"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Accountability log

[S]alvatore

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Right, so I've decided to start a log. Reason being, if I have to report my workouts, it will give me a bit of accountability and some incentive not to slack off. I've been very inconsistant the last year, mostly due to medical issues, depression and just lack of motivation in general.

History:

Started training when I was 18, I was 90kg at 5'7" with no muscle mass (Most Italian foods are high in fat + carbohydrates: pasta, salami, cheese, lots of oil added to just about every dish).


Got down to about 75kg with a basic beginner machine routine (As given by a fitness instructor). Wanted to bulk up a bit more, wasted a year doing a low volume hit a bodypart once a week bullsh1t routine. Fat bulked up to 88kg with minimal muscle gains.

Got tired of being fat so dieted down by doing weights 3 times per week and 2-3 HIIT sessions per week. At my leanest I was 72kg with 10% bodyfat, the first time I had abs in my life.

In August 2009 I came down with Transverse Myelitis http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transverse_myelitis

I had a virus for a week, and just as I had recovered from it, I became paralysed from the waist down in the space of 3 hours. Couldn't stand, urinate/pass stool or feel anything in my legs (except intense burning, man that was a fun day). I was in hospital for a week where they treated me with immunoglobulin (similar to a blood transfusion) to calm my immune system down. Was also catheterised http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Urinary_catheterization Went to rehab for 1.5 months, had to relearn how to walk again.


Got back home, endurance in my legs was really poor (Couldn't walk further than 1km or so until I had to rest). The worst symptom though was the fatigue, it just crushed me all day, everyday. My bodyweight got down to 62kg. My days consisted of sitting on the Playstation for 10+ hours. Came down with depression last year (Unable to sleep even after 2-3 days of no sleep, anxiety, no appetite etc). Got medicated, and decided to make a massive change to get out of this hole.

The first steps I took were:
- Traded in ALL my PS3 games (100+ games)
- Started training again. I have a power rack, barbell, dumbbells, kettlebells, benches and chin/dip station at home.
-Training was difficult and very demotivating. I struggled to deadlift 60kg, bench 30kg, overhead press just the bar (20kg) and squat 50kg.


Fast forward to this year. My bodyweight is back up to 85kg (Bodyfat is around 15-16%, a bit high for my liking). My lifts have improved a little bit:

January 2013 1RM's (estimated)
Squat - 80kg
Bench - 70kg
Deadlift - 100kg
OH Press - 40kg

October 2013 1RM's
Squat - 120kg
Bench - 90kg
Deadlift - 150kg
OH Press - 60kg

I probably could have made more progress if I was consistent. I would go hard for 2 weeks, lose motivation/depression would start to come back and I wouldn't train for 2-3 weeks. Since I got sick, my recovery isn't what it used to be. I'm probably about 80% of what I used to be, some days less. I guess I will just have to settle for slower progress than everyone else. Unfortunately once you have had a nervous system disorder, you never get back to normal.
 
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“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

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[S]alvatore

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The routine that I'm going to follow is the Jason Blaha/Ice Cream Fitness Novice routine. Which is:

Workout A
Squat 5x5
BB Flat Bench 5x5
Bent Over Row 5x5
Barbell Shrugs 3x8
Skullcrushers 3x8
Straight Bar Curls 3x8
Goodmornings 2x10
Decline crunches 3x10

Workout B
Squat 5x5
Deadlift 1x5
Standing Press 5x5
Bent Over Row (10% lighter than Workout A) 5x 5
Close Grip Bench Press 3x8
Straight Bar Curls 3x8
Decline crunches 3x10

Week One
Day 1 - Workout A
Day 2 - Rest
Day 3 - Workout B
Day 4 - Rest
Day 5 - Workout A
Days 6 & 7 - Rest

Week Two
Day 1 - Workout B
Day 2 - Rest
Day 3 - Workout A
Day 4 - Rest
Day 5 - Workout B
Days 6 & 7 - Rest

The 5x5 is sets across.
Eg. Bench 60kg x 5, 5, 5, 5, 5
*All reps were made, so increase to 62kg next session.

