About keeping secrets in a LTR

[Fela Kuti]

One day, when me and my gf were talking, it turned out that she had a thought about something. When I asked her what it was, she said that she couldn't tell me, and even her best friends didn't know it. So I told her:

"It's not about the secret, but trust. I'm disappointed because I feel I'm not being trusted. You know that the foundation of a good relationship is trust, don't you?"

She answered: "I've always been trying to be honest and open to you. But please, only for this one thing, allow me to keep it to myself. I know that you're disappointed. But if I tell you this, I'm afraid it'll make you disappointed even more."

There's no point of pushing her because I knew she just wouldn't bug. So I just agreed with her.

It's been said that there are things that you better off not knowing. But is this one of them? Because I have a feeling that this secret is something that will affect my view of her. What should I do? And what's your thought about keeping secrets in a LTR. Is it healthy?

Thanks

 

[KontrollerX]

It's been said that there are things that you better off not knowing. But is this one of them? Because I have a feeling that this secret is something that will affect my view of her. What should I do? And what's your thought about keeping secrets in a LTR. Is it healthy?

Thanks

Its not healthy at all.

Open and honest communication is the only way to go and it shows true trust in your partner.

 

[lYlasTer]

Just leave it alone.

I have my share of secrets that I'd never a woman, and I assume she'll have hers. Better to let her tell you on her own in the future then try to force it out of her with a guilty trip about trust.

 

[SteakAndRice]

She probably got molested by her dad. Only things like that women really keep to themselves and beg to understand.

 

[stylemaker]

Let her know that when she is ready she can open up.

 

[Fela Kuti]

so the best now is to let her go with her decision to keep it a secret?

 

[stylemaker]

Yeah but at the same time show that you respect her decision and that when she is ready you will be.

 

[Bible_Belt]

Of course she thinks you would think less of her, which is why she is not telling you. It's probably nothing - maybe she's got hemhorroids or something embarrassing.

 

[Fela Kuti]

Of course she thinks you would think less of her, which is why she is not telling you. It's probably nothing - maybe she's got hemhorroids or something embarrassing.

haha, but she said it's something about her way of thinking. she has a thought that is different than the majority of people's thought about that issue.

 

[PectoralisMajor]

RE:haha, but she said it's something about her way of thinking. she has a thought that is different than the majority of people's thought about that issue.

She's probably into beastiality

Does she have any pets :woo:

 

[Fela Kuti]

RE:haha, but she said it's something about her way of thinking. she has a thought that is different than the majority of people's thought about that issue.

She's probably into beastiality

Does she have any pets :woo:

she has some fishes.

 

[comic_relief]

she has some fishes.

that would be kinky

comic_relief

 

[Rudy_TubeSteak]

My image of my longest LTR and the funnest girl so far was shattered when she told me she had a threesome with the least desirable kind if you know what I mean.

Now I am always going to be affected and the price to pay for letting secrets out. It's going to be on the back of my mind for as long as I can be with her. Sometimes I wished she never told me or at least didn't happened in the first place.

 

[Fela Kuti]

One thing that makes me upset about my GF is that she's usually hinting that she has a secret, but when I ask her what it was, she wouldn't tell me. If she's not gonna tell me, then why does she even hint at it?! It drives me mad. What should I do, guys?

 

[dannyegg4575]

then don't let it get to you. be cool man...
what's the big deal? if she wants to tell you, she will.
You have secrets of your own too. when the time is right, she'll tell you. Your reason for being is her is because you like being with her isn't it? so who cares?
If you do like her, accept her wholeheartedly. just be patient

 

[DonGorgon]

I know what her secret is.... but guess what its the same secret 99% of women have.... can you guess what it is??? SHE IS A HO.... LOL

 

[Mr. Me]

Sometimes there are things better left secret. You wouldn't really tell a woman that you bed wetted until you were 15, or discovered another use for vacuum cleaners, just for the sake of being open with her, would you? Because if you did, how would that possibly enhance her view of you? Any good it would do in showing how open you are would be more than marred by the facts you reveal.

Open and honest are two different things. Be honest - but not so fast on the open.

But if you must find out what her secrets are - and know this: sometimes knowing the answer will haunt you for years - go about it like this:

YOU: I'll tell you a secret then you tell me one.
HER: OK.
YOU: (make up something inconsequential, move in closer, real serious and whisper) "When I was 12, my brother made me eat my pet dog's ear when he died.".
SHE: Wow! I f$cked your dad last week.

 

[DonGorgon]

SHE: Wow! I f$cked your dad last week.

Exactly....LOL:crackup: