About rejection/gaining a reputation

[MatteFFS]

Trying to keep this as short as possible:

Most of you seem to live in big cities/rural areas where it is true that rejection doesn't matter, because you'll never see them again. This isn't the case for me. I live in a relatively small place in Finland, and well.. If i'll start doing approaches regularly (which I guess i need to do if i ever want to get good) I'll most certainly will meet these ppl again, and it bothers me.

I'm thinking I'll have to keep doing approaches for a loong time for me to become good, and well, in a small place theres not many hotties. So it's like I'll go through the whole town and then I'll be known as the creep who hits on everyone.. Same thing if i start approaches the girls in my uni.. Rumours spread fast..

Needless to say this is puzzling me to pieces.. Any advice or something?

 

[Sneevox]

Trying to keep this as short as possible:

Most of you seem to live in big cities/rural areas where it is true that rejection doesn't matter, because you'll never see them again. This isn't the case for me. I live in a relatively small place in Finland, and well.. If i'll start doing approaches regularly (which I guess i need to do if i ever want to get good) I'll most certainly will meet these ppl again, and it bothers me.

I'm thinking I'll have to keep doing approaches for a loong time for me to become good, and well, in a small place theres not many hotties. So it's like I'll go through the whole town and then I'll be known as the creep who hits on everyone.. Same thing if i start approaches the girls in my uni.. Rumours spread fast..

Needless to say this is puzzling me to pieces.. Any advice or something?

Well, I have this same situation at hand. It's really simple, actually.

Treat all girls the same: With INDIFFERENCE.

This keeps them all from thinking you're a huge man-wh0re who hits on everyone. I barely hit on girls anymore.

Hang out with them as friends, and then if you're interested (or horny enough) move it forward. Just remember, they won't give you their phone number if they're not interested, and if they make a weird face or something or they give you a fake number, just don't call them.

 

[NobodyCares1]

I live in a small city too, basically there is a very small chance to meet someone that someone I know already doesn't know. But still, don't worry about it that much people here hook up quite often, for example my classmate, he already made out with at least 3 girls from our school and yet his reputation remain untouched.

I don't know how old are you but if you are in High School you don't have to worry about it that much, I hit quite often on girl and I don't thik that I have the creep reputation, some people might think that I'm a creep but so what, so far my reputation seemed to help me when picking up girls.

 

[VladPatton]

So what, that's THEIR problem. At least the girls will think twice about putting you in the Friend Zone.

 

[flashpoint]

there is no such thing as rejection, just girls with bad taste.

ok aside from that, first it is ok to be a man. say it!

second there is no shame in showing interest in someone. maybe since this place is so small, you dont do it just with the few hotties? become flirtatious with any woman. be playful, nice, suggesting things and do some roleplay. they will love you. and it is a great way to practice, takes some balls and time though to get used to it.

the rumours should be that you are THAT guy that is good with women and gives them lots of fun and good feelings, but isnt just a creep who tries to score with the hotties to prove something or the like. this is actually a good situation, you can make lots of female friends on your terms and have them like you, which in turn will show others that you are in demand.

now if you really hit on a woman then, it will just be your usual persona and you will be able to do a lot of stuff under the radar. and she will think that you have options so there must be more to it and she might be more inclined to give you a chance. at least that is how i would approach it.

 

[PapiChulo]

Change the strategy and simply dont approach. Instead be social, talk to people, and most importantly get women to reach out for a date. It's easy enough to get a bold attitude and just go around, get shut down by hundreds of women. It won't likely get you anywhere unless you are already getting pretty good results with this. You should rather focus on how to attract them, how to select the proper targets and how charm them into going out with you. I hope this helps. P.S. get on the boat and head for Stockholm, then approach all you want.

 

[MatteFFS]

Thanks for the answers!

I gotta say though I'm still not convinced by your answers, even though they made sense in some ways...
I mean, I want to become good at this. At some point in my life, I want to be that good with women that I know I can just go out and get almost anyone I want. But to get to that point I need practice. And how can I practice while...not approaching, as some of you guys are advicing me to do...

So yeah maybe I just should go to Stockholm!

 

[muscleman]

You can think of a small city much in the same way as a particular social circle. I'm in a group of about 50-100 models and we regularly do shoots, shows, etc. I've hooked up with/dated 5 of them so far and they all know about each other, though not from me. I got an effortless bang with another one a couple days ago just due to preselection. We were out with a group and she started telling me how so and so from the group I used to date was saying blah blah blah, but basically I came prequalified. I'm currently 'working' on 5 more, at the same time. It can be a longer process, but it's fun to keep as many in the kitty as possible. When you're in a group like that where you can't just pull out all the stops, use a little discretion. First, don't run your mouth. Keep everything on the DL and let the girls gossip on their own. Word will get around and you'll be all the more desirable because you 'hide' it. Second, feel the girls out. Since you'll see them again, there's no reason to go full throttle unless the circumstances are right (she's been drinking, logistics make sense, and she's given you signs of DTF).

I'll give you an example. I was recently at one of our model parties where there were 3 girls I wanted to hook up with. 1 of them I flirted with a little (and I did hit on her a bit about a year back) but once I got the full scoop decided not to pursue her ever again. Another one I just made conversation with and threw out little bits of bait (plausibly deniable of course) to see if she'd bite, and she didn't. Turns out she's very much smitten with her current bf, that's ok. The third one I spent all night with and am getting closer to fvcking. This is the difference between being the 'creepy' guy who goes around and tries to get everyone's phone number and just being sociable with a hint of flirtation to test the waters, gauge the response, and calibrate accordingly.

Now if I was out at a bar and meet a girl, I'm in 100% SNL mode.

A longer term solution is to leave your small town and move wherever you want in the world. It will require a lot out of you, but if that's what you want then go get it.