"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Acts Interested but Cancels 3rd date?

naes

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So I met this chick at a party, get her number, call her, we go out twice and it goes well. Both of the dates we did connect pretty well. I then cut communication to test her interest level and just three days later she texts me asking what I'm doing tomorrow and shortly after she finds my sn on facebook (id say a sign of high interest) and IM's me. I say I was thinking about drinking somewhere but hadn't made plans and maybe we could do something.

The next day I text her suggesting the movies and she asks which one. I tell her but get no response. She calls later saying shes out shopping at a place thats relatively far away and won't be back as soon as she thought and didn't want to make me wait for her. I sarcastically asked her "who goes shopping on a Friday night?" and she responds "well apparently i do!" (all in a joking way) just to call her out a little bit. I tell her maybe some other time and leave it at that.

I plan on just nexting her unless she contacts me again with some legit plans.

What do you guys think? Why would she initiate contact through AIM and ask me what I was doing Fri night if she was just going to cancel?
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Gangster Of Love

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You met up with her and went very well? Did you kiss her and/or escalate physically? Seems like you didn't have set plans for 3rd date, so I wouldn't sweat it about that.

Why is she doing that? Who knows. Who cares. Broads do all kinds of stupid $hit for so many different reasons. Next time she contacts you, and wait until she does, TELL HER to go meet you somwhere, if she starts acting like she's not interested just ignore her and tell her to call you in a couple of weeks if she wants to do something, and don't sweat it.
 

naes

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Gangster Of Love said:
You met up with her and went very well? Did you kiss her and/or escalate physically?
There was mild kino, but I didn't kiss her. I need to work on escalating still. It just messes with your head when things seem to go really well and you have a lot in common and then weird stuff like this happens.

I know its always best to not think about it much, but I'm always curious about it when these things happen.
 

naes

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Gangster Of Love said:
You met up with her and went very well? Did you kiss her and/or escalate physically? Seems like you didn't have set plans for 3rd date, so I wouldn't sweat it about that.

Why is she doing that? Who knows. Who cares. Broads do all kinds of stupid $hit for so many different reasons. Next time she contacts you, and wait until she does, TELL HER to go meet you somwhere, if she starts acting like she's not interested just ignore her and tell her to call you in a couple of weeks if she wants to do something, and don't sweat it.
So do you think I should just cut communication entirely until she initiates again?
 

B4IFURU18?

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Stop overreacting, she was busy, and you caught her at a bad moment. Call her in 3 or 4 days to reschedule.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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The Sperminator

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Well people have lifes sometimes they have things going on besides waiting for you to ask them out. Give her a break. You called at a bad time. But if she keeps on doing it then shes probably not interested.
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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naes said:
...The next day I text her suggesting the movies and she asks which one. I tell her but get no response. She calls later saying shes out shopping at a place thats relatively far away and won't be back as soon as she thought and didn't want to make me wait for her. I sarcastically asked her "who goes shopping on a Friday night?" and she responds "well apparently i do!" (all in a joking way) just to call her out a little bit. I tell her maybe some other time and leave it at that....
You need to practice spinning multiple plates, you seem too interested too soon after meeting a woman. Keep yourself busy by going out with multiple women at once and you shouldn't have much time to get frustrated when one is busy. It's nice to have backups. :up:
 

Obsidian

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She didn't cancel on you. She never replied to your womanly text msg. Here's an idea, BE A MAN AND GET AWAY FROM THE F*CKING TEXT MESSAGES. Quit acting like a little girl; just call her up!

When you call her, offer her one idea for a date. If she doesn't like it, have one backup proposal in mind (something else that you would actually like to do!). Schedule this a couple days in advance to avoid conflicting with any previous plans she's made. Girls are always afraid of being alone so they usually like to schedule crap days in advance.

If she says she's busy, propose an alternate date. If she doesn't like either date proposal or otherwise indicates only lukewarm interest, DROP her immediately and find someone better.

If she doesn't answer the phone and you get voicemail, leave a message saying, "umm Hey HB, this is Naes, I'll call you back later." Then call back the next day. If you can't ever get ahold of her over the phone, NEXT.

but text messages are just silly
 

naes

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thanks for the responses guys...

however, wouldn't it be a fool-proof test to just not talk to her anymore until she contacts me? If she had any interest wouldn't she initiate communication at some point?

ps. shes cute, but not ultra hot, id say HB 7, if it makes a difference.
 

B4IFURU18?

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naes said:
thanks for the responses guys...

however, wouldn't it be a fool-proof test to just not talk to her anymore until she contacts me? If she had any interest wouldn't she initiate communication at some point?

ps. shes cute, but not ultra hot, id say HB 7, if it makes a difference.

Nah, I'm usually persistent in these situations. You just caught her at a bad time, she knows that. If you wait 2+ days, she won't see it as clingy, and probably wouldn't anyway. Don't worry about it...

Just call her the next time you're interested in doing something with her. Perhaps wait till this weekend when you're going out. I bet if you call her Thursday and she hasn't made serious unbreakable plans prior, she'll meet you somewhere.

It really doesn't matter if she's an HB7 or 10...
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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aussiegoat55

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Let her have some space and time to go shopping, don't always think she's lying or spewing. I've had to cancel plans because of working overtime, you think my girl thought I was lying? No, I legitimatley needed to work OT.

I recommend trying to set up more dates, escalate the kino like GoL said. And go with your gut. I wouldn't next her if she doesn't contact you first about plans, most of the time you have to initiate the plans if you want anything to happen. I would also date other women, have other options, keep busy with your life, you might want to put her on the back burner. But if her interest level decreases stop seeing her.

I think you're overanalyzing, so STOP IT!
 

Obsidian

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imo, any time you wait around for the girl to make a move, you're just setting yourself up for trouble. Hors and men take action; women seldom do.
 
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