"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Abstaining from Sex for Years in a predominantly HIV/AIDS environment

Frank2500

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It's not easy, folks. I've been abstaining from sex now for three and a half years. August of this year would make it four years...and that's primarily due to the red zone, extremely high risk environment I'm in here in this Central African nation. The HIV/AIDS rate is extremely high. There's thousands upon thousands of extremely beautiful and sexy women looking healthy but you just can't tell which of them is HIV positive. I'm in a transition phase hoping to move in about a year and several months to North America for another temporary job opportunity before eventually relocating back to the U.S. One of the requirements for getting residency there in North America is that you've got to take a couple of medical exams/tests and not test positive for any of them...and the HIV/AIDS test is one of them.



I often like to get checked up for my own personal health. In that respect I recently did the HIV/AIDS test and it came out negative. Now I'm facing a dilemma. I've been talking to/dating two women here on this end. I've never had sexual intercourse with either of them but it's gotten now to the stage where they're expecting me to do just that. Matter of fact, I was in bed with one of them last weekend but I deliberately chose not to bring any condoms along during our encounter so it will turn her off and I could persuade her to get tested before we even try anything. My plan succeeded and she's agreed to go get tested. I was able to persuade the other woman as well.



The problem is, for some reason I'm still so reluctant to have sex with either of them even with a condom on and even if their test results show negative to HIV/AIDS. I just don't feel comfortable in this red zone environment. And it's often said that the HIV/AIDS virus can be in a person's system for quite a while without he or she knowing it. That means some people could get tested and their results may show negative whereas they're actually positive, and their partner could then get infected.


I feel more inclined to continue with abstinence but I'm not gonna lie...for a man, abstaining for that long already isn't easy at all, and having to add perhaps another year and a half wouldn't be any easier either. Not to mention the inaccurate impression those women could have of me if I were to take them to bed and not engage in the act with them. However, my health comes first and I can't afford to fool around, perhaps get infected by either of them and in the end not be permitted to relocate out of the country because of my later test results. Any suggestions you guys may have would be very helpful but whew...honestly, abstaining from sex for years like I've been doing isn't easy at all. To protect myself I only engage in intensive foreplay with women here. Many times I even regret having talked to those women but in order to maintain my DJ skills and my game, I've got to keep talking to women.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Bible_Belt

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some people could get tested and their results may show negative whereas they're actually positive, and their partner could then get infected.

You could also get eaten by a lion or stomped to death by an elephant. Those things happen quite a bit.

If the woman isn't a prostitute or drug addict, and she tests clean, and you use a condom, at that point the odds are so small that you are more likely to get hit by lightning.
 

Frank2500

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Re:

I thank you guys so much for sharing with me your perspectives. Even if both of them test negative, there's one of them whom I absolutely wouldn't consider having sexual intercourse with because I'm getting the vibe she's trying to set me up so she could get pregnant by me. She got so pissed that I took her to a hotel so we could engage in foreplay there. She says I shouldn't take her to a hotel again. Here I live with family in my Dad's home and African tradition forbids a son from bringing a woman to his Dad's home unless it's a fiancee. She's looking for a serious relationship, while I'm not ready for that at this point in my life given the transition phase I'm in and the fact that I may have to start over an entirely new chapter within a year. She said to me: "You're going to introduce me to your Dad, right? What if we have sex and you get me pregnant? Are we gonna keep on hiding our relationship?" So this one clearly has a plan in mind that is different from mine.
 

HariPoter13

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LOL, you and your problems again. How many threads on this problem of yours have you already opened? Enough already, don't you think?
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Groovy

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She doesn't want to have sex with u before marriage then? She's a keeper man! That's great! It means she's a decent lady. :)
 

apocolipto

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HariPoter13 said:
LOL, you and your problems again. How many threads on this problem of yours have you already opened? Enough already, don't you think?
I think he has the right,doesn't he?You surely ask advice on your problems,don't you?

Anyway,dude,if they test negative use a condom,you'll be fine.
 
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