About to confront a cheating girl

[search1ng]

If you must, just reply with a 'thanks' and be done with the whole situation. Bigger fish to fry out there.

 

[Slickster]

No you shouldn't respond, ...... but you will.

This girl has more power over you than you know.

She has disrespected you in the worst way and you still "give a sh!t".

Epic fail my friend.

Lots of work to do.....

Learn to control your emotions or you will forever be at the mercy of these women.

 

[Greasy Pig]

Haven't replied. I agree, neutrality and indifference are my two best weapons at this point.
We live in a fairly small town so it's inevitable that I'll run into her at some point. Just have to be "ho hum" and convince myself it's her loss. I'm getting there.

 

[origin138]

Ignore her with steely resolve. The more you talk to her, the more power you give her, and she has already demonstrated she will abuse it when given the opportunity.

Indifference is a ridiculously powerful place for you to be. Get there ASAP. And if you do run into her, treat her like any other stranger on the street and just pass her by. If she tries to make conversation, just tell her you've got stuff to do and have to go. Done and done.

 

[Johnnyventana]

You don't owe her jack. And acknowledging her reply is akin to forgiving her actions, in her book. Power then moves to her. Game over.

Since it is game over anyway, go out on top. Let her learn that actions have consequences. I agree with others here, she "owns" you a bit too much.

 

[loco2chon]

What I would do is ignore the fact that she's sucking someone elses d1ck and continue with this relationship just to get some pu$$y! xD

If she asks you "what are we" or anything like that then you can drop the bomb... This will fvck her up all kinds of ways... You have to be very very very un-emotionally attached though... You my friend are not. It might be too late now but that's they way I would have gone about.

Best of luck m8...

 

[5string]

UPDATE: She just sent a really apologetic text. Not seeking reconciliation but just trying to say sorry again and how it was a sh1t thing for her to do.

Everyone will say ignore it but would that show I am pissed off and fall in to her trap?
I somehow feel it would be more honourable or somehow "bigger" of me to reply with a simple one sentence acknowledgment of her contrition.

I sort of feel not replying would paint me as being petty and immature or something. But that replying with a simple "Thanks and I agree" would be sufficient.

Don't respond. The little hamster in her head will need therapy as it will go crazy. This is your best revenge and the other guys will agree.

It's fun to fvck with the hamsters.

 

[speed dawg]

Greasy Pig, you have made yourself out to be a chump, pal. She won, thanks to you.

First of all, you fell for this girl too quickly. Should have played it cool from the get-go, learned your lesson, pulled back your attention and let her come to you. At least then you may have gotten some pvssy out of it. Now, it just appears she played you for a fool and you get NOTHING.

Let's not be dumb here. SHE dumped YOU. I know you can verbally say otherwise but it was her that kicked you to the curb and and you validated it to her that she affected you. All respect gone, out the window, never to return.

You blew it. But learn from this, and don't fall in love so quickly next time.

 

[The_411]

"The only winning move is not to play"

We've all done it. We want to somehow control the situation and get the other person to learn a lesson and we come out looking like some sort of crusader.

Problem is... this is a narcisstic tactic. We're not god, allah, jehovah or whatever name you want to call your religious deity. We can't control other people and trying to do so is a waste of time and effort.

The better question is to ask yourself why do you want to get the last word?

You acted with respect towards her and she returned that respect with disrespect. Therefore she should not be entitled to any more of your time. She is to be pitied and mocked from a far and erased from you memory.

This is the reason why men are failing today. There is way too much respect shown towards people who act disrespectfully and too much interest in righting wrongs ratehr than doing the one thing that any man that men look up to would do.

Do you think Clint Eastwood would talk to this woman after her disrespect? Would Paul Newman tolerate that crap?

Suffice to say when someone severly disrespects you they should become invisible and non-existant to you. By engaging you are tactily giving approval for their disrespectful behavior becuase you are rewarding them with attention.

 

[betheman]

"The only winning move is not to play"

We've all done it. We want to somehow control the situation and get the other person to learn a lesson and we come out looking like some sort of crusader.

Problem is... this is a narcisstic tactic. We're not god, allah, jehovah or whatever name you want to call your religious deity. We can't control other people and trying to do so is a waste of time and effort.

The better question is to ask yourself why do you want to get the last word?

You acted with respect towards her and she returned that respect with disrespect. Therefore she should not be entitled to any more of your time. She is to be pitied and mocked from a far and erased from you memory.

This is the reason why men are failing today. There is way too much respect shown towards people who act disrespectfully and too much interest in righting wrongs ratehr than doing the one thing that any man that men look up to would do.

Do you think Clint Eastwood would talk to this woman after her disrespect? Would Paul Newman tolerate that crap?

Suffice to say when someone severly disrespects you they should become invisible and non-existant to you. By engaging you are tactily giving approval for their disrespectful behavior becuase you are rewarding them with attention.

this is the truth

 

[Greasy Pig]

Some solid gold here, gentlemen. I admit, I was played.

I had no other plates, no prospects in a new town, we seemed to get along really well, her attention was high and the sex was unbelievable.
All these things combined to make me relinquish frame and build an illusion that she really was a quality woman who would eventually come to her senses.

When she started flaking, I refused to accept she could be fvcking someone else and I chose to listen to her words instead of observing her actions. I definitely waited too long to pull the rip cord but I'm so glad I did and so glad I didn't validate her by replying to her text.

