Adding on Facebook

[Swashbuckler]

I've been in college for a couple years now, and Facebook has never had a bigger presence, but I've never had a definitive answer as far as adding women on facebook.

Is it better to add them or have them add you? Or does it even matter?

I've added women before and I've had them add me. I'm just curious as to your thoughts on this.

 

[omega05]

just add them!! why are some things rocket science?

 

[jacob]

be a friend first. remember as kids if you saw someone playing dodge ball you'd just walk up to them and say can I play, and you'd be friends maybe even for life, but when you get older you're pride gets in the way and you want people to come admire you. this puts a wedge in human relationships. just reach out and befriend them first. there are stages that you go thru in order to become someones lover.

 

[donjuanapprentice01]

I understand where the OP is coming from. Guys don't want to get tagged in the "friendzone".

Here's the thing about the "friendzone". If she is "attracted" to you, you don't have to worry about ever being in the friendzone. If she isn't, then you will inevitably fall in there.

I'm starting to use facebook myself, after taking a good 2 year hiatus from it. So far, I've reconnected with old school friends, and starting to talk to others as well.

I think Jacob is right in his response.

 

[Igetit!]

Here's the thing about the "friendzone". If she is "attracted" to you, you don't have to worry about ever being in the friendzone. If she isn't, then you will inevitably fall in there.

Couldn't have said it better myself.

+1 rep.

 

[War Against Betaism]

be a friend first. remember as kids if you saw someone playing dodge ball you'd just walk up to them and say can I play, and you'd be friends maybe even for life, but when you get older you're pride gets in the way and you want people to come admire you. this puts a wedge in human relationships. just reach out and befriend them first. there are stages that you go thru in order to become someones lover.

I've never thought about it that way. On an unrelated note, this actually brings me back to my childhood memories and could probably explain why I've been so chronically shy. I never really got involved with the other kids when they played soccer because I was too afraid to ask them if I could play, and it eventually led to my stunted social development, all because I was too afraid to ask my classmates if I could play soccer. Shoot I could turn this into a book. I'm realizing now how hard it is to reverse this.

Anyways not to go too off topic. What I personally do is if I meet a woman, I usually wait at least three days to see if she adds me on either Facebook or Myspace. I use it as a measuring stick to see how much they're interested in me. If they don't, I add them and work my way around there. However if they add you it doesn't always mean they're interested and if they don't add you it doesn't always mean they aren't. You could say it's even pointless, but I do find that most of the time that if a woman does add you, it shows that she is at least a bit interested.

 

[Commandante]

I don´t understand this Facebook sh!t!

Why should you add a random chick you don´t know IRL or you don´t know any of her friends IRL? This only works if you look like Brad Pitt. But if you look like Brad Pitt why the fvck are you on the net at all?

And if you have IRL connection to the chick why to add her? You should ask her out f2f if you already know her or get know her and ask her out afterwards. But forget about facebook. It is only for the TechCrunch-geeks who sit all the day in front of the computer thinking that CSS or HTML is a real language, twitter is a kind of communication and all the idiots adding them on facebook/myspace/whatever are they real friends... bullsh!t.

 

[Cinamon]

When someone i dont know adds me on facebook, i always look to see how many friends they have on their already. If its a maximum of 20, you think they want to get to know you... for whatever motive, if they have like a hundred friend, i tend to think they are compulsive adders... but accept anyway if they r cute.

 

[Commandante]

When someone i dont know adds me on facebook, i always look to see how many friends they have on their already. If its a maximum of 20, you think they want to get to know you... for whatever motive

Oh honey, don´t tell me you don´t know why a guy adds you! You can´t be that naive!

but accept anyway if they r cute.

Exactly what I said. Being cute hepls. But for god´s sake, if you are cute on the net you are cute IRL as well and you don´t need the net!

 

[Cinamon]

Exactly what I said. Being cute hepls. But for god´s sake, if you are cute on the net you are cute IRL as well and you don´t need the net![/QUOTE]

I would have to disagree with you here, you can be cute as hell, but if you havent got the right social skills... you need the net. Because communication over the net is limited in sme respects even the socially disfunctional can secure a first date. By the way, I am not talking about myself, I am fully competent socially now, although i werent in the past

 

[jacob]

Whoa, I am so tripping right now. Anyway I seen a really fine ass babe respond to one of my girlfriends updates on facebook so I decide to check out her profile, I'm loving her eyes, so I request to add her and send her a message, "Wow! I love your eyes. Mind if I add you?" seconds later I see I have 1 message in my inbox. She replies "Hi...LOL, yah you can add me!" I notice she's not in my friends list yet so I message her "K, accept my friendship then. =)" the update notifies me that she accepted.

I see her on IM chat and I initiate with a "hi" she responds "hi" I ask how she knows Florence she says "that's my sister." Then I realized looking at her pic that I dated Florence's sister 10 years ago! So I say "Tracy!" is that you?! do you remember me? and she does. I honestly didn't know or recognized her and she remembered that we dated. She reminded me it was 10 years ago. I'm 35 now and she's 26, I just did the calculations and I was 25 and she was 16! I french kissed a 16 year old! LOL she told me she was 18 back then.

No wonder Florence keeps bringing up her sister when we chat. And all this time it never hit me. I kept a journal ever since me and the mother of my children broke up in 99, so I went and dusted it off and am going through it to refresh my memory of how we met and dated so I can impress her with my awesome memory. And yeah I still look like a movie star.

Oh when we chatted, I said we should meet up again and she respond "hahaha...my bf would get upset" but the conversation went well. But I'm hoping I can play this and have another chance at her fine ass, I'm sure I gave her a moment in time with our date and that french kiss, since it was I who ceased contact after that day.

 

[Commandante]

To Cinamon

Lets sum up: If you haven´t got the right social skills... you need the net. Because despite of your socially disfunctionality you can secure a first date.

My question: what do you do on the first date?

1. You find somebody socially disfunctional like you. Blind leading the blind.

2. You find an ugly one you don´t wanna fvck.

3. You find a desperate one. After a couple of dates she/he realises theat she/he isn´t desperate enough to fvck you.

Long story short: you don´t need the net. Go to the gym, by new clothes, pick up social skills.