Accepting complements

[spukee]

I ride a bike everywhere, and when I come home I have to lug it up two flights of stairs to my apartment - no big deal, a bike isn't exactly heavy.

Yesterday there were two girls at the bottom of the stairs - one around 13-14 years old, and the other 16-17. Too young for me, so I didn't pay much attention to them. When I hoisted my bike up on my shoulder I saw the 16-17 year old girl give me this incredulous look, so I stop for a sec and give her a smile. "You're really strong!" she says. Hell, that caught me off-gaurd... I chuckled and replied "oh... well thanks," smiled again and headed up the stairs.

The whole thing got me to thinking... I can dish out some witty complements, and hide them in a conversation like a pro. But when it comes to taking complements I don't handle it very well... I get a little embarassed, and I never know what to say. They always sound insincere anyway - I'm not strong, and I'm not exceptionally good looking (I let my personality make up for my physical flaws).

So how do y'all go about accepting complements?

 

[flyinshark]

I guess girls find it "cute" when a guy is a bit embarassed by something (a compliment in this case).

I believe that becoming ****y or acting like u're used to compliments would not be a good way of reacting, so anything else is fine, i guess.

 

[TillTheEndOfTime]

Originally posted by spukee
I ride a bike everywhere, and when I come home I have to lug it up two flights of stairs to my apartment - no big deal, a bike isn't exactly heavy.

Yesterday there were two girls at the bottom of the stairs - one around 13-14 years old, and the other 16-17. Too young for me, so I didn't pay much attention to them. When I hoisted my bike up on my shoulder I saw the 16-17 year old girl give me this incredulous look, so I stop for a sec and give her a smile. "You're really strong!" she says. Hell, that caught me off-gaurd... I chuckled and replied "oh... well thanks," smiled again and headed up the stairs.

The whole thing got me to thinking... I can dish out some witty complements, and hide them in a conversation like a pro. But when it comes to taking complements I don't handle it very well... I get a little embarassed, and I never know what to say. They always sound insincere anyway - I'm not strong, and I'm not exceptionally good looking (I let my personality make up for my physical flaws).

So how do y'all go about accepting complements?

Taking compliments well all comes down to one thing: confidence.
If you can't take compliments well, then you're lacking deep down inside in the confidence department. That is the root of the problem.

If you were confident, you'd think to yourself that the compliment is true and that there is no need to be embarrassed. It seems to me just by reading your post that maybe you do have a confidence problem.

 

[spukee]

I don't know if it's really a confidence issue - if I have a lack of self-confidence I do a damn good job of hiding it. I just don't know what to say, even when people complement things I know I'm good at - humor, artwork, etc...

I respond better to sarcasm and wit than straight complements, which is probably why I'm hit with speechlessness. Still, knowing a better way to respond would be a good thing.

 

[spukee]

hmm... that double post was a mistake...

 

[TillTheEndOfTime]

Originally posted by spukee
I don't know if it's really a confidence issue - if I have a lack of self-confidence I do a damn good job of hiding it. I just don't know what to say, even when people complement things I know I'm good at - humor, artwork, etc...

I respond better to sarcasm and wit than straight complements, which is probably why I'm hit with speechlessness. Still, knowing a better way to respond would be a good thing.

Well think of it this way. A soldier is hard at work in training. He's doing all the drills, target practice, push-ups, etc. In fact, he's doing them all very well. He thinks he's ready. He's confident. He is all psyched up.

Then it happens. The call of duty. However when he gets out on the field in a real battle, he chokes. He's nervous, he's scared.

You may think you have all the confidence in the world, but the real test is when that confidence is questioned. A compliment is one way of questioning your confidence and like the young soldier you're choking. You have to acknowledge and accept this before you grow.

 

[KingBeef]

For us average guys, when we receive a compliment we pretty much get thrown out of wack (not so much we lack confidence), but because how often do women compliment men...it's RARE!!! EVEN MORE RARE FOR THE AVERAGE LOOKIN GUY!!!

It's the man's role to be aggressive, take initiative, and talk...but when they speak first, it's very uncommon

- Kingbeef

 

[naoi deag se deag]

Saying "thanks" instead of downplaying it or turning it into a negative - in other words, just accepting it and moving on - puts you ahead of 3/4 of all the men in the world, so there's nothing wrong with that. I am currently enjoying "Thank you, I do my best every day" with a jokingly sincere look.

 

[padrote]

- "you're strong"
- "i know"

I'd like to mention that being called funny is the kiss of death on my sense of humor. Once somebody calls me funny I become terribly unfunny.

 

[squirrels]

Originally posted by spukee
I ride a bike everywhere, and when I come home I have to lug it up two flights of stairs to my apartment - no big deal, a bike isn't exactly heavy.

Yesterday there were two girls at the bottom of the stairs - one around 13-14 years old, and the other 16-17. Too young for me, so I didn't pay much attention to them. When I hoisted my bike up on my shoulder I saw the 16-17 year old girl give me this incredulous look, so I stop for a sec and give her a smile. "You're really strong!" she says. Hell, that caught me off-gaurd... I chuckled and replied "oh... well thanks," smiled again and headed up the stairs.

The whole thing got me to thinking... I can dish out some witty complements, and hide them in a conversation like a pro. But when it comes to taking complements I don't handle it very well... I get a little embarassed, and I never know what to say. They always sound insincere anyway - I'm not strong, and I'm not exceptionally good looking (I let my personality make up for my physical flaws).

So how do y'all go about accepting complements?

The way my father taught me to...just say "Thank you."

Or in that situation, I may not even acknowledge the compliment...it was probably less intended as a sincere compliment and more as a social interjection to start a conversation. Or even as a flirting measure!!