If I miss a weight for 2 sessions in a row:
Eg.
Bench 65kg x 5, 5, 4, 4, 3
Bench 65kg x 5, 5, 5, 4, 3

You reduce it by 10%, and build back up.
 

[S]alvatore

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Before you start this routine you need to find your 1RM's. Mine were:

Squat - 120kg
Bench - 90kg
Deadlift - 150kg Estimated (Haven't done regular deadlifts for a while, just Romanian Deadlifts with 140kgs for reps)
Overhead BB Press - 60kg


Your first session, you start at 75% on your 1RM, which will feel light. If you start off too heavy you will stall quickly. Once you get all 5 reps for 5 sets, you increase the weight by 2.5kgs/5lbs. Smaller increments for triceps/ biceps.

I don't have my log with me, but off the top of my head yesterdays session was:

Workout A
Squat 82kg x 5, 5, 5, 5, 5
Bench 67kg x 5, 5, 5, 5, 5
Bent Over Row 65kg x 5, 5, 5, 5, 5
Shrugs 60kg x 8, 8, 8
Skullcrushers 20kg x 8, 8, 8
BB Curl 20kg x 8, 8, 8
Good morning 20kg x 10, 10
Decline crunches +29kg x 10, 10, 10

I enjoyed the session. Using some lighter weights to give my body a break and to tighten up my form a little bit. I haven't done shrugs or skullcrushers before. To be honest it's not appealing having no neck, but I don't think they will develop that much if I stay natural.

Skullcrushers done properly with shoulder extension will develop the long head of the tricep, something which alot of people neglect and aren't even aware of (Myself included). You need to get a nice stretch at the bottom of it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7QUzxllAB7c

Watch from 2:04

I'll try to get some photos up, but I'm feeling a bit fat at the moment.

My short term goals are:

Squat 140kg x 1
Bench 100kg x 1
Deadlift 180kg x 1
OH Press 80kg x 1


Long term: (If I stay at 85kg)
Squat 170kg x 1
Squat 127kg x 20
Bench press 127kg x 1
Bench press 85kg x 10
Deadlift 212kg x 1
Standing strict military press 85kg x 1
Clean & push press 85kg x 5
Dead hang wide grip chin ups x 15
Powerclean 102kg x 1

Tomorrow is Workout B, will report back.
 
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Purefilth

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Good to see another lad joining the ranks here. We'll be watching. ;)

5x5 is strength training, its not designed to make you bigger i.e.build muscle mass, just stronger - so dense muscle.
just food for thought. :)
 

[S]alvatore

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Thanks man. How's your cycle going?

Yeah I know that 5x5 isn't optimal for hypertrophy, but If you compared this to Starting Strength, the volume is there for some growth. It just falls into the optimal "40-60 reps twice per week" for hypertrophy.

I'll stick with this for 6 months or so until I get my lifts up to a respectable level, then I'll probably switch to a bodybuilding/hypertrophy routine. Maybe something like Layne Nortons PHAT or Lyle Mcdonalds Generic Bulking routine.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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switch

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hahahahaha your story sounds a lot like my one. i even got the same depression crap.

as for me i had a pretty bad injury in the spine. i still have some abnormal sensation in my left thigh as well.


about the depression part i have to say that it will come back.its like meth.once you get depression,your body is bound to get it again.
its like an effing cycle. happy > depressed > angry > happy etc..

this happens to guys who were usually made to stay at home for a medical issue. i suffer from it as well.

IMO the PS3 move, was not a good idea.if you start playing again you'll be able to fend depression off.

i tried sex but meh,didnt work for me since i find sex to be boring as hell, i feel like im doing a chore.fapping makes it worse. flirting with girls doesnt have any effect, blojobs are useless too. weed ? nah also useless.

but a PS3 , now that works like magic, as in willy wonka magic.use that box to get rid of the "cycles".
 

