active disinterest + aloofness = friendzone?

[cloneofstenyhoyer]

I still don't get it and I guess I'll just keep posting this same problem until I get an adequate answer out there from someone who knows their s***.

When you are being all mysterious and not letting a girl know how much you are interested - how do you know she isn't just going to say to herself, "who is this guy? he is hanging out with me, not being romantic whatsoever, gee he may be a great FRIEND."

I mean - just asking a girl to hang out doesn't express any interest. Nowadays guys and girls hang out as FRIENDS, so maybe the girl you are just hanging out with and acting all aloof and disinterested over - will put you in the same box as all her other guy FRIENDS.

I am sorry, but getting a girl's phone number and asking her out on a date are not enough to communicate interest to a girl. I have been placed in the friend's zone many times by not taking it past this step. I hang out with the girl and it seems like she thinks we are friends from the get-go.

How do you create romantic interest? If anyone knows any good links to look at, please let me know because I don't see this in the bible. All that is in there is the same ol' same ol' about NOT GIVING A SH**. Well I do give a SH** about not being confused as some guy that just wants to "hang out" with a girl. I feel that my interest has to be communicated at some point and the dogma of this website seems to be "just act disinterested enough and she'll start giving you IOIs". Am I wrong here?

 

[Bonafide]

I dunno about you but I dont have any girl friends...well literally girl FRIENDS

thats just gay

I cant be around a hot female and be just friends...**** doesnt work like that, I dunno how u do it...its just straight up gay like if ur not ****ing what are u two doing? having fun doing what? shopping? thats homo



but to answer ur question

UR OVER ANALYZING...


maybe ur just not man enough


u gotta show that ur not afraid of ur testosterone... u probably dont have any though thats why it seems so hard for you...no offense...

 

[cloneofstenyhoyer]

I don't like having girls as friends either. That was not my point. Girls and guys often DO become friends. I see it ALL THE TIME. ON PURPOSE. Sometimes it's platonic and not an AFC/HB relationship. I don't know how a girl is supposed to magically know that I don't want to be her platonic friend.

 

[Bluesteak]

You're mad now, just wait until she starts throwing ioi's out and then it will be friends with you thinking she likes you, but she just wants your company.

 

[zzeitgeist]

Buddy, you need to be sexual with her.. lots of kino, lots of sexual innuendos oh and going in for a fvckin kiss will definitely do it lol... stop being a chump.

Also remember you don't wanna over do it.. 80% pull 20% push

 

[Bonafide]

You must show SEXUAL INTEREST. You can do this simply by your aura and how you act when you are around her... Eye contact can help too. Whatever you think, I believe translates through to the female when you two make eye contact...I read something the other day about complimenting....when you do compliment make it something that you wouldn't hear another female saying to her...things of that nature.

 

[cloneofstenyhoyer]

yeah okay, I'm not man enough. Let me just be around the girl and show her how much of a man I am. Great advice Bonafide. Let me just stand around a girl and what? lift weights? punch a brick wall? I do act like a man around women and that alone isn't enough to create interest on her end.

 

[zzeitgeist]

By being a man you need to be COMFORTABLE with your sexuality and understand she wants you to bend her over and give it to her hard.

You don't think so? You would be so fvckin surprised man. I dont care how innocent this girl is she wants it hard. Your being to damn passive and thats why your falling into a friends zone.

You would have better luck telling her you wanna stick your **** inside her then what your doing now.

 

[cloneofstenyhoyer]

You're mad now, just wait until she starts throwing ioi's out and then it will be friends with you thinking she likes you, but she just wants your company.

can you elaborate on that?

 

[cloneofstenyhoyer]

how about I just rape her next time we hang out? I don't know how to express sexuality just randomly or by my "aura"- whatever that is. I mean, say we're at dinner - do I just say "hey sugartits, I really wanna be plowing your brains out tonight". I never had to do this with girls before. It seems like they just new I was interested - now women don't. what happened.

 

[cloneofstenyhoyer]

either the girl is going to think I am in DESPERATE need of sex or I don't know. Also, if I start showing her disinterest - she's gonna be like so f****ing what. What does a girl care if I show disinterest?

 

[LookTowardsTheFuture]

All the advice given about disinterest and aloofness is meant for the Average Frustrated Chumps and Nice Guys. It doesn't apply once you have reached a sort of mastery level. You may abandon that thought.

There is nothing wrong with showing a strong interest, but unlike the Nice Guy, a Don Juan shows his interest, but does not couple it was EAGERNESS. The wanting badly to be close to someone, needing them desperately, is the killer of attraction.

