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Activity Dates vs Coffee Dates for the First time?

Zimbabwe

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A lot of people say to keep the investment low on the first date and they usually suggest to go for something simple like coffee or drinks at a bar.

I feel like an activity date (rock climbing,hiking and gym) would be a lot more exciting/memorable and it would be easier to bond over a shared activity. It also means she has to invest more to see you.

For anyone who has done both for an extended period of time, what worked out to be the best?
 

PowerQuest

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A lot of people say to keep the investment low on the first date and they usually suggest to go for something simple like coffee or drinks at a bar.

I feel like an activity date (rock climbing,hiking and gym) would be a lot more exciting/memorable and it would be easier to bond over a shared activity. It also means she has to invest more to see you.

For anyone who has done both for an extended period of time, what worked out to be the best?
Dude it doesn´t matter. Don´t spend time thinking of what "she wants". Fvck that!
Just do whatever you think is fun and interesting and invite her into that. She want you to lead anyway...
 

LucianoM

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First time is drinks and dancing, thats a better environment to showcase your game and personality. Second date can be activity.
 

Pierce.Manhammer

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If you’re into fitness or outdoor activities the hike/walk is a better choice, especially if you’re dealing with OLD.

The lazy, couch potatoes and SIFs will opt out. In my case I like fitness in a woman, I get to see her in shorts or leggings and see how she moves her body.

Plan a 1-2 hour hike mid morning and opt for a lunch instadate if it goes ok.
 

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BadBoy89

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First date you got to go for coffee.

On any activity date, there are way too many distractions. You take her hiking and sees a 6'2 Chad, you are done for.
 

LucianoM

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You guys actually take girls for coffee dates? No alcohol involved? No bumpin music? I find that weird af
 

Stanley

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First date you got to go for coffee.

On any activity date, there are way too many distractions. You take her hiking and sees a 6'2 Chad, you are done for.
Dude, if she runs off to 6'2 Chad she wasn't worth your time anyways. At least now you get to enjoy a scenic walk and ditch the low quality girl. Two birds with one stone
 

Zimbabwe

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You guys actually take girls for coffee dates? No alcohol involved? No bumpin music? I find that weird af
I'm not looking for casual sex with Slvts, I also don't like to drink alcohol.

First date you got to go for coffee.

On any activity date, there are way too many distractions. You take her hiking and sees a 6'2 Chad, you are done for.
6'2 Chads don't go to coffee shops?
 

SW15

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The real answer is neither. Neither an activity date nor a coffee date is a good first date in most cases.

The biggest problem with coffee dates as first dates is escalation. It's quite difficult to set a sexual mood in a coffee shop. Coffee shops are too neutral of an environment. Neutral is bad. What ends up happening with coffee dates is that the get together is neutral to pleasant, but she's not feeling an intense sexual attraction and sexual desire. Women today have too many options to bother to take the time to see if something like that can develop. They need to have "all the feelz" right away, especially in instances where you're using a swipe apps or social media platform to arrange the date. The instant chemistry has to be there and a coffee date doesn't set it. If you are arranging dates from approaching strangers, the female expectations are not quite as sky high as apps or social media, but you do need to make a bigger impression than what would likely happen on a coffee date.

Activity dates as first dates are problematic for different reasons. First off, if you're arranging dates based on swipe app interactions, social media DMs, or 5-15 minute conversations from an in-person stranger approach, you likely don't have enough information to plan a good activity date, have yet to uncover a good activity option based on your common interests, or some activity date isn't feasible for some other reason. When considering activity, many of them can't be done on weeknights, so that's schedule limiting for the type of person working Mon-Fri day jobs.

The best first dates are drinks dates in bars. It's a good default date when you can't think of anything else.

Dinner dates in restaurants as first dates are a bad idea if you are arranging dates via swipe app, social media DMs, or stranger approaches. They're expensive, often boring, and aren't set up well for escalating into sex/creating that sexual frame. Because of those things, they lead to a lot of failed interactions. The only time that a dinner date might be acceptable on a first date is when the date is arranged from a strong social circle connection. Even then, it is debatable. What's amazing to me is that there are still many men using swipe apps or social media DMs in the 2020s and setting up first dates as dinner dates.
 

BadBoy89

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6'2 Chads don't go to coffee shops?
I don't know but much easier to walk away from a guy you are hiking with than get up from the chair and go all the way across the room to talk
 

2Rocky

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Coffee date is for when you have a 30 minute window to see if you want to spend more time with this woman. It's during the week in between your real life...

The hike, which should be accompanied with a picnic/tailgate lunch and some escalation, with alcohol as an option. Good for summer evenings, or Early Fall middays on a Sunday. Make it a hike or run or walk you would want to do anyway. This has the potential to go "grab a shower" at either of your places. Much of the escalation success depends on post Exercise endorphins..
 

Dr.Suave

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If she has high interest it really doesnt matter. Do whatever you want.
 

bat soup

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A lot of people say to keep the investment low on the first date and they usually suggest to go for something simple like coffee or drinks at a bar.

I feel like an activity date (rock climbing,hiking and gym) would be a lot more exciting/memorable and it would be easier to bond over a shared activity. It also means she has to invest more to see you.

For anyone who has done both for an extended period of time, what worked out to be the best?
Any activity is good, as long as it's sexual.
 

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The Diver

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The biggest problem with coffee dates as first dates is escalation,,, but she's not feeling an intense sexual attraction and sexual desire
This is bs ^
Half of my date was a coffee date, and I F 90% of them on the third date or even earlier.

Women know if they want/will F you in the first 5 minutes into the date, and it doesn't matter what kind of date you do.
 

derby1

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analysis paralysis OP

you do what you thinks best, I personally wouldnt spend much on them. as theyre behaviour is apalling
 
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