I’ll leave the unanswered in her mind) Will I delete her from my “friends” on Facebook/Myspace? YES. But eventually. Why? Because I feel if I do it right away she will feel I’m doing it because I’m “jealous” or mad as that news crap came up yesterday. I think I should back away slowly from that to avoid seeming to have ever cared in the first place if she happens to check on it. (You know these girls crave their attention an most likely will check regardless)

Just delete it now. Who cares what she thinks or how she feels about it?
This is about YOU, NOT about HER. How do you back away slowly from this? You don't. Just delete it. You said it yourself, you have no intentions of seeing her again, so why prolong the deleting?

Just do it now and get it over with.

5.Her Grandmother had passed a few days after I got back and I asked for her address and sent her a sympathy card which I thought was nice. (No thank you or confirmation of receiving it.) I do hardly ever send cards unless it’s to family and or if it was a LT’s girlfriend’s or parents, birthday at the time. Guess I thought it was thoughtful at the time. Oh well. That Is another of the reasons I will NOT reply to anything if ever, she sends me.

Nice touch, maybe... necessary, absolutely not.

6.My friend says I should just leave her on in case I’m down there in the future and she wants to ever meet up (and possibly fool around) which I’m not so sure of as I’m pretty sure I’ll stay a “friend” (hey I see it like it most likely is). Though it could always end up with me giving her the old pump and dump with no contact after? Do I want/ need revenge? No. But to possibly have an extra plate I’m not sure of. Definitely NO contact so I’ll probably delete her by the end of the month anyway. Kindof unsure on that as of this post. What do you guys think?

She's in a different state. Tell your friend to forget it. Just delete her now.
Forget this girl.
Go out with girls that live closer and have LESS drama than this one.

Well that’s it. I feel much better from writing it down and hopefully learning a lesson! I’d appreciate any comments and or analysis of my experience. Good or bad. Lol. I’d appreciate a reply from I get it, Pook or any of the other guys who post GOLDEN advice on here. Really been reading, copying and pasting the advice I read on here lately! It’s amazing how good it works with new girls I’m talking too.

Let me have it. I need that tough sosuave love!

***Interesting note though: She has an album titled “MIA with good friends and meeting new ones.” on her Facebook. (True it’s under “friends”) but there is three pictures of us together with her holding me close and her head leaning against me from the night we met. There are really no other pictures of her with guys on her profile mostly family and girlfriends (I on the other hand haven’t posted or had taken any or posted anything of us for the record.)

Anyone have any thoughts on that? Possible she did like me and or is it just a jealousy attention thing to get her new man? So I’m kind of not sure if I should just delete her off anyway or keep her as a possible future plate in Florida since I go down there a lot. Thanks for reading.

[/QUOTE]

What she posts on her Facebook means nothing. Absolutely nothing.
It means just as much as when I post up pictures of me standing next to good looking ladies solely for the purpose of social proof.

Don't read too much into it.
At least you've recognized the situation... just move on from it.

 

[Joe Stud]

Geez, these guys with their 5 paragraph responses, on a spring saturday. No life?

Stop psychoanalyzing & get to the point already!

 

[Naughty Ninja]

Jophil you are EXACTLY right my friend. It’s posters like you, I get it, Pook, Rollo T, and a few others I forgot to mention that really got me into following certain advice I read on here. Thanks!

Damn…It took me till I woke up the next morning to realize the meaning in your words. At first when I read your response about auditioning for a part in her life I didn’t get it. I was confused thinking I was going to Florida anyway, wasn’t too eager to meet her when I first got there (I was having fun with family and friends), and towards the end just going to finally meet her because my friend was persistent about it and she herself seemed upset that I never took the time to go out with her alone in the first place.


***side note(I had told her I didn’t have a car to use to see her in the first place…’I told her this at the end of the week when I was ready to leave’… but I actually did have one and just didn’t feel like driving 80 or so miles to see someone and it could turn out to be a flop……*she did tell me I should’ve told her and she would’ve came and picked me up…but that’s neither here nor there. )

I was the one who came to where SHE lived.

I was the one finally coming to meet HER.

I was the new one in HER group that night.

I was the one who sent HER a sympathy card for her grandmother.


As of yesterday I've deleted her off my Facebook, and Myspace profile's.




I’m not looking to “create interest” or delete her in spite. Just backing out the best possible way I can think of.

I know of a few things that can or will happen to knock her down a bit. (She really is a nice person, though it’s obvious I was interested in being part of her life more than she was in being a part of mine. )


1. She has three pictures up of us together on her Facebook album I realize now not because of feelings for me, but only for an ego stroke and ‘look at me’ narcissistic factor. (She honestly doesn’t have a lot of friends on her page so it doesn’t come off as AW) That fact the pictures are on there though will blow up in her face eventually. Maybe not bad, but it will knock her ego down a bit. (One has her friend and my friend in as well. As far I know they still keep in touch. So since they’re in HER albums, once I delete myself, she’ll notice from comments removed that I’m gone. She’ll either have to wind up removing the pictures, the entire album, or change the albums name as it references meeting me and my friend in the title. It’ll especially knock her down if her new relationship goes sour and never hears from me again. (This is ANOTHER reason I never put nonsense on my page or could care less if people see who I meet or what I’ve done as it serves no purpose other than to stroke your ego, and could knock it down as well.)
2. She’ll possibly start checking her friends and my friends to see if I’m on their pages anymore to email me “in an innocent manner” ie: Hey, Where’ve you been?
3. She’ll text my phone. (Her number's already gone as of last week)
4. I’m not waiting for her to contact me or going to respond to anything. I just needed to get all this off my chest and write it out. Thanks for reading guys. Hope others in similar situations will remember this, put their ego aside and see their situations for what they really are. My story is nowhere near the things others have went through on here.


I really thought I’d met someone special who gave me all the “IOI’s” and liked me for me.