Advantages of traditional dating

[vorbis]

Time and again on here I see people saying that taking a girl out for a few drinks or getting a bite to eat are afc and unimaginative. Activity dates such as minigolf and bowling are considered far better. Personally, unless you have a really outgoing personality, its hard to make activity dates stick (in m experience)

For example, I set up a casual date with a girl for tomorrow night. Its just getting a bite to eat in a pub. I've been out with her before so I know that the bill will be split 50 / 50. This girl flaked on us going bowling after initially sounding into it. Had I suggested bowling or something similar for tomorrow, I suspect that she would have flaked on it.

I've had other instances where bringing up activity dates have been shot down. Invariably I end up doing something standard with girls. So if like me (AFC to rAFC), you'll have better results on more traditional style dates (coffee, drink, grub, gig, comedy club) . Both you and her will feel comfortable and you can wow her with your conversational skills.

 

[Jariel]

Do whatever works best for you and the girl.

With some girls I can sit and just talk over a coffee or in a bar, build rapport and have good fun and they've left feeling an amazing connection and had a great time.

Others are a bit more nervous and create a tense situation, in which case an action date helps distract from that and break the ice.

Talking of ice, when I began dating my girlfriend, I invited her ice skating and she turned me down. She explained it was because she was scared of hurting herself.

 

[vorbis]

I agree Jariel, if what someone is doing is working for them, then of course they shouldn't change it. Its more for people where their game is not going well.

Your ice skating example is exactly what I had in mind, suggesting something outside of a chick's comfort level takes a lot more persuasion.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

So is the message that if you don't have a really outgoing personality and plan an activity date the chances are high that a woman will flake out in meeting you?

 

[DarkChaos]

I still don't see how you're supposed to just start touching the person without it being all weird.

 

[vorbis]

kino is a separate topic. Theres plenty on that in the forum. Its gotta be gradual. I'm saying that you gotta be persuasive to pull off an activity date.

Example
Me: Lets go biking
Her: Sure, that sounds fun

Her talking with her friend
Friend: So where are you going to go with that guy?
Her: We're going biking
Friend: He's taking you biking??
Her: Thats ok isn't it?

The downside of suggesting something different is that you will meet more resistence to it. You can of course get past it. However if like myself you're still learning, you probably don't have enough game to overcome this resistance.