[S]alvatore

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Yeah injuries and illnesses suck a$$. To be honest, I was ready to go back to work straight away, but everyone told me that I couldn't do it and needed to rest. It must have gotten stuck in my mind, because for 2 years my life was the PS3, morning to night.

I've read that once you get depression, even if treated well and it goes into remission, most people still get another 2-3 episodes in their lifetime.

I got rid of all my games because my life revolved around it AND I wasn't getting any enjoyment out of it either. I really wish that I could get enjoyment out of playing COD with my friends, but it no longer does anything for me. Without the games, it actually forced me to get out of the house and talk to people, which has made me feel 50% better. If I haven't gone out for a few days, I notice a huge difference in my mood. People aren't supposed to be isolated.


Sex drive/libido is one of the first things to go out the window with depression, and unfortunately, one of the last things to come back. But all activities that you used to enjoy are meaningless, it is one of the most common presenting symptoms.

What you're feeling is completely normal (for our situation) the best thing you can do is keep plugging away. Keep training, keep socialising with friends/girls, maintain your hobbies. Get enough sunlight each day, or if you live in a colder area, supplement with vitamin D. Also get 6-10g (Usually 1g per capsule, so 6-10 caps per day) of fish oil per day if you aren't eating fatty fish.


Keep at it switch. As long as you keep doing stuff, the depression will bewcome less severe, and given enough time, should go away completely. Are you currently taking any medication for it?
 

switch

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my shrink gave me some pills but im not taking them. i just deal with it till it goes or play videogames to make me forget about it.i tried sex but its not effective.
 

[S]alvatore

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Social_Leper said:
Do you not find that going to the gym helps stave off depression?

And slow, consistent progress is definitely the way to go. Keep it up.
Once I start a training session, I can get through it and feel good after. The whole problem is actually starting. Most days, you don't want to do anything.

From experience if you try to progress too quickly, your body won't allow it.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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[S]alvatore

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Almost didn't train tonight, but willed myself into doing it.

Bodyweight: 85kg

Squat 85kg x 5, 5, 5, 5, 5
Deadlift 100kg x 5
OH Press 42kg x 5, 5, 5, 5, 5
BOR (Bent over row) 60kg x 5, 5, 5, 5, 5
Close grip bench 40kg x 8 45kg x 8, 8
BB Curl 22kg x 8, 8, 8
Decline crunches 5kg plate x 10, 10, 10


Haven't done regular deadlifts for almost a year, 100kg was pretty easy, just tried to get the form down. Will probably need to get a form check done by someone though. My lumbar spine stays neutral automatically, but not sure if my shoulders were too far over the bar.

With the crunches, I put 2 boxes under my flat bench to create the decline. I have an adjustable incline/decline bench, but when you lie down to do crunches, you need to hyper extend your back to get in position which is very uncomfortable and risky. I also held the plate behind my head to make it more difficult, which it was.

Here are some photos of my setup:

Rack with chin up bar & dip attachment


Adjustable dumbbells, 5kg to 40kg


Adjustable bench & flat bench


Kettlebells which range from 4kg (the yellow ones) to 80kg (That big bugger on the far left). I think there's pairs of 4kg, 6kg, 8kg, 12kg, 16kg, 24kg & 32kg. Then just single KB's of 40kg, 46kg, 56kg, 64kg and 80kg.


Weight tree & plates. I've got 215kg worth of plates which are: 4x25kg, 4x20kg, 2x10kg, 2x5kg, 2x2.5kg, 2x1.25kg. The small coloured ones are pairs of: .25kg, .50kg, .75kg & 1kg. I'm hoping that I'll need to buy more 20/25kg plates really soon.


Fat grips, ab roller/wheel, dipping/chinning belt & resistance bands for chin ups. A few family members also train, so I bought the bands to assist them until they can do bodyweight chins.


I'm going to try and do some conditioning work tomorrow, because mine is poor.
 

[S]alvatore

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Internet was down for a day, hence the radio silence.

Squat 87kg x 5, 5, 5, 5, 5
Bench 70kg x 5, 5, 5, 5, 5
BB Row 67kg x 5, 5, 5, 5, 5
Shrug 70kg x 8, 8, 8
Skullcrusher 25kg x 8, 8, 8
Curls 25kg x 8, 8, 8
Hyperextension BW x 10, 10
Decline crunches 9kg x 10, 10, 10

Workout was good, everything still feels pretty light, but I probably won't be saying that in a months time.

I really felt the skullcrushers hitting the long head of my tricep. I can't believe that I neglected it for so long, I thought my triceps were one of my strong points.

I managed to do some hyperextensions by putting 2 boxes underneath the flat bench (to get more depth), and hooking my legs around the bench so I didn't topple over head first. Had a good pump in my lower back after doing them.
 

Krueg

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Lookin good, wish I had a home gym!
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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[S]alvatore

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Bodyweight: 86kg

Squat 90kg x 5, 5, 5, 5, 5
Deadlift 105kg x 5
OH Press 45kg x 5, 5, 5, 5, 5
BOR (Bent over row) 62kg x 5, 5, 5, 5, 5
Close grip bench 50kg x 8, 8, 8
BB Curl 25kg x 8, 8, 8
Decline crunches 7kg x 10, 10, 10

Everything's still pretty light. Probably could've gone 110kg on deadlifts, but content with slower progression.
 

[S]alvatore

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Squat 92kg x 5, 5, 5, 5, 5
Bench 72kg x 5, 5, 5, 5, 5
BB Row 70kg x 5, 5, 5, 5, 5
Shrug 90kg x 8, 8, 8
Skullcrusher 30kg x 8, 8, 8
Curls 27kg x 8, 8, 8
Hyperextension 10kg x 10, 10
Decline crunches 13kg x 10, 10, 10


Trained with my uncle, gave me a bit more motivation to push hard.


Dinner will be 1kg of roasted potatoes, 500g of cottage cheese with a jar of corn chip salsa for taste.
 

[S]alvatore

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Did some conditioning/GPP work yesterday.

Thruster 8kg KB in each hand 10 reps x 4 sets
Cannonball 16kg KB 10x4
Swing 16kg KB 10x4

Thusters are a squat followed by an overhead press at the top: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gpB9AsEZLM4
Cannonballs are essentially an upright row from the ground.
Swing is a hip hinge: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q0jalJ-3e7U


All exercises are done without rest, took me 7 minutes.

Bodyweight: 86kg

Squat 95kg x 5, 5, 5, 5, 5
Deadlift 110kg x 5
OH Press 47.5kg x 5, 5, 5, 3 45kg x 3
BOR (Bent over row) 62kg x 5, 5, 5, 5, 5
Close grip bench 50kg x 8 60kg x 8, 8
BB Curl *Didn't do curls. Tendon on my left side is hurting like hell, probably increased the weight too quickly.
Crunches 13kg x 10, 10, 10
 

[S]alvatore

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Squat 97kg x 5, 5, 5, 5, 5
Bench 75kg x 5, 5, 5, 5, 5 110kg x 1
BB Row 80kg x 5, 5, 5, 5, 5
Shrug 110kg x 8, 8, 8
Skullcrusher 35kg x 8, 8, 8
Curls *Didn't do
Hyperextension 10kg x 10, 10
Decline crunches 15kg x 10, 10, 10

Because my uncle knows how to train, he suggested I try 110kg for bench press. I got 1 rep by myself, then half a rep. Tendon on left side is still in agony, so I skipped curls again. I've got a 2 day break, so hopefully it heals up in time for next session.
 

Krueg

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Nice work!

Do you use a mixed grip while deadlifting? Just wondering cause of your left arm causing you grief...
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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