"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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Action! (Not Inspiration)

thefonz

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Just take action.

EVERYBODY has potential. There should be better writers than J.K Rowling. There should better fighters than Anderson Silva. There should be better swimmers than Michael Phelps. But those people don’t exist quite simply because they have not taken action followed through on that potential.

Is this hard for you? This is a post about that. I’m going to give you some plain and simple advice on getting started when you are stuck in planning mode.

You see a cute girl at the bar over there and you want to go talk to her. Pick up your drink, move your left leg forward, now your right and beginning to walk towards her….don’t stop. Walk through the crowd, politely excuse people to move aside for you, get her attention. Make her face you and say “Hi”. Good, run with the momentum now.

You’re in a ****ty job you don’t like and want to find another one? Close out your facebook browser, open up a new one, type in “Monster.com”….don’t stop….type in your account information. If you don’t have one click “Register Now”….keep going…type in your name, address, employment history. Check your phone to look up the contacts necessary. Type all that in and hit “apply now”. Now go to craigslist, jobs.com, and do the same thing. You are one step closer.

You’ve been talking about taking up Martial Arts now forever but haven’t done it yet? Close out your facebook browser, open up google, type in “Ju jitsu classes” and….don’t stop now!!! Find the one nearest you. Get the phone #. Pick up your phone and dial the number with your fingers. Hit send. When the person on the other line picks up the phone say, “Hi,I was wondering if I could come down and sit in for one of your classes?” If they say yes, set up an appointment to go into the class. If not hang up the phone, look for another number. Set up an appointment and show up. You are on the road to learning Ju jitsu.

Trying to lose weight? Get in the car and start the ignition. Drive over to your gym. Get out the car close the door and walk into it. Ignore the people looking at you. Go into the locker room and change into gym clothes. Walk up to the mat and start stretching your leg and back muscles. Notice the uncomfortable feeling in your muscles and hold it for a few seconds. Drink water to loosen up. Breathe a little heavier if you need to. Walk over to the treadmill and start running. You now have momentum. You are one step closer.

Tomorrow is another day. Having followed these steps and taken action, it will be easier to take action again tomorrow. Had you not done these and given in to the resistance you would have been TWICE as likely to continue doing nothing tomorrow. Don’t go looking for inspiration. Just start going towards what you want and inspiration will find you. It truly is inevitable…

“I only [work] when I am inspired. Fortunately for me, inspiration strikes every morning at 9 o’clock”

–Somerset Maughham
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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twentee

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DECENT martial arts classes cost at least $20 an hour, and even if you are young and fit, it's going to take you over 200 hours to get good enough to matter any. So in a sense, it's not just a question of "will power". It's often a question of learning to do without, or have an extra income of some sort. But you are right, it CAN be done. You just have to prioritize
 

Alvafe

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for martial arts(anything really) you can practice alone you know, most of time you don't need to the fancy equipment to train, just will, I train most of time now alone punching and kicking the air or against the wall, just to keep my basic on combat, then I let the rest get in shape in the gym.

but the thing is everything you want to do will require you have the will to move for it, if you are lazy any kind of "problem" will make you stop, I know this because i'm pretty much doing that for a long time, like meh don't want to know her, hse is too pretty and should be possible a pain, or going out today? nah better I stay at home and save the money. and so on, i'm changing that now trying to move more.

thing his OP is right on that you need to act more and think less, and funny its what most martial arts master say, you don't think how you will hit or make the move, you just go and do it
 

goundra

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need LOTS of sparring, man. gotta learn what it's like to hit and be hit, and all the nuances of distance, angle, focus, fakes, moving with the hit, or turning slightly. Man, in Korea we had NO pads,not even a nut cup. My legs would be all knots and bruises. every day when I got up, I'd have to do squats and jumping jacks to get the blood flowing and reduce the pain. Until you gain enough skill to block with your palms, without jamming your fingers, you use forearms to block, and man, that HURTS you shins when a guy blocks your kicks like that :)
 

Bible_Belt

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The problem with trying to learn on your own is that you'll tend to pick up bad habits in form that are hard to un-learn. Quality instruction is hard to find, especially if you don't live near a major or at least mid-size city. Quality sparring partners are also not that easy to come across, either. You want someone who is talented enough to be able to teach you something but at the same time smart enough to not beat the crap out of you just because they can. If you are lucky enough to live near a top school, go and get your one free lesson that they usually offer.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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twentee

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I don't see what that would do for anyone? They either know that they need to train, or they sure as hell dont want to FIND OUT how helpless that they truly are. :). My instructor said"I watch lots GI's fight, same like BABY.".
 

Fatal Jay

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There are better writers,muscians, actors etc. but the system we live in doesn't let just anyone in no matter how talented they are. It is a very evil presence in Hollywood and if you not down to sell your soul and do anything and everything in it, you will not be known for your talent.

I know a guy who almost made it in his rock band, dude was so much talented, but he said the higher up he went, the more evil things he witnessed.
 

thefonz

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I typed this for myself. I wanted to try it out on a public forum to see if it might help others who are struggling with procrastination or inaction.

OBVIOUSLY it takes more than showing up to 1 martial arts class to get good at it (I'm not sure why that was the focus). It takes years and years and years of dedication.

I suppose I should have called out my audience better. This was for people who can't get started or are waiting for "the right time" to start doing things they want/need to be doing. The awful feeling in your stomach that comes up when you think about having tried before and so you don't try again.

I guess the point is to look at being inspired differently. You can't think your way out of anxiety and you can't plan your way into creating habits. You need action and movement.

I believe I had the right idea, I'm just not translating what i want to communicate very well.
 

Fatal Jay

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You got to have drive and most of all the money to achieve your dreams, thatd just the real deal. If you don't have money then work at a job or find sponsers/investers.
 

Alvafe

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thefonz said:
I typed this for myself. I wanted to try it out on a public forum to see if it might help others who are struggling with procrastination or inaction.

OBVIOUSLY it takes more than showing up to 1 martial arts class to get good at it (I'm not sure why that was the focus). It takes years and years and years of dedication.

I suppose I should have called out my audience better. This was for people who can't get started or are waiting for "the right time" to start doing things they want/need to be doing. The awful feeling in your stomach that comes up when you think about having tried before and so you don't try again.

I guess the point is to look at being inspired differently. You can't think your way out of anxiety and you can't plan your way into creating habits. You need action and movement.

I believe I had the right idea, I'm just not translating what i want to communicate very well.
yes I know, i'm telling you this because you bring the analogy over, and i'm saying if you want to do you just go and do it, course having help goes a long way but most of time you don't have anyone to have help with, also for martial arts I can do it alone because i'm not new, did several kinds of martial arts over the years, and some movements I do I know pretty well its useless on combat.

but right now i know the feeling you are saying the strange feeling on your stomach, when you are doing i'm feeling that a lot lately becasue of one girl i'm talking with, and I find that funny becasue I did skydiving, did fighting and never feel like that but when I go talk with her I feel it, was also something I would not do before if I was feeling that I would let it go because really I don't know why, I would just let it go.

TL : DR

yes you are right you should act more, do what you fell like doing, and don't stop just because you started to feel afraid
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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