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Actions vs Words

bat soup

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A woman's actions show you what she really wants.
Her words tell you what she wants you to believe.

Example: "I'd love to see you but I'm so busy this week"
Words: "I'd love to see you." She wants you to believe that.
Actions: She's not making any plans to see you. So she doesn't really want to see you at all.
 

BeExcellent

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Advice from the old lady:

This is a simple truth but one people don’t want to see oftentimes.

Actions ALWAYS reveal the truth. It is easy to mislead with words, difficult to mislead with actions.

What happens is ego gets involved in the equation. Ego wants to believe the flattery of words in the face of actions. So ego guides a person to cling to words rather than observe actions. It’s a simple objective measure of interest level, congruency, BS factor, desire level.

Actions indicate investment. I look for investment and congruence. Demonstrated through actions. That is how you gauge interest level, desire, etc.

But to do so requires setting aside ego and one’s own expectations. Never evaluate how much you want someone. Evaluate how much she wants you. That will be expressed in different ways depending on the girl...and that is your job to sort out how her actions convey interest (does she chase you for example, or does she respond receptively to your advances)...

Observe what she does without ego.

Pick from women whose actions show high interest. The quality of your interactions will go up immediately...
 

bat soup

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Advice from the old lady:

This is a simple truth but one people don’t want to see oftentimes.

Actions ALWAYS reveal the truth. It is easy to mislead with words, difficult to mislead with actions.

What happens is ego gets involved in the equation. Ego wants to believe the flattery of words in the face of actions. So ego guides a person to cling to words rather than observe actions. It’s a simple objective measure of interest level, congruency, BS factor, desire level.

Actions indicate investment. I look for investment and congruence. Demonstrated through actions. That is how you gauge interest level, desire, etc.

But to do so requires setting aside ego and one’s own expectations. Never evaluate how much you want someone. Evaluate how much she wants you. That will be expressed in different ways depending on the girl...and that is your job to sort out how her actions convey interest (does she chase you for example, or does she respond receptively to your advances)...

Observe what she does without ego.

Pick from women whose actions show high interest. The quality of your interactions will go up immediately...
Ego and desire can often cloud a man's judgement. It's easier to see what's going on when you're not personally involved.
 

corrector

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Do you guys honestly want a rejection like "I'm sorry, I don't think we are a great match"? I just got the other day, so there is not much guess work to that.
 

Steel_Neurons

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Do you guys honestly want a rejection like "I'm sorry, I don't think we are a great match"? I just got the other day, so there is not much guess work to that.
I'm fine with that, personally. I've had that before when I used to do OLD. I just thanked the person for letting me know and wished them good luck.
 

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bat soup

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Do you guys honestly want a rejection like "I'm sorry, I don't think we are a great match"? I just got the other day, so there is not much guess work to that.
I don't really care what words they say. The words that women say are of minor importance. What matters are their actions.
 
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corrector

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I don't really care what words they say. The words that women say are of minor importance. What matters are their actions.
So how would you read that then? If someone says they are not interested, how can their actions show they are interested and they are lying?
 

Velasco

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If someone says they are not interested, how can their actions show they are interested and they are lying?
if words align with actions = she's telling you the truth.
if words do not align with actions = she's lying.

girl says so your ugly w/ face of disgust = she's telling you the truth
girl says your so ugly while laughing in flirty way = she's lying (joking more accurately in this instance).

so in your case, if the girl says, we are not a good match, then proceeds by not giving you nothing to work with, one word sentence. ghosts you etc, she's telling you the truth.
 

corrector

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if words align with actions = she's telling you the truth.
if words do not align with actions = she's lying.

girl says so your ugly w/ face of disgust = she's telling you the truth
girl says your so ugly while laughing in flirty way = she's lying (joking more accurately in this instance).

so in your case, if the girl says, we are not a good match, then proceeds by not giving you nothing to work with, one word sentence. ghosts you etc, she's telling you the truth.
She did not ghost me. I did not reply to that. I just made sure she was not put off with me talking about my ex who also happened to be her friend she has not spoken to in a while. She felt it would not work out with us. I asked her if that was because I asked her out on video chat after talking about this ex. She said, not just that...we are not a good match. I said nothing to reply to that since she is probably right. Her SMV is too high, she has a career as a nuclear engineer. She is single. I am not established. Plus Indian families are harsh to deal with. These type of girls probably look for trophy white established bfs. But if she is still single, then she has not found a match either and could be super picky. But a nuclear scientist technitian, I wont be wearing the pants there.
 

Georgepithyou

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Do you guys honestly want a rejection like "I'm sorry, I don't think we are a great match"? I just got the other day, so there is not much guess work to that.
Yes, because its direct and honest. Even someone who is clueless about game would realise that and cut their losses.
 

Lordeterra

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A woman's actions show you what she really wants.
Her words tell you what she wants you to believe.

Example: "I'd love to see you but I'm so busy this week"
Words: "I'd love to see you." She wants you to believe that.
Actions: She's not making any plans to see you. So she doesn't really want to see you at all.
Have a girl doing this to me rn feels bad man. She was my **** buddy for 6 months
 

Glassguy

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A woman's actions show you what she really wants.
Her words tell you what she wants you to believe.

Example: "I'd love to see you but I'm so busy this week"
Words: "I'd love to see you." She wants you to believe that.
Actions: She's not making any plans to see you. So she doesn't really want to see you at all.
True......but....This also means:

I have no plans to see you this week. HOWEVER, if my first 3 picks bail on me for the person they really want to see, and ALL of my friends are busy I MIGHT hit you up and let you take me out for free food and entertainment. But don't think its going somewhere because I'm only going to be with you as a last resort so you better pamper me. Don't even think sex is happening.

If I got that series of texts from a chick I would NOT reply back because I know what's waiting at the end of her rainbow. Which is more frustration and a non submitting woman.

No thanks.

You have to know when to hold them and more importantly, know when to fold them!
 

mrgoodstuff

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She did not ghost me. I did not reply to that. I just made sure she was not put off with me talking about my ex who also happened to be her friend she has not spoken to in a while. She felt it would not work out with us. I asked her if that was because I asked her out on video chat after talking about this ex. She said, not just that...we are not a good match. I said nothing to reply to that since she is probably right. Her SMV is too high, she has a career as a nuclear engineer. She is single. I am not established. Plus Indian families are harsh to deal with. These type of girls probably look for trophy white established bfs. But if she is still single, then she has not found a match either and could be super picky. But a nuclear scientist technitian, I wont be wearing the pants there.
You guys still can have fun. We can't go trying to search for a relationship anyway. It doesn't work these days.
 

corrector

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You guys still can have fun. We can't go trying to search for a relationship anyway. It doesn't work these days.
Really? Indulge me. Based on what I just wrote how would you reply back to that? If you are seeing something that even @Georgepithyou and everyone else can't see if then you have my full attention!

She didn't mention relationship, she assumed I wanted to date her. Dating is usually a precursor towards a relationship or something leading to marriage. On a personal level, I don't see how you can make memories with someone and purpose to settle for good memories while the person you had the good memories with is gone, with another guy, or whatever. All fun becomes are just memories. Also, why would I be vested in just more memories rather than fulfilling my role as being a proper husband to someone worthy of me and me of her at 45 y/o? I can't start having kids being too old now right? Not much time to waste "on fun" when you getting old like me.
 

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mrgoodstuff

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Really? Indulge me. Based on what I just wrote how would you reply back to that? If you are seeing something that even @Georgepithyou and everyone else can't see if then you have my full attention!

She didn't mention relationship, she assumed I wanted to date her. Dating is usually a precursor towards a relationship or something leading to marriage. On a personal level, I don't see how you can make memories with someone and purpose to settle for good memories while the person you had the good memories with is gone, with another guy, or whatever. All fun becomes are just memories. Also, why would I be vested in just more memories rather than fulfilling my role as being a proper husband to someone worthy of me and me of her at 45 y/o? I can't start having kids being too old now right? Not much time to waste "on fun" when you getting old like me.
You been around here long enough to know that she has to be the one who wants to manipulate you into a relationship. For that to happen you guys have to be hanging out and getting sexual. For that to happen she has to desire you. For that to happen you have to attract her with your game or your physical image or both.

Trying to hunt for a relationship these days has proven not to work consistently because the man gives up all his power and the successful daters don't think like that. So you'll come across as needy compared to the rest of the market wanting that up front.
 

corrector

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You been around here long enough to know that she has to be the one who wants to manipulate you into a relationship. For that to happen you guys have to be hanging out and getting sexual. For that to happen she has to desire you. For that to happen you have to attract her with your game or your physical image or both.

Trying to hunt for a relationship these days has proven not to work consistently because the man gives up all his power and the successful daters don't think like that. So you'll come across as needy compared to the rest of the market wanting that up front.
If someone says you are not a good match then that means they are not attracted. I never asked her for anything beyond a video-chat for a reply like that. That's a strong objection against a video-chat meaning she doesn't even want that. How else can you read that?
 

corrector

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Also to be honest, you can say she is in that "oneitis" category and when you are dealing with one girl, then even on any "game-rules" you are going to mess that up or its going to go sideways. She asked for my background and what I'm doing at some point earlier in the exchange. I knew there was no chance because she controlled the frame too much and I didn't pivot enough.

My rationale is that I can feel more free to express myself if there is nothing to lose. On the first email, I thought I wrote a weird email and she was gone. Then I put a facebook friend request with her. She accepted it and resumed talking saying she can't remember me. I brought up my ex because she knew her from the past and maybe she would remember me too. Then she asked those serious questions and I buckled and displayed a massive DLV as far as my job/occupation is concerned or what I thought about her and I couldn't believe I even wrote that. So, I knew I probably already sunk-myself game wise. She then brought up that she does remember my ex as her friend and was surprized we were dating. I then corrected her and said we were engaged but she was rather secretive about us, etc.... THEN I ASKED HER OUT ON A VIDEO-CHAT. Crown me fail of the year already!

Anyway, I'm somewhat relieved. Any video-exchange probably would have gone badly anyway since I'd just project nerves and tension. At least I'm spared further potential humiliation.

With me there is no lesson because you will always mess up when you are just dealing with ONE girl. I figure, if you are going to mess-up, then make it a first-class mess-up. Don't mess up a little bit, give it the works and let it crash! I mean it did crash for her to say that right?
 

mrgoodstuff

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If someone says you are not a good match then that means they are not attracted. I never asked her for anything beyond a video-chat for a reply like that. That's a strong objection against a video-chat meaning she doesn't even want that. How else can you read that?
That's what it means. If you were seriously fvck able she wouldn't have said that.
 

corrector

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That's what it means. If you were seriously fvck able she wouldn't have said that.
You were trying to make a point? Now everyone should just concede that I am incel including @RickTheToad. Stop this bs about self improvement. Finally someone gets it!
 
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