Action steps for shy guy

[spark]

Hey yall, I'm new here. This is my first post.
Here's my situation: 19 years old attending a national university. I've been reading PUA material for about 2 years now because I've been struggling with shyness ever since middle school and thus I didn't have much experience with women up until senior year in high school. When I started reading, it helped tremendously in just getting me out of my shell. Then I started applying some ****y funny material (which totally didn't fit my personality at the time) and started having limited success with women. So far I've only gotten the opportunity to go out with girls that I didn't find particularity attractive but were waaayyy into me. This is pathetic, I know, but for a shy guy like me just getting a couple average looking girls to find me interesting enough to explicitly ask me out on dates and invite me to sleepover is a big improvement from where I used to be.

Anyway I think the reason I haven't improved as much as I should have is because I always feel like I don't have enough information. I have pages and pages of notes I've taken down from PUA material, but little results to show for it. When I have a golden opportunity with a girl I got so much stuff going through my mind that I always mess up. So what can I do to reach the next level? What kind of challenges can I undertake to grow?

 

[Interceptor]

In order to feel comfortable with yourself and in talking to women, you need to put yourself in that position more often.
Meaning, you need to have more experiences interacting with women, any women.
You learn body language, tonality, eye contact, nd learn how to build comfort and rapport with a woman. Do this enough and you become much less self awre, and simply just enjoy the conversation and interaction with the woman.

 

[Dongfu]

You cant really study this stuff. It's a natural progression that comes with experience in the field and age.

 

[spark]

thanks for the advise guys. I read personal development blogs regularly and I found a good article on Brian Kim's site reiterating and expanding on what you guys were saying.

http://briankim.net/blog/2007/09/how-to-get-over-the-fear-of-approaching-people/

the main thing I struggle with right now is not the approach but, what I say after the approach. this is why it is harder for me to approach multiple sets.

anyway here is the part that I'm focused on:

"You’re in, but now the fear of awkward pauses in conversation starts to settle in. What to do now?
You know the answer to this by now.
Every person’s favorite subject in the world to talk about is themselves.
People fear rejection about the approach because their head is not in the right place. Their head is centered on whether or not they think the other person thinks they’re weird, abnormal, or is judging them.
Their head should be focused on the other person.
It takes the pressure off, because as you know, people love to talk about themselves. It’s their favorite subject in the world and their attention will shift to their own thoughts and words."

I find this to be true with almost all of the good relationships that I have. When I want to talk to someone freely and effectively, the last thing I want to do is be absorbed in the thoughts in my head. This works well in theory but when I apply it to meeting new people, I usually end up talking about boring ass stuff: Where are you from? What major are you? What is your favorite class? blah blah blah..

These are all topics that focus on the other but there's no attraction being built. Plus I get bored as hell.

So what can I say after I'm in set that would focus the topic on her and build attraction at the same time?

 

[spark]

I think I found what I needed by looking through the threads

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=13080

I'll update my progress next week to keep myself in check. word.