Drop the eagerness. Show the interest. You can WANT something, but it doesn't mean you NEED it. Get it?

 

[cloneofstenyhoyer]

Thanks Looks - I think that helps - if anyone can expand that'd be great too. also any links concerning sexual states and how to display sexuality would be good too.

 

[zzeitgeist]

No but you have to give hints that your interested in her sexually and you want her thinking of you sexually. I can't give you exact one liners since everything is situational.

ok......
Lets say she ordered something like Chorizo(a type of meat/suasage) pasta. I would normally crack a joke a long the lines of "do you always go for the sausage?(SMILE) I like you already(SMILE)"

OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT, it has to fit your personality and you have to back it up with confidence and a nice smile.... to some people the above will sound retarded but trust me I pull it of and the girl always giggles and laughs. You need to find what works for you but you get the idea.

All of a sudden you have her thinking sexually and relating that to you. Your making her FEEL sexual... your building attraction.

 

[cloneofstenyhoyer]

however - the last girl I mentioned sex to - well she put me in the friends zone and said "I want more than sex" or some such drivel.

 

[zzeitgeist]

You just seem a little clueless.. its all about delivery, and not being NEEDY... your tone, your body language it has to be congruent with what your saying. Are you backing it up with KINO? Are you making the situation uncomfortable? Does she feel uneasy? Are you anticipating her response... ?? All bad things to do.

Also she may not even be attracted to you to begin with so if you got everything else right it wont matter, you'll need to next her and try it on the next girl.

 

[cloneofstenyhoyer]

well if she isn't attracted to me - then don't agree to hang out with me. I mean last time I used kino on her - didn't get any back - I think I tried an out of place kiss at the end of the night and she didn't reciprocate my moves so I ejected. Yet, she wants to hang out again. I dunno. what if I mention sex and she acts all confused/disinterested?

WHY IN THE HEL*L WOULD THIS GIRL want to hang out with me if we met on a DATING SITE - if she isn't interested? why is she trying to hang out again?

 

[Cashew]

Be sexual!

Right from the start. Be sexual in conversation. Be sexual in body language. Be sexual in playing with her. Be sexual in touching her. Don't be afraid of being masculine. you don;t have to jump right in to humping her. But you can always lead the conversation to something sexually sugeestive.

 

[cloneofstenyhoyer]

I just don't think I am prepared for her reaction to any forward displays of sexuality on my part. I keep imagining her showing me IODs or acting confused or acting like I didn't say anything. If she doesn't respond well to my sexual vibes - should I NEXT her? After how long? I find that I NEXT women TOO SOON. Like one sh!t test and they are nexted. If they aren't flirting like mad - I next them. But in addition to that I think that I start acting all mean/mad and I think that is a bad thing.

 

[DonJuan11]

When you are being all mysterious and not letting a girl know how much you are interested - how do you know she isn't just going to say to herself, "who is this guy? he is hanging out with me, not being romantic whatsoever, gee he may be a great FRIEND."

I mean - just asking a girl to hang out doesn't express any interest. Nowadays guys and girls hang out as FRIENDS, so maybe the girl you are just hanging out with and acting all aloof and disinterested over - will put you in the same box as all her other guy FRIENDS.

I am sorry, but getting a girl's phone number and asking her out on a date are not enough to communicate interest to a girl. I have been placed in the friend's zone many times by not taking it past this step. I hang out with the girl and it seems like she thinks we are friends from the get-go.



How do you create romantic interest? If anyone knows any good links to look at, please let me know because I don't see this in the bible. All that is in there is the same ol' same ol' about NOT GIVING A SH**. Well I do give a SH** about not being confused as some guy that just wants to "hang out" with a girl. I feel that my interest has to be communicated at some point and the dogma of this website seems to be "just act disinterested enough and she'll start giving you IOIs". Am I wrong here?

We are not saying "act disinterested and she'll fall in love with you." We are saying don't phone 2-3 times a day and ask "What are you doing? Do you miss me? What did you have for lunch today? What did have for supper today?" Stuff like that doesn't turn girls on because it deals with logic.

You are doing things to make her feel you are her friend. If you did things to eventually move into boyfriend area, she would know and would respond accordingly. You have to deal with her emotions to turn her on. You have to show her through your actions. Give her something to get excited about. Take her dancing, take her sky diving, take her to an art show, talk about something she likes for 3 hours, etc, etc, etc. If you are not acting in a way to turn her on, she will feel like she's hanging out with her brother -> friendzone -> no kiss