I feel more empowered than I have for ages and for that, I thank all of you for your lessons.
It's been a fairly harrowing experience but I'm in a good headspace right now and I've just booked a week in Vegas with my brother in March. Fvck yeah!
I've started running again and I'm playing squash twice a week and changed my diet. I've also just had finance approved for a brand new car.
Onward and upward!!!

 

[speed dawg]

I had no other plates, no prospects in a new town, we seemed to get along really well, her attention was high and the sex was unbelievable.
All these things combined to make me relinquish frame and build an illusion that she really was a quality woman who would eventually come to her senses.

When she started flaking, I refused to accept she could be fvcking someone else and I chose to listen to her words instead of observing her actions. I definitely waited too long to pull the rip cord but I'm so glad I did and so glad I didn't validate her by replying to her text.

We've all been here, man. That's why we came to this site. And we all got some tough love too. But just remember, the only place you can go from here is up. Things typically get worse before they get better, so prepare yourself.

Good to see that you've got a good attitude. Stick around the forums, there's much to be learned here.

 

[The_411]

Some solid gold here, gentlemen. I admit, I was played.

I had no other plates, no prospects in a new town, we seemed to get along really well, her attention was high and the sex was unbelievable.
All these things combined to make me relinquish frame and build an illusion that she really was a quality woman who would eventually come to her senses.

When she started flaking, I refused to accept she could be fvcking someone else and I chose to listen to her words instead of observing her actions. I definitely waited too long to pull the rip cord but I'm so glad I did and so glad I didn't validate her by replying to her text.

I feel more empowered than I have for ages and for that, I thank all of you for your lessons.
It's been a fairly harrowing experience but I'm in a good headspace right now and I've just booked a week in Vegas with my brother in March. Fvck yeah!
I've started running again and I'm playing squash twice a week and changed my diet. I've also just had finance approved for a brand new car.
Onward and upward!!!

You will be much better for it. The worse thing that can happen to a guy is getting played and not learning from it and then repeating the same mistakes. You will be more cynical and hardened and that's a good thing when dealing with women because they can and will exploit weakness.

 

[Pimp-sicle]

Rollo has a great post on his blog going into detail about Plate Theory. In the post he mentions how when guys are unplugged from the matrix and start spinning plates, they still don't truly understand plate theory.

There is an outside motive of trying to find a gf and once they meet a cool chick, they immediately drop the rest of their plates. This defeats the purpose of plate theory because now you are spending all free time with one girl and obviously thinking about her when your apart.

To successful venture into Plate Theory you must actively be talking with, dating and phuckin' multiple women; this in itself would not let your emotions get so caught up in one girl because if one plates falls off (its inevitable) you have others to replace her.

One thing I've done in the past that helps is once I find myself catching feelings too fast, I will pull back; go out meet more women and then re-engage the original girl when I'm in a better frame of mind.







PIMP

 

[Zarky]

once they meet a cool chick, they immediately drop the rest of their plates. This defeats the purpose of plate theory because now you are spending all free time with one girl and obviously thinking about her when your apart.

A player is the center of a player's world.
A woman is the center of a chump's world.

 

[Buddha_Mind]

I am not as diplomatic as everyone here! I would have called her out on it and told her to fvck off! That's just me!

I don't blame you for being pissed. I would be! You SHOULD be!

What's with this carry your head so high sh!t -- if she says she's committed to me but isn't, well, than she's a lying b!tch and time to purge her from my mind and my life.

 

[Greasy Pig]

Buddha, you're right. I was hurt and enraged but even expressing those nasty thoughts shows you actually care.
Sure, i wanted to tell her how thoughtless, arrogant, slvtty, dirty, rude and loathsome she is, but i now believe - after reading some posts here - that cold indifference is the most powerful message you can send.
Showing anger and hurt would just make her think "what an arsehole, I'm glad I'm not with him".
Showing mercy or mild acknowledgement tells her there are no consequences for her actions and she'll lose what little respect she might have had.
Saying nothing or "going ghost" keeps her in limbo: "Does he hate me? Should I try and contact him? Why hasn't he messaged back? Did he really care for me after all? He must think I'm a total slvt but that's not what I am! Or am I? I don't know! If only he would just acknowledge me!"
It's true, ignorance is bliss.

 

[mrRuckus]

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showpost.php?p=830433

 

[typical]

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showpost.php?p=830433

Damn now that is one of THE best posts I've found here ever about handling a relationship gone south.

 

[SSBS]

I had a similar situation recently, so I have to ask a question here.

While I can appreciate the concept of "going ghost" what is the point? If you want to get her hamster running, you need to ask yourself why.

The only reason that I can think of to do that is to get her to come back to you at some point.

When I had the bomb dropped on me, I lost it, and I unloaded on this chick, which means I told her the truth about what she did and who she was.

We went back and forth through emails for a little while, but I got out what I wanted to, and then ignored her last e-mail.

It really doesn't matter to me how she justifies what she did, or if she wants to make me the bad guy. She got a hard dose of truth, and she didn't like it.

I guess the point is, it's over regardless. You might as well say your piece and move on instead of "gaming" to some kind of fictional advantage.

Just my $0.02.

Just found this place and a few blogs. Interesting stuff.