Achieving Happiness..avoiding depression

[vlf445]

Im young, but I've had a hell of a great life. Starting with great loving parents, lots of friends, and LOTS of opportunities, I consider myself extremely privileged. Yet, I can't escape this feeling, it's been there my entire life. I think its depression, spurred by heavy anxiety. But when I had it earlier, I was placing my happiness on women. Now that I'm past that, having realized I gained no lasting feeling of fulfillment after getting chicks, I have no idea what this feeling is anymore or why it's even there.

I need to move on, make progress, and escape this damn shadow that feels like its following me everywhere. But I don't know how to start. I don't even know what I want anymore other than to be happy. Seriously, I just don't get it, I have everything I could ever want in my life right now...how could I still be so down, even when I'm actively trying to be positive. The best way I can describe what I'm feeling is : "....ok, now what? I;ve been so privileged and fortunate for all my life, I have everything I need...so What's it all for???"

sorry if I'm rambling, I just can't take this anymore.

 

[TheWayOfAllFlesh]

Im sorry I cant help but I would like an answer as I consider myself in a similar position

I'm top of my class at the moment for media production and have repeatedly been told I have a strong career ahead of me, the only person in my social circle with a full family at home and great mates

But I ignore all that and focus my happiness on my lack of experience with the opposite sex. Im 18

 

[everywomanshero]

If what you're experiencing is an anxiety disorder or depression, an MD or mental health professional can diagnose and prescribe treatment. Both medication (often an SSRI) and cognitive behavior therapy have proven effective in the treatment of a variety of such conditions. I routinely see poor mental health as a variable associated with a lack of relational experience. The irony is the people suffering from these conditions often want to focus on success with women and deal with their poor mental health later, when fixing the later would correct the former.

Few things chase away women as effectively as a man in an emotional funk.

 

[dj0014]

Hey DJs,

Here is my piece of advice.
You have to challenge yourself in new ways.
Learn a new language. Teach somebody something new.
Share your experience. Meditate. Swim.
Start learning/playing guitar.

You're bored because you have stopped trying new things.

Good luck,
dj0014

 

[1337]

Sounds like your mind is craving more and more. Try meditating or looking for new challenges. You and I both know if u got everything in this world you would still be depressed. So just sit back and meditate.

 

[It's-Me]

Im young, but I've had a hell of a great life. Starting with great loving parents, lots of friends, and LOTS of opportunities, I consider myself extremely privileged. Yet, I can't escape this feeling, it's been there my entire life. I think its depression, spurred by heavy anxiety. But when I had it earlier, I was placing my happiness on women. Now that I'm past that, having realized I gained no lasting feeling of fulfillment after getting chicks, I have no idea what this feeling is anymore or why it's even there.

I need to move on, make progress, and escape this damn shadow that feels like its following me everywhere. But I don't know how to start. I don't even know what I want anymore other than to be happy. Seriously, I just don't get it, I have everything I could ever want in my life right now...how could I still be so down, even when I'm actively trying to be positive. The best way I can describe what I'm feeling is : "....ok, now what? I;ve been so privileged and fortunate for all my life, I have everything I need...so What's it all for???"

sorry if I'm rambling, I just can't take this anymore.

I'm still a teenager but I can relate to that feeling.

What's it all for you ask? I think it's so you can grow, learn, become a better person, succeed and ultimately be happy. Your parents gave you those opportunities because they wanted you to be happy in life. Your clearly don't have everything you need because you still feel sad. Remember, money doesn't buy happiness. Sure you need money and it will make you a bit happier, but you be truly happy.

You can't place your happiness on anything but yourself. You have to do what you want in life - in other words, you have to succeed in life. Find a passion, find something you enjoy spending your time on, hang out out with the people you want. Don't be afraid to try things, make mistakes, learn and grow! You have to enjoy the little things in life and enjoy yourself.

Just my 2 cents.

 

[Tekniq]

Im young, but I've had a hell of a great life. Starting with great loving parents, lots of friends, and LOTS of opportunities, I consider myself extremely privileged.

Lucky. It's people that have had stuff handed to them the most that seem to have the problems with depression. Me personally I've avoided it because I always had something to strive for and always knew that there was something better, while simultaneously envying people like you. Its ok though, you haven't done any wrong so don't think you are anything short of a great person. Put yourself into the shoes of someone less fortunate and think about what they lack the most. Pretend you have nothing of what you just listed and work to get something even better than all of it. Personally i know you can. What is it for? It isn't for anything but yourself... learn to constantly seek something deeper and better and you will never be depressed. Complacency was your downfall but show it why you won't tolerate it anymore!

 

[omkara]

hey... I think this is a common thing for people to go through in their late teens and early 20s, when they are trying to construct some kind of meaning out of their lives.

I agree that it's hard to appreciate what you haven't worked for. That doesn't mean there's anything wrong with coming from a more privileged background. There's still plenty to work for, you just have to find what it is for you.

I am from a middle class, suburban, white collar background, and I felt much the same as you when I was about 18. I had a pretty girlfriend (the best-looking one I've ever had), cool friends, doing well in school, playing music and stuff. I look back at that as one of the best periods of my life. But at the time there was still an emptiness at the core of it all. It was all external. It didn't bring me happiness.

Then I decided to go to India and live in ashrams and stuff, to learn about the spiritual side of things. I stayed there for about 5 years, long enough to fit in to that community and lose touch with my own culture. Then when I came back I was so out of touch that I had lost everything socially. I have been scraping and clawing my way back ever since.

I can say that I definitely appreciate everything that comes to me now, in terms of women and career. I used to take it all for granted. I have found my sense of meaning and perspective, and now I need to join that with having some kind of success and status... because I don't want to be a nothing, a nobody. I have too much talent not to do something with it. I have tried going down that route and I ended up resenting other people because I knew I had just as much ability as other people who reaped the rewards of life.

If I were in your position I would focus on building a career. That could give you a sense of fulfillment, and it will help you out later. You may very well find something that you enjoy doing, and gives meaning to your life. But also don't neglect the finer things like philosophy, music, snowboarding, or whatever you are in to. Because people who focus only on career often become boring and are not well rounded people. It becomes obvious when the leave the work sphere and you try to have a conversation with them. Anyway, good luck to you. I think if you keep going you will find something that is meaningful for you.

 

[Tr9n]

I've found that self-delusion works well for staving off depression. You have to trick yourself into thinking you are in complete or near complete control of what happens to you. Good things happen because you made them happen, and are likely to last. Bad things happen because you got unlucky, or it was somebody else's fault. Bad things are likely to go away soon though, and they just prove you got unlucky/are surrounded by incompetent people. This stuff isn't necessarily true, but if you can make yourself believe it you will become happier and more ambitious.