"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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About becoming 'official' - who should suggest it?

shydude

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Okai I understand your story and its alright, nothing so terrible, you went out a couple times, no kiss you both wanna make a move but still holding back. Dont make anything official, you dont need it. what you need to do is go for a kiss the next time you go out, and after that see how things go and so on. Dont rush to make anything official and dont hold yourself back from sexual contact.

P.S didnt see your already kissed.

Okai now just take it easy since shes fresh at this. Remember she will be very attached to you since you are her first so called love. Dont worry about her being incomfortable, 3 years ago I was kissing with a girl who has never kissed before, she didnt wanna kiss me for 2 months cuz she was "SHY". 4 months later we were fk1ng daily.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Benivos

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Whoa!

Whoa, this is an old topic!

Well, I just happened to stop by this forum, and saw this again! Haha.

If you want an update, things have been going really well. It kinda went similarly to what shydude said. She is indeed very attached to me, and I must say I'm enjoying this relationship.

Just like shydude said, she was indeed "SHY", but after about 2-3 months, I got another kiss in, and ever since, it hasn't been a problem.

As far as 'sleeping' together goes, she's willing - or rather wants to do it with me. We're planning for the end of this month. We do not go to the same school, so we can see each other about once a week, unless I've got too much work on hand.

Really, though, I enjoy being with her. I don't mind the pace at which we're moving at, either. We've been each other's first everything so far, and it's been wonderful and meaningful.

Perhaps it's a late reply, but a big thank you to all the help in this thread! :)




Edit: Ahh, since I've posted... I've got a question. She has said twice, "I love you!", once on MSN, once via SMS (text). Both were when we were leaving, so I didn't have to reply.

How do I reply if she says this in person...?

I don't want to hurt her, I care about her... but I do find the idea of "love" for a highschool student is somewhat foolish.
 

bigjohnson

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Benivos said:
Hello, I've been going out with this girl for about a month now. To make a long story short with C+F and Kino, I've gotten to the hold-hand stage- no kiss. From what I gather, she has a very high interest level in me.

Of course, we still aren't 'official'.
My point is: Do I go ahead with it or wait and let HER do it? Who should be the one to suggest going official?

Make sure you get it in triplicate and in front of a notary, and for gods sake save the canary copy for your records.
 

Captain

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Do not even think about moving this forward if you have not kissed (at least). Also, you've been on multiple dates over a MONTH without a kiss? I smell a problem here. You need to kiss her and move things forward.

EDIT: Saw your update. Dude. If you are happy with this pace you are either a) very inexperienced with women or b) lying to yourself. Again, you need to stop planning things like sex, just get together, get her comfortable and turned on, initiate, and escalate to sex.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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