admitting feelings

[vazeh]

is it ok to tell a girl you have feelings for her.

you're not necessarily revealing how much you like her, but just mentioning you're interested. is that ok?

and to put this in context, a girl told me she has feelings for me and i admit i did as well. i didnt say it first, if that means anything

 

[Keeper]

Hmm... depends on which stage of courtship you are with her.

AFC's admit their feelings before they even make an approach - and I think that's the biggest no-no.

But I guess if you've had a few dates, got to know her, and are prepared to take things one step further... then I see nothing wrong with telling her you like her. Then building towards loving her.

Ahhh.. this one time, at AFC camp, I called a girl I had a crush on in school, and told her I loved her and she was 'the one' before I even got a chance to fully explain to her how to pronounce my name. Haha..

Just take it easy. And read this post: http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=56076

 

[JonJack]

How you express it and how the girl interprets it is the important things to look at here.

The thing with the so-called DJ way is that as a DJ, you're interested in girls but you're not just interested in one until you've really gotten to know her. It's okay to let a girl know that you're interested, just don't make it look like you're interested in her because you think she's special when you don't even really know this girl that well.

The problem with most guys jumping the gun when expressing themselves seriously to a girl is that they do it when they don't have a solid reason to like the girl exclusively. If you're not 'really' interested, then don't say it. If you're interested because you're lonely and desperate and she seems to be the only thing available, then don't say it. If you're interested because she's fun, you enjoy your time with her, the two of you enjoy talking with each other and you know her well enough, then it's okay to say it.

 

[ethnomethodologist]

"one time, at AFC camp" That's my catch phrase now, I love it. :crackup: STOLEN!

If she doesn't have the same feelings, it's better for you if you still want to keep her around not to scare her too much. It's better to show your feelings than it is to let her escape if your not lying to yourself.

AFC's do this, DJ's do that, I am my own man, **** y'all, I tell girls I like them. Than I make them tell me back or to stop wasting my time. Ganji games/gunwitch, I hate being made the fool, no matter how nice the person thinks they are being.

Never dated, never had to wait that long, I prefer sitting at a table and working on it right there. There are more than a billion girls on this planet, some need my help, some need none at all, some are never going to learn. It is my duty to not waste my own time, and to find out if its even worth talking to a girl for longer than 10 seconds if its not going to help ME first and foremost.

So go ahead, tell her your feelings, but you better mean it. Don't say it if you just want her pants, don't say it if she does it for every single person out there. I'd recommend you just grab your ****ing balls, walk up to her and tell people today EXACTLY how you feel. It's better to have a good plan today, than a better plan tomorrow. Man up, do what you have to so you don't hide the truth from people, if she hints she likes you, blow up, and make her tell you she likes you. If you like her, shes not going to suddenly grow a pair of balls and tell you to do the same.

 

[GuitarPlayer]

I can't believe this thread was here today. It's almost mystical.

Here's my situation:

1. I like a woman at work. I'm recently widowed.

2. I talked to another woman at work about it (a friend) and told her that I have feelings for this woman and I needed some insight into her character/history.

3. I'm told that she's always gone for macho "bad boy" types, like cops, but she *might* have grown out of that.

Long story short, I was told, "you should tell her how you feel." My response: "No way. That'll make her run screaming from me and never look back."

Input, anyone?

 

[StringShredder]

Originally posted by vazeh
is it ok to tell a girl you have feelings for her.

you're not necessarily revealing how much you like her, but just mentioning you're interested. is that ok?

and to put this in context, a girl told me she has feelings for me and i admit i did as well. i didnt say it first, if that means anything

Just show that you are about 85% as interested in her as she appears to be interested in you, at any given time.

Yes, it means something that you didn't say it first.

But never give a chick the straight answer, unless it's a firm no! Keep them wondering.

 

[Bonhomme]

Show, don't tell, at least until you have some history with the gal.

 

[So pimp its scary]

For you no.... If you have to ask, your not at the stage where you can do that and have it come out just the right way.

You'll know it when your ready.

 

[flexion_]

*** NO *** Absolutely not.

You kill the mystery and kill the fun of it for them.

A women already knows you are interested when you are with her - they just don't know how much. Why else would you be with her? LOL

 

[blueangel83]

I wish I admitted when I had feelings for them.

Ok maybe next time

 

[frivolousz21]

For you no.... If you have to ask, your not at the stage where you can do that and have it come out just the right way.

good answer


I told the 3 women that have been in love with me that Ilove them first....when ive only loved 2 of them...


work on your confidence.

trial and error

 

[DJ4Real]

Don't say anything.....keep her guessing. Show her some interest and then take some interest away. 2 steps foward 1 step back "[will never] let the line go slack".

 

[solo1]

usually i hold out and tell her after she tells me. Of course i will only reciprocate if i feel the same way. If you're doing it to seek validation or get into a girls pants, you're worthless.

even if she doesnt necessarily say it first. the most i'll ever say first is "i think you're an interesting person." or "there's something interesting about you i cant quite put my finger on."

honesty is the best policy.

But i dont think there's anything wrong with admitting your feelings first. As long as your life doesnt revolve around her or you going stalker on her after telling her.

 

[golfguy]

It depends.

It's ruined my relationship with a few girls by doing it, and helped with a few.

It really all depends on the girl.

If you do tell her though, don't flat out tell her "I really have feeling for you", and don't say it more than once.

 

[JackPrescott]

My thoughts on this are that actions speak louder than words. Let HER become emotionally attached FIRST. Show her you care, dont tell her. And dont become clingy wuss boy. Show her you have a life outside of her, and if she is there great, if not, next.

The best thing to do is DATE her, and see how she feels around you. If she starts to date you, and the sex is good, you have taken the first step. WHEN she wants to start seeing you exclusively, then you can maybe start talking a bit about feelings, but keep an air of mystery for awhile, until she is at the point where she would cry for you, if you left her.

 

[So pimp its scary]

I agree completely that some girls you CANNOT say this first... that's an end of the relationship.

However, some girls like to KNOW that they are liked in return for how they feel... so with these girls, you can let it slip, but always in a subtle way.

Her : *Being a brat*
me : I don't think I like you anymore
her : I never knew you liked me in the first place
me : well, not anymore after that one *wink*

 

[Juggalo]

Keep the girl guessing. Let her spill out her feelings for you first and don't give a definite YES until later on...when it just comes out naturally...you'll just feel it...but the longer...sometimes the better.

 

[Distant Light]

Ya you basically did what the called a

SOI (Statement of interest)
Basically you are stating that you are growing feels towards her. I usually use this once in awhile to let her know i'm alittle interested. I only do this after she becomes attracted to me.

 

[arlanda]

C-A-L-I-B-R-A-T-E

If she's shy, inexperienced or LSE you gotta make yourself pretty obvious.

Also, if she's HSE 9.9 and you tell her with confidence that you like something about her and really mean it I guess she will appreciate your boldness.

Seriously, if she loses interest after you tell her you like something about her she wasn't worth anything more than a ONS anyways.

 

[Soprano]

feelings are like that relish/pickle **** i always get from my aunt at christmas.... u keep em bottled up for a long ass time then they somehow mysteriously disappear...... dont open it