About to turn 26, too late to remove stigma of virginity?

[SickTiredOfBeingSick]

My whole life has been the story of a confident, compassionate, alpha male chained down and made to play the really reluctant role of a timid/cynical/sarcastic beta male due to wrong life choices. I'm lucky I developed an interest in politics otherwise I would have multiple felonies instead of merely flunking out of college twice for non-academic reasons. I hate myself for letting violent and irrational parental abuse (though i've since forgiven and it mellowed out after about 16...any mistakes made raising me they didn't make raising my sister) and the subsequent target for bullies it made me shape my life for too long of stretches. I've fought against it many times and there have been more valleys than peaks, but my life since high school has exclusively been the story of me trying to prove to myself and to others that the timid loner was a temporary state of weakness and not who I truly am, and believe me there was a period of 2 years where I listened to well-meaning platonic girlfriends and "accepted" that as my true self till I realized it was fitting a square peg into a round hole, to use a cliche.

I realize and welcome the fact at this point that I'm going to have to work twice to three times hard to be the person I know I can truly be happy as and put away any resentments of people having it easier than me or taking emotional states I only wish I could have for granted. I have gradually worked myself and on myself up to the point where I have many of the superficial trappings of the person I want to be, yet I'm still a very incomplete fortress where one wrong move can totally expose me. My goals are quitting smoking (smoke-free for a month), porn, working out and being active for good instead of going full tilt for a month before stopping as has happened 5 or 6 times before, cut internet use to 2 hours a day max and then mostly for work or bettering myself, and basically network, *shudder using that word...brrrr*, overtime and always be meeting people (I'm not a shy or hesistant person socially in most instances despite being pathetic and trying to hide and block my past in my rearview mirror). Is there hope for me yet or is it yet more of the same, Sisyphus rolling that boulder up a hill and ****...

Will be gone for 5 hours or so after posting

 

[ChalengeGuyFan]

I realize and welcome the fact at this point that I'm going to have to work twice to three times hard to be the person I know I can truly be happy as and put away any resentments of people having it easier than me or taking emotional states I only wish I could have for granted. Is there hope for me yet or is it yet more of the same, Sisyphus rolling that boulder up a hill and ****...

This sounds painfully familiar.

 

[MisterD]

I think that we're all here for different reasons; whether it be that we're late bloomers, socially inept, shy, not confident in who we are, etc etc. But the theme remains the same, we're all here because we want to change who we are and better our lives. Not just improve our success with women, but grow into the man we never thought we'd be.

The fact that you've come here already means you're aware that you need to change certain aspects of your life in order to become the person you've always dreamed you could be. Knowing is half the battle. I commend you for your honesty and I understand fully where you're coming from. I dont think its ever too late to change as we always grow as human beings. Keep a positive mindset, believe you can change, and you will. Good luck.

 

[Mike32ct]

No, it's definitely not too late to lose it. It took me until 28.

 

[Leporello]

I think a lot of us have been there. Life is a work in progress..