About women and who they find attractive

[Matt Rogers]

Here are a few things that real world observation, conversations with girls and putting together the pieces have made me realise.

1. Most girls would only date around five guys out of a hundred, whereas for the same group of girls of your age you would probably date at least 30-40 of them. This is because women have specific types. This is not necessarily to do with how handsome they are.

2. Most men could be in fairly close agreement about how attractive a girl is. Most women would have widely differing views. There is no universal 1 to 10 scale for men in women's eyes at least not one which applies across women.

3. Even though a man is handsome and viewed as such by a woman it does not mean she would want to sleep or get involved with him. However if a guy thinks a girl is pretty all other things being equal he would want to date and sleep with her.

4. Confidence and charm are two things that draw women like magnets regardless of their "types" Not unknown on this site but wanted to stress it and these two qualities are attainable

5. Men become better looking to women if they have good personalities.

Some of these apply to men as well, and obviously I am taking a somewhat sterotypical view of men as shallow and horny.

But the main message from this research is that if you don't think you are attractive or are not conventionally handsome then don't think that any woman is out of your league, as while it may mean that you are never going to regularly pull supermodels, there will be some 9s and 10s out there who think you are good looking and sexy.

Also don't take it personally or as a sign you are unattractive to women if you get rejected. Women are more picky than men! Fact. Even if they think you are drop dead gorgeous if you don't fit their type they won't date you.

 

[squirrels]

Originally posted by Matt Rogers
But the main message from this research is that if you don't think you are attractive or are not conventionally handsome then don't think that any woman is out of your league, as while it may mean that you are never going to regularly pull supermodels, there will be some 9s and 10s out there who think you are good looking and sexy.

Just out of curiosity, could you provide details and an example or two from your research?

 

[Matt Rogers]

Well, my research has consisted of chatting to lots of girls, observing couples, looking at who picks up who in nightclubs, listening to girls say who they think is hot etc.
I hang out with a lot of girls as friends so have developed some insight into the female mind.

I see quite a few odd couples all the time, where the man doesn't have looks, wealth or much of a personality, but the woman is stunning looking and says with a straight face that she finds her man handsome.

 

[AverageFC]

you might want to add "older men"

I've met so many women who will simply not date men unless they are older. Talk about shallow.

 

[tmpgstx]

Good post. Women pay more attention to attributes like nose, smile, eyes etc. Men pay attention more shape, and the overall theme.

Women can find an attribute they find irresistable or repulsive. For example, 'He has a great nose', or 'I could never stand to date him because of his nose'. I've actually heard this.

As long as you're not repulsive to her from sight alone, your chances are about as good as any. It takes spending time with her, but you might have those eyes or that smile that drives her crazy.

It's not so much what you say, but these attributes that come into play and how strongly they affect her one way or another. Personality is just another attribute. Personality can include saying something a certain way etc.

This is in part why most women are more picky then men. They can pick attribute and accentuate to the point it makes or breaks a potential dating scenario.

Our bioligical makeup is external. A woman's is internal. Because of it, i feel a woman's attraction has to have more internal mechinisms, such as looking beyond looks more. It has to be something with some staying power, and attributes have this.

Think of it like this, a woman has a set of variables by whch she (unconsiously) defines for a man. Some are constant variables, and others are dynamic or changing. Some are more important than other variables (global in scope), some are local in scope (restricted to a certain set of attributes). If enough variables are satisfied (or met), or less more important ones over-ride numerous local ones, then that person becomes attractive having those variables.

Life is a ****load variables, and i happen to be a Computer Scientist (can you tell?). Lol.

 

[Julius_Caesar]

Hey

I think that people really should take into account the setting that people are in.

For example, when I went to hawii a few summers ago, For one thing my acne cleared up, and for another girls practically aproached me. I mean, mostly, I think that my face does not have too much going for it, but I have been told I have a good "body." The point is, I would walk down the street near all the shops and girls would aproach me or say hi to me. It was really weird because at home this never happens. I actually got approached by a group of highschool grads, together for a vacation or something, it was a summer after my sophomore year. I thought that those girls looked like they would not give me the time of day at school but at the luao they were all over me.

This happened numerous times, but I realized after I got home, it was that all those girls had only let there attraction show. Usually they want the guy to make the first move, and then they will encourage. But at home, the girls feel more constrained by normality and convention so they loose their courage. Bascially it is much easier to pick-up tourists. This was a very incouraging experience. I almost hooked up with TWO girls but I wussed out because I was afraid. No sh!t I came here.

So if you want to really see if a chick is attracted to you, you gotta bust through that nice normality and convention most people live in. Why do you think girls go after bad boys?

 

[sfalexi]

The point is, I would walk down the street near all the shops and girls would aproach me or say hi to me. It was really weird because at home this never happens.

Don't automatically jump to a conclusion as to WHY they were much more willing to approach you. It might just be the culture in Hawaii to do this, and maybe not where you live.

I live in NJ. We are not social people. But on a trip to Virginia, I noticed that their culture was much different and they were more likely to say hi and start or join in a conversation.

Alexi

 

[Matt Rogers]

Another conclusion following from this post is the following:

As women are picky and you don't know who is going to find attractive it is imperative that

a) You get out there and meet lots of different types of women
b) You ask the number of every girl you are attracted to regardless of how "out of your league" you think they are
c) When you get rejected don't take it personally. Often It is not because you are ugly or unattractive but because you are not her type. Really!

 

[TheInfamousCBear]

Thats why you gotta learn about style and things like that...Dudes that are plain looking dont get looked at that much...You gotta find out what style works best for you and accessorize (sp?)...There isnt one style thats attractive to all girls, so you gotta pick something...

 

[arq-dj1]

yup... maybe u should start goin' for the ones who u know that like ppl like u...

however, if u have strong personality, neutral looks (i mean not ugly, both side of the face equal, no big nose, ears etc), and demonstrate confidence, being a MAN, u can get whoever u want...


of course, the ones who don't like your type, will be harder, but still its possible

 

[tmpgstx]

Some also like to chase and to be chased (or have to be chased because of being shy/coy etc.).

Identify what type of girl she is. Does she like a challenge? How would you determine this? Answer: If she is a girl that is really goal oriented, then she likes a challenge. If she is a fly-b- the seat-of-her-pants, doesn't care who she has been with last weekend, then no, just pop any pickup line and your chances are good.