Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single

She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.

You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.

The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.

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A Woman’s Value in Time

BadBoy89

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Article below:

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As women, we are worshipped in our twenties and then with a flip of a switch, we instantly become outliers in our thirties. Even the coveted and famous Korean skincare is mostly aimed at women in their twenties. I dare you to try and find an anti-aging line from Korean skincare lines and you can clearly see that the skincare range is very limited and the price is ridiculously exorbitant. Again another way for society to punish us by pricing anti-aging creams at such a high price (yes I’m talking to you Chanel Sublimage Creme that costs 400 dollars even at Costco!)

I remember something that my mother said to me many years ago that has stuck with me to this day. She once said, “A few years ago when I walked into a room, all eyes would turn towards me, now they turn to you”. I didn’t understand it at the time because to me, she was always the most beautiful woman in any room. Today, as a woman in her late thirties, I understand that what she was referring to wasn’t a beauty, it was a youth. Society judges women too harshly. Our worth is linked directly to the number of candles on our birthday cake. In our youth and prime, we are expected to contribute to society based on our looks along with our brains. As if with beauty and youth somehow a woman’s brain would be filled with knowledge and could solve all of the world’s problems and then some. Then when we reach a certain maturity and have the wisdom to contribute knowledge, we are deemed old and irrelevant.

Amongst ourselves, women champion each other, but oftentimes, I don’t see the same support being given by men towards women. I’ve had so many male friends who complained that their wives never bounced back to their pre-baby weight after childbirth. Because as an everyday woman, we are expected to bounce back like Hollywood A-listers and their endless armies of personal trainers, nutritionists, nannies, and stylists. It’s as if it was written in their marriage vows “To have and to hold, in sickness and in health, unless you get fat and flabby. In that case all bets are off”. Society, in particular men, often give women unrealistic expectation of aging. We’re supposed to look like our children’s siblings, we have to still be able to fit into our pre-childbirth clothes and on top of all that, our bodies have to somehow defy gravity, no lines, wrinkles, or sagging.

Which brings me to my question, why is it that the same standards don’t apply to men? My male friends who are my age, I’ve noticed, often have a beer belly, a Kangaroo pouch, a one pack. However, you want to call it they have it. My girlfriends and I have to color our hair to hide our greys and yet men are free to walk around with the Clooney salt and pepper hair that somehow society has deemed adds to their charisma. Let’s not forget with the salt and pepper hair comes the kangaroo pouