AA prob: I don't mind if I'm rejected, but DO care what other people around think

[Bilogomja]

This is a really weird problem I have in day game / cold approaching. Like I don't mind if I'm rejected by the HB I'm opening, but I totally DO give a **** about what the OTHER people around us think. I just have the feeling that when I approach, all these other around us will be listening in thinking "ha ha ha what a ****in retard..." This problem is so extreme that I have the idea that I'll even be kicked out of the establishment I'm sarging at (like barnes and noble for example) because I had been "making the customers feel uncomfortable." Do any of you guys have the same problem? What inner game techniques do you use to combat this feeling?

 

[WC2]

By my own personal definition, if you care what others around you think so much then you are acting like a woman.

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=106210

It's better to be hated than not respected at all.

 

[ready123]

if you're doing daytime approaches... look around and you'll see unless you're being loud and obnoxious, nobody really cares what you're doing. they're in their own world

if you're in a club or bar, look around and you'll see 75% of the guys just have their dck in their hands and WISH they had the balls to approach. but they don't and are gonna be sitting there with their male cousin for the next 3 hours. pat yourself on the back that you're not one of htem

 

[LoneSilver]

Women are dying for men with big balls don't be a little man with little balls...approach, approach and the hell with what others might be thinking for all you know they just might be taking notes for you being a man of valor...Did I say valor? A man of valor asking a woman out... Yeah, it's all a state of mind and strength...

Put away childish thoughts it's all about the way you were conditioned as a child growing up you are a man now no need to fear. Bet if you dig deep enough you'll see how this fear came about and most likely from none other Momma dearest...

LoneSilver

 

[Furyguy]

Courage is being scared to death - but saddling up anyway.

Take your own advice buddy.

 

[Bilogomja]

Thanks a lot for all the advice guys. Yea, you're right - I should just say **** it and do this. I really shouldn't give a **** about what those around me think because I probably will never see them again anyways. I'm gonna employ this **** the first chance I get tomorrow. Thanks again guys.

 

[YoungSir4sho]

Wat about when u in the train station n every1 is lookin at u??? Also wat about when u go up to more den 1 or 2 girls???

 

[Bible_Belt]

I think the key is to retain "plausible deniability." That term has been used for covert military operations that would not be popular with Congress or the American voters. The idea is that if the operation is compromised, the President can always make a very reasonable-sounding denial that he knows nothing about the operation.

To use this with girls, you hit on them without hitting on them. Talk to them, chat them up, get them laughing, get them interested, then get a way to contact them again so you can continue the conversation, and then leave. If at any point in this interaction, she suddenly turns into a b!tch and cuts you off - "um, are you like, asking me on a date or something?" then you can just stop and look at her like she is the crazy one and you're surprised she would suggest such a thing. For a woman to erroneously accuse you of hitting on her is a big social faux paus, and she would be genuinely embarrassed if she even suspected that was the case. This works, and it still gives you confidence for the 19/20 times that you don't have to use it, but the key is retaining plausible deniability.

 

[Popeyes]

I think the key is to retain "plausible deniability." That term has been used for covert military operations that would not be popular with Congress or the American voters. The idea is that if the operation is compromised, the President can always make a very reasonable-sounding denial that he knows nothing about the operation.

To use this with girls, you hit on them without hitting on them. Talk to them, chat them up, get them laughing, get them interested, then get a way to contact them again so you can continue the conversation, and then leave. If at any point in this interaction, she suddenly turns into a b!tch and cuts you off - "um, are you like, asking me on a date or something?" then you can just stop and look at her like she is the crazy one and you're surprised she would suggest such a thing. For a woman to erroneously accuse you of hitting on her is a big social faux paus, and she would be genuinely embarrassed if she even suspected that was the case. This works, and it still gives you confidence for the 19/20 times that you don't have to use it, but the key is retaining plausible deniability.

The original poster said he's more concerned with what other people think. I don't think he really would care if the girl rejected him like that.

 

[ItsOnNow]

Ive got a similar problem with anxiety, esp approaching/meeting women. I don't want to come off as creepy or weird in any way. Plus, the fact that I have taken zero action.

Plus,what about making connections and meeting people? People you do want to see again so you are not alone?

I mean,it feels embarassing when you see 16,17 year olds with more pull than you.

 

[r0cky]

Dude simple:
Dont hit on the girl.

A lot of guys with anxiety approach think of an approach as hitting on a girl, of walking up to her and saying "Hey baby wuts up".
Not this isnt what you want to do, because it will never work. Specially at B&N.
Since you're a beguinner you should concentrate on being comfortable approaching strangers and not on picking up.
Don't try out for car racing before you learn how to drive.

Here's a tip, next time just browse around. When you find a girl you like, pretend like you're looking around, act like you're interested in finding a book or something. Then make a commment like "I can't believe they dont have a book about X" or something else that you've noticed. If they are open for conversation they will say something back if not they will smile politely and thats your cue to STFU. Simple.
No chance they will laugh at you or call you a creep.

 

[Popeyes]

delete this

 

[Popeyes]

Dude simple:
Dont hit on the girl.

A lot of guys with anxiety approach think of an approach as hitting on a girl, of walking up to her and saying "Hey baby wuts up".
Not this isnt what you want to do, because it will never work. Specially at B&N.
Since you're a beguinner you should concentrate on being comfortable approaching strangers and not on picking up.
Don't try out for car racing before you learn how to drive.

Here's a tip, next time just browse around. When you find a girl you like, pretend like you're looking around, act like you're interested in finding a book or something. Then make a commment like "I can't believe they dont have a book about X" or something else that you've noticed. If they are open for conversation they will say something back if not they will smile politely and thats your cue to STFU. Simple.
No chance they will laugh at you or call you a creep.

.....

This is a really weird problem I have in day game / cold approaching. Like I don't mind if I'm rejected by the HB I'm opening, but I totally DO give a **** about what the OTHER people around us think.

It's the audience he's worried about. Lol he could try that method out, but anybody who IS looking and watching (and the girl too) would know what he was up to regardless of how blatant he makes it. I used to, and still do in some cases have this problem.