Addicted to being a chode

[Packers2010]

Every time I think about pushing myself or my comfort zone. I get this bad feeling in my stomach and I question whether I really should be doing what I am doing. I’m tired of it. This feeling is what’s keeping me from approaching, From pushing my comfort zone, It even stops me from being me most of the time.

I think what it boils down to is this: I haven’t accepted that I am a chode yet. If I was t tell if I was an alpha, I would say no because I don’t **** girls on a consistent rate ( or at all) at the same time, I don’t think I am a chode because I feel as if I am above that and I can do better than a chode ( I know some really bad chode from high school. I am WAY more out going than them. Though I still don’t laid) so if I’m not even approaching, then I must be a chode. There’s no other way about it.

What would you say would be the best way to overcome this “ feeling I keep getting” it’s so bad *I was thinking about going to the free tour this coming nonmember and the thought of it just started to turn my stomach. How can I overcome this.

And YES I know that approaching TONES of girls would help. But with this feeling I can’t do it at all. So there no point in telling me to just approach.. becauseit JUST don’t happen

 

[flashpoint]

you seem pretty critical of yourself. tells me you might set your goals too high most of the time and set yourself up for disappointment.

so my advice, just make a step out of your comfort zone once in a while, dont try to jump out of it all at once.

and what is this "nonmember"? freudian slip? you feeling emasculated? seems to me you putting too much energy into blaming yourself and less in things that benefit you. change that.

last thing: the unknown scares us and makes us feel uncomfortable. all of us. this fear and sick feeling in your stomach should tell you that it is important. and nothing more. and just imagine how you will feel once you got past that.

big wins consist of small victories. so maybe as a starter you say "fock it" and just take that trip and let yourself be surprised of what happens. let your expectations stay at home but take an open mind with you.

 

[Alle_Gory]

Every time I think about pushing myself or my comfort zone. I get this bad feeling in my stomach and I question whether I really should be doing what I am doing. I’m tired of it. This feeling is what’s keeping me from approaching, From pushing my comfort zone, It even stops me from being me most of the time.

Courage is not the absence of fear. Courage is feeling fear and doing it anyways.

If I was t tell if I was an alpha, I would say no because I don’t **** girls on a consistent rate ( or at all) at the same time, I don’t think I am a chode because I feel as if I am above that and I can do better than a chode ( I know some really bad chode from high school. I am WAY more out going than them. Though I still don’t laid) so if I’m not even approaching, then I must be a chode. There’s no other way about it.

Alpha has many definitions. You don't focus on being alpha. That is a summary of many things you are doing.

The more you focus on it, the worse off you are.

What would you say would be the best way to overcome this “ feeling I keep getting” it’s so bad *I was thinking about going to the free tour this coming nonmember and the thought of it just started to turn my stomach. How can I overcome this.

Man up. You want something, go get it. Or at least try.

Stop trying to be alpha and start doing the right thing. Who cares what people think of you? What matters most is what you think of yourself. Just get it done.

And YES I know that approaching TONES of girls would help. But with this feeling I can’t do it at all. So there no point in telling me to just approach.. becauseit JUST don’t happen

You don't become alpha by hitting on a bunch of girls just for the sake of hitting on a bunch of girls.

Seriously. Dude...

 

[btownbuck2012]

Every time I think about pushing myself or my comfort zone. I get this bad feeling in my stomach and I question whether I really should be doing what I am doing. I’m tired of it. This feeling is what’s keeping me from approaching, From pushing my comfort zone, It even stops me from being me most of the time.

I think what it boils down to is this: I haven’t accepted that I am a chode yet. If I was t tell if I was an alpha, I would say no because I don’t **** girls on a consistent rate ( or at all) at the same time, I don’t think I am a chode because I feel as if I am above that and I can do better than a chode ( I know some really bad chode from high school. I am WAY more out going than them. Though I still don’t laid) so if I’m not even approaching, then I must be a chode. There’s no other way about it.

What would you say would be the best way to overcome this “ feeling I keep getting” it’s so bad *I was thinking about going to the free tour this coming nonmember and the thought of it just started to turn my stomach. How can I overcome this.

And YES I know that approaching TONES of girls would help. But with this feeling I can’t do it at all. So there no point in telling me to just approach.. becauseit JUST don’t happen

My Advice? Don't do anything.

Why? Because eventually the pain of being a "chode", as you've described yourself to be, will be so strong that you will FORCE yourself to get out and approach.

 

[BeDJ]

Just smile and have small talk with random people throughout your day. Get comfortable just opening up anyone, chicks would be no problem afterwards. If you aren't going to give it a shot, change your sig.

Sooner or later, if you're any kind of man, you got to step up...step out, and see what the f@ck you got!

 

[dap]

It sounds to me like you have depression and anxiety. This is a common problem and nothing to be ashamed of. 20% of people become depressed at some time in their lives, and it is due to a combination of things happening in your life and chemical imbalances in your brain. It is a treatable condition and all you would have to do is go talk to your family medicine doctor who can give you an antidepressant. It is nothing to be ashamed of, it will improve your attitude and the way you see the world (and therby make you more attractive), and it is only temporary. That is my suggestion.

 

[Packers2010]

Stop trying to be alpha and start doing the right thing. Who cares what people think of you? What matters most is what you think of yourself. Just get it done.



You don't become alpha by hitting on a bunch of girls just for the sake of hitting on a bunch of girls.

Seriously. Dude...

i talked about " alpha" there as a huge simplification. to me " alpha" is just a word that i use for someone who gets girls. it's just easy to say that then go into to some long drawn out speech about what i want. i know what i want. i just can't get there yet. though i get what your saying, i do put too much meaning into it.

 

[Packers2010]

Just smile and have small talk with random people throughout your day. Get comfortable just opening up anyone, chicks would be no problem afterwards. If you aren't going to give it a shot, change your sig.

i have been trying. what my problem is this is holding me back. it's not letting me do what I want.

the difference between a guy who is good with girls and someone who is not is 1000 approaches. i'm not trying to take any shortcuts or look for a magic pill. i'm just trying to get over this hurdle just enough so i can start my own crazy journey,

every time i try, I come up with some excuse not to do it and do the same **** i always do. Jerk it too some crappy porn.

 

[Packers2010]

It sounds to me like you have depression and anxiety. This is a common problem and nothing to be ashamed of. 20% of people become depressed at some time in their lives, and it is due to a combination of things happening in your life and chemical imbalances in your brain. It is a treatable condition and all you would have to do is go talk to your family medicine doctor who can give you an antidepressant. It is nothing to be ashamed of, it will improve your attitude and the way you see the world (and therby make you more attractive), and it is only temporary. That is my suggestion.

surely you can't be serious?

I know what depression is. i used to be that way as a KID. i used to cut too. trust me i am happy now.. i just don't like a few things in my life. witch are sort of out of my control At the moment.

 

[BlackEricNorthman]

I for some odd reason thought this thread was titled "Addicted to being a cholo".

 

[dap]

surely you can't be serious?

I know what depression is. i used to be that way as a KID. i used to cut too. trust me i am happy now.. i just don't like a few things in my life. witch are sort of out of my control At the moment.

I'm not a doctor and I'm glad you have thought about this stuff before. My impression was that the feeling that you were getting in your stomach (classic anxiety) was interferring with your life, and seeing that anxiety is something that is easily treatable, I thought that you may be receptive to talking to someone/taking medication. If you feel that this is a minor issue, then forget it. Some anxiety is normal.