AAAgent's Teaching Guide to dating and how to become a better man!

[AAAgent]

Below is the teaching guide i wrote a few years ago for my first dating coach business. I realized how helpful it was for me. It was what i would call the basic's to my dating routines and at the same time how to become a better person. Sometime's through all the noise and change i feel like my life is out of focus. It happens often, but then i remembered the saying below:

"When you feel that your life is out of focus, always return to the basics of life."

"Breathing"

"Without breathing, there is no life."

Luckily, I am able to come together at times and write great pieces of work that I will post below that outline the basics of dating. I thought i would contribute this back to the community as i have kept it secret for a long time.

Step One – Appearance
The first part of step one is to measure if your client needs any significant help with their appearance.
We are out here to try to improve the client’s chance of success in dating but we only have a limited amount of time. You don’t have to turn them into a supermodel or bring them on par with movie star looks but we aim to at least make our clients more noticeable than the average person.
If great is an A
And good is a B
Then Average is a C
WE MUST DO BETTER THAN AVERAGE!
The minimum a client will be allowed to pass in their appearances will be GOOD otherwise known as a B score.
Estimating throughout the course of the 8 weeks of time we have with our client, taking a client from anywhere between C and lower up to a minimum of B standards is the most we can do.
If the client is on a B level already, it will take less time to bring them up to an A level compared to that of a client on a C level or lower. This is because the clients knowledge of how to maintain a decent appearance is better therefore less is needed to be worked on and also time will be less of a constraint.
By making yourself more attractive you are increasing your chance of success and at the same time boosting your own confidence. When you perceive yourself confidently others will do the same, since people see you depending on how you see yourself.
The List
Hair Style Hygiene
Clothing Posture/Comfort Level (Confidence)
Hair Style: Your hairstyle is important since it is a part of how you present and represent yourself. If you leave it alone and don’t take care of it, it would be no different from going out with your clothes un-ironed.
Clothing: As stated before representing yourself is an important step in increasing your chances of success in dating. As a man, you are out marketing yourself to all the women in the world. The easiest way to market yourself is clothing. Your clothes tell a lot about you, more so than your hair. The type of clothing lets people know if you’re neat, well prepared, creative, confident, and many more things. When choosing clothes that fit you make sure to be stylish, form fitting, and comfortable/affordable. You want to be eye catching enough so that you will not be passed as normal.
Hygiene: Make sure you are well groomed. Things like shaving, trimming, shaping up your hair, etc. Smell is also very important. A man that smells nice will have a better chance that a man that smells bad or a man that doesn't have any smell to him at all. The necessities are cologne, deodorant, aftershave, lotion, brushing your teeth along with mouthwash and flossing.
Posture: The way you walk and present yourself. No woman can believe in you if you can't even believe in yourself. So walk tall, straight, and with confidence.

Although the sudden change in appearance may make you feel uncomfortable, but just like in the movie Hitch says. "You is a very fluid concept, you bought the shoes and You look good in them."

Your new style may make you a bit uneasy but it is just a matter of getting used to. Once you're comfortable with it, you will be fine.

So remember even though you may think people are looking at you because you don't suit the new style but it's not that specific reason. People will perceive you how you perceive yourself. If you walk with your new style as if you always dress this way people will think you always dress that way. If you act as though it's your first time dressing that way, people will think it really is your first time dressing that way. So be confident and act normally always.

Shoes - Always have nice shoes. You should have atleast one pair for any special occasion. One pair of nice sneakers for casual walking, a pair of nice dress shoes for fancy dinners and partys, nice walking casual shoes for possible movie dates where you dress casual, etc.

You do not need to always dress nice or be perfectly groomed for every day but always have the option of dressing nice for when you need to.

 

[AAAgent]

Step Two - Speech/Patience/Control

Speaking skills are very important for life in general and dating is no exception. Since every woman is different from the next one, focusing on one specific type of woman would limit your chances overall. It is best to educate yourself with as many subjects, topics, cultures, etc. just generally to make yourself a well rounded man.
E.G.
1.) A smart girl that speaks proper English enjoys talking about news and politics.

