Accepting the Defeat and trying to be friend (real one) with oneitis, help!

[Cassify]

So it's been 2 years since i met my oneitis...
i passed through the process of trying to be a "real man" with fairly "sucess".
but now she showed up in my life again and since all the bull**** i passed through was my fault and she is a decent person, i'm trying to make a decent friendship (not hoping anything, just trying to be a friend.

The problem is...sometimes she call me to ask things like "how you're doing?!", "how is your life going?!" just to make contact.

And we have a decent conversation with nothing going on from both sides...

But sometimes i remember the stuff i passed through "because of her", and a feeling of hatred, pride, rage i don't know what it is, takes over me...and i really want to treat her bad because of that...

Long story short...i'm trying to be friends with her but sometimes i feel i just can't...

And i want you guys advice, should i erase her from my life or make the friendship work!?

pls answer

 

[TillTheEndOfTime]

Those feelings you have will never go away. You can't be friends. Sorry. Ditch her completely. You will go insane if you don't.

You think you're "over" her, but you're not. Been there done that, it never ends well.

You will fight and hate each other sooner or later. Break it off before you hate each other.

 

[JohnChops]

It really does never work. I tried doing this and the feeling just came right back. Ended up fighting all the time. It just had to end. Oneitis never ends well. You have to forget her and just move on. Thats easier said than done but seriously if you keep seeing her you will just be reminded of those feelings you had for her. Your situation sounds exactly like mine was... .two years, yeah I was in that boat.

It sucks.

I work with my oneitis and im good friends with her brother so theres always opportunity to run into her unfortunately. Sh1t man I was about to quit my job and not hang out with one of my good friends because of her just to forget about her! Then I got realistic and grew a pair of bal;s, got hobbies, hit the books and the weights and now im just pressing forward.

I still think about her from time to time, more so lately for some reason. But you just can't speak to her. Ever . Again. Seriously. Don't do it. Good Luck man!

 

[Uncharted]

Everything above is spot on. You need to drop her because you will ALWAYS think about your feelings.

 

[fuko2007]

yeh man..im in the same spot right now. Been seeing this girl for 2 years and we seem to get in fights alot. We had on a few days ago and things have not been the same. She has grown cold a distant. a few people told me she is going through the detachment phase. But i have the feelings of what is she doing? is she with somebody else? then i get that knot in my gut and start to wonder. Then comes the pain and rage then back to square one.

Everyone told me to drop this girl and i did for a little while but she somehow seems to always come waltzing back into my life later. I was over her a little bit when she came back in last time should have kept her away but didnt. Now im back where you are. The best thing i can say is try to find something to do during your spare time. Nights are the worst for me beacuse we slept in the same bed for so long. But ill tell you stay away man. Like these guys said above me oneitis never works out. I tried telling her that but she does not get it.

Maybe you should just tell her you still have feelings for her and are not in a place right now to be friends. Just look at it they way i do. If your friends and yall meet up at a bar or something what would you do if she left with a guy?