admitting feelings

[mastersF]

hmmm. a sample from one of my convos. any feedback is welcome

...
she: see, i'm becoming nicer!
me: good. i only like nice girls.
she: but i've always been nice!
me: oh really? not nice enuff for me. you need to try harder
...

 

[So pimp its scary]

mastersF - If you had the wink, or said that in a slightly sarcastic tone then yes, that's a good example. I mean girl is trying to prove herself to you...

 

[mastersF]

yeah i had the wink. thanks for the feedback!

 

[Energy25]

"one time, at AFC camp" That's my catch phrase now, I love it. :crackup: STOLEN!

If she doesn't have the same feelings, it's better for you if you still want to keep her around not to scare her too much. It's better to show your feelings than it is to let her escape if your not lying to yourself.

AFC's do this, DJ's do that, I am my own man, **** y'all, I tell girls I like them. Than I make them tell me back or to stop wasting my time. Ganji games/gunwitch, I hate being made the fool, no matter how nice the person thinks they are being.

Never dated, never had to wait that long, I prefer sitting at a table and working on it right there. There are more than a billion girls on this planet, some need my help, some need none at all, some are never going to learn. It is my duty to not waste my own time, and to find out if its even worth talking to a girl for longer than 10 seconds if its not going to help ME first and foremost.

So go ahead, tell her your feelings, but you better mean it. Don't say it if you just want her pants, don't say it if she does it for every single person out there. I'd recommend you just grab your ****ing balls, walk up to her and tell people today EXACTLY how you feel. It's better to have a good plan today, than a better plan tomorrow. Man up, do what you have to so you don't hide the truth from people, if she hints she likes you, blow up, and make her tell you she likes you. If you like her, shes not going to suddenly grow a pair of balls and tell you to do the same.

I just happened to come across this thread doing a search and could not agree more with this point, especially for when you have known a girl for a decent amount of time.

If telling a girl your feelings causes her to lose interest in you, well then she wasn't very interested in you to begin with. It makes more sense to just say it after you've gotten to know her, especially if she is somewhat shy.

 

[Energy25]

Very little talking for such a big topic....weird.

 

[The_411]

Why are you telling another woman at your work how you feel about this woman? Not a good idea for a variety of reasons:

1) Women love to gossip- one way or another this will get back to her

2) The target knowing puts you at a disadvatange as she now doesn't have to display her intent. She gets to play queen as she can decide whether or not she's interested in you instead of the reverse.

3) Women already know if a guy has some interest the key is not to tip that interest too heavily. While women will tell men that they want to know that man is totally into them that's pure fabrication. In truth they want to unsure, they want anxiety, drama or does he like me or does he hate me, is he into me yadda yadda.

In the future keep how you feel to yourself as mentioned earlier showing is what a man does, telling is what women do.

Men = action
Women = words

Unless a woman is a as dense as a brick she will know when you display subtle signs.

 

[rocket87]

I was told, "you should tell her how you feel."

Females give the worst advice for pickup. Never ask them for help; let alone mentioning to them who you are/aren't "interested in" (this is like grade school stuff dude...). Unless you're smart enough to use what they say as a "quiz" to study their irrevocably ridiculous 'advice' and pick out why it's so horrendously inaccurate.

 

[Mike32ct]

Women that are into macho guys never completely outgrow it. She might even marry a nice guy some day, but her sexual attraction to him will fade and she will still secretly lust for the macho guy.

Lastly, telling her how you feel is awful advice that females usually give. Don't take advice from women. See my signature thread. Call me a cynic, but subconsciously your friend wants you to stay the lonely nice guy, despite the fact that she may consciously be trying to help. Rare is the woman who will truly help you in this game.

I can't believe this thread was here today. It's almost mystical.

Here's my situation:

1. I like a woman at work. I'm recently widowed.

2. I talked to another woman at work about it (a friend) and told her that I have feelings for this woman and I needed some insight into her character/history.

3. I'm told that she's always gone for macho "bad boy" types, like cops, but she *might* have grown out of that.

Long story short, I was told, "you should tell her how you feel." My response: "No way. That'll make her run screaming from me and never look back."

Input, anyone?

 

[Cherokee]

Generally I wait until the girl has said it first. I'm in an odd situation atm, where this girl has admitted to pretty much being in love with me, but she thinks I'll get bored of her.

90% of the time, its good to be mysterious.

Be the guy she can't label, because it will rocket her interest level.

Genetically it goes something like this equation.

Male Mysteriousness= uncertainty= options= excellent potential mate

 

[Energy25]

Generally I wait until the girl has said it first.

I think this is a key point. If a girl has told you her feelings for you, then I do not think there is anything wrong with telling her how you feel in return. Obviously if she opens up to you and tells you how she feels about you, she is VERY interested in you. Therefore, you telling her in return you have feelings too is not going to cause her to suddenly loose interest lol. (and if it did, well then she wasn't really into you anyways).

People who act like saying things is the kiss of death are completely wrong.