You want to be around her level and speak like an educated person while also discussing about current events with her.

2.) A slightly educated ghetto tomboy girl likes to talk about sports and hip-hop

You want to be able to understand some slang as well as spit some back at her. Afterwords discuss things you can relate and talk about together such as sports or new hip hop songs.

3.) A girl girl that likes to talk about shopping, expensive things, and traveling all over the world on her many vacations.

With this girl you want to talk about places you've been to and how they were interesting places as well while also showing you enjoy fancy and expensive things to a certain degree.

Although you want your dates to feel comfortable with you (showing them you are around their level), you also want to be different. Just because you can spit out slang does not mean you should act/speak like a hoodlum. Be a gentlemen while at the same time show that you can relate to them. Only respond to things that you have sincere answers/responses to, otherwise listen and ask to learn why they like that topic or said what they said.

Listening is also really important. Women in general like to talk, so in order to converse well with them, they need a man who can listen and also try to understand why and what they’re saying. So listen to what they say and give genuine responses back. If they wanted a talking machine they'd talk to one of their gay friends or girlfriends. While you listen and respond it does not mean you cannot try to talk to them and have a conversation but just understand that you should be doing more of the listening. If you feel like you want to say something make sure it's relevant and she would actually like to listen to it. Things that females do like hearing about are you hopes, dreams, aspirations, how you plan on making yourself a better person or striking it big, but only broach these aspirations if you come across the topic. Girls love a man with ambition so talking a little about it will be good to spark their interest, but remember you're there to listen. By being a great listener who only gives sincere/genuine answers, your already different from the average guy that tries to brag, showoff, talk too much, or stare at them like a piece of meat.

Some Rules:
Act educated and gentlemanly at all times.
Try to adapt slightly to your dates speaking style without changing who you really are.
Listen to them and respond.

As well as holding relevant conversations relating to the topics that interests them, talk about your own interests and things that fascinate you. Lastly, remember everything should be given in doses and should be balanced. If she is interested, she will want to know who you are but she may not want to know the whole thing right now. The longer it takes to find out things, the more worthwhile it becomes.

Patience & Control

Building patience and control into one's character is a very tiring and long process. It has to assimilate into all aspects of life, but most important of all, it has to be maintained.

Patience and control put together add great significance and value into yourself as a man/person. To describe patience is just not a sufficient way to understand the true concept and meaning it brings to adding value to yourself. It can only be shown through examples and actions.

Here's is an example how patience/control comes into our daily lives:

In every aspect of life, we as humans try to do work but in the fastest but most effective way. If you can do the sufficient amount of work to complete an assignment as well as completing it to the proper standards, there is no need to do anymore. If extra work is completed it could be seen as repetitive, a waste of time, or even useless. Most of the time does not add value and will even in some instances decrease the value of the work. It is not bad to go above and beyond, but you need to understand when this makes sense.

This is where Patience/control come in. Conversations are the best way to utilize patience/control. Do you notice when your hanging out in groups and there are the people who talk too much? The people who talk about nothing important? Even the people that rarely talk at all, everyone one of these people are lacking patience & control.

You want to be efficient with anything you do and words that come out of your mouth should be used efficiently as well. When conversations are going on listen and respond but only respond when you have something to say or if you have to. Don't talk too much, too little and make sure what you have to say is relevant.

Aristotle
Men acquire a particular quality by constantly acting a particular way, you become just by performing just actions, temperate by performing temperate actions, brave by performing brave actions.



Give Texting scenarios to show how to control words, time, and eagerness.

 

[AAAgent]

Step Three - Target/Type

This is where most people have trouble with. Knowing exactly what they want. Every person is different, that includes men & women in general. Your exact taste and likes of an ideal companion will be different from the next guy. Your future girlfriend could be a complete opposite of your last girlfriend. So although you need to know what type of things you would like in a female, it is better to give yourself as many opportunities as possible. This is how to do so:

Since it is your job for you to spark an interest from the female, her job is to reciprocate interest back. From here on is how you figure out if a female/target is right for you. There are too many qualities that a man can hope for in one woman, so instead of trying to find them all. an easier way to realize what you want is to find out what you don't want. Keep in mind that no one is perfect and sometimes learning to accept a few imperfections you come to the realization that you've found someone that has become perfect.

Set a list of things that you absolutely will not accept:
E.G. Drugs
No career
Children
Major Financial Debt
etc.

Some things you don't like but can tolerate if she is okay:
E.G. Smokes
Not too bright
Makes a lot more money than you
Bad reputation
etc.

Learn to weigh things out with pro's and con's.

A girl with a bunch of maybe's and a no= NO
A bunch of maybe's and 0, no's= Maybe
A few to none maybe's and no's=Yes

Anything better should probably be a Yes and anything worse should be a No depending on how to weigh it out.

 

[AAAgent]

Step Four - Approaching

Learn how to properly walk up to anybody including women.

No slouching
Average strides and speed
Look forward
Never stare at the floor or look down
Shoulders back

Practice this a lot until it becomes normal and second nature. remember if your not confident in what you're doing people will notice so get adjusted to it. Also when you do approach don't be scared. Life is meant to be lived, we are human and sometimes we makes mistakes but the thing that make us different from the rest of the world is that we can learn from them. So take everything as a learning experience and don't hold it against yourself.

Step Five - Setup

Learn how to properly setup a date without overstepping any boundaries.

When dating, it's best to put the least amount of pressure on the female but instead steer her towards a decision you want. Always be general until she accepts, you can get to the specifics later.

Here of some examples of how you can ask someone out on a date and you can let me know which one you think is the best.

E.G. - Hey, are you free for dinner saturday night around 7?

Hey, you free to grab a bite to eat this weekend?

Hey you want to get something to eat saturday?

The answer choice would be the second scenario.

Instead of asking her out to breakfast/lunch/dinner as her out to eat in general. This increases your chances overall since you could be rejected from any one of those things individually. So by asking her out to eat your not having her choose any one specific choice but your giving her the option of all three. By choosing a weekend setting, you open yourself up to friday, saturday, and sunday. This gives you three opportunities instead of one.

Your ultimate goal is to give her as few reasons to say "NO" to you. So if you asked her to eat breakfast and she had a prior engagement, you've just been rejected. If you ask her to lunch but she has a work deadline, she won't be able to make it, lastly if you ask her to dinner but it's her friends birthday that night...you've just been burned all three times.

Ask her out generally. She will steer you towards the best chance you have if she's interested so don't worry.

 

[AAAgent]

Step Six - Scenery/Setting

When with a female, it is important to choose/direct the female to a proper place

The scenario i use for myself is to imagine your date as a princess and your her prince.

Act like a gentlemen.
Direct her to her seat.
Always walk to the further seat or anything further and give her the closer things.
Lead her walking through a crowd.
If it's loud, bring her somewhere quiet.
Take charge and introduce her to people you know politely.

When sitting in public always try to give the seat where she will only be sitting next to you. This is so she doesn't have to feel uncomfortable next to a stranger.

Be mindful of your surroundings:

E.G.
City walking- Make sure you watch out for pot holes or things she could break her heels on. when you see them, direct her away by pulling her closer to you and moving in a different direction. or just simply let her know verbally.

Bad Areas- When you see shady people, areas, or situations, direct her to a safer and nicer route.

Remember she is supposed to be treated like you are escorting a princess so take the proper precautions.

Step Seven - Time

Learn how to spend enough time so that you keep interest levels high with your date but not too much that she no longer values your time together. When dating whether it's a few weeks or a few months you have to keep interest levels high and learn when to leave and when to go back. Never spend too much time on a single date, you need to know too much of anything is never good so always remember and limit yourself. Plan what you need to do and do it and part ways.

The amount of dates should be like a rollercoaster and no week should have more than 3 dates.

Start off one date the first week, then 2, than 3, than 2,1,etc. Not neccesarily in those number but keep things changing and different so she can't become used to it. Similar to a rollercoaster ride, it start's from the bottom then gets to the top then hits the bottom again so on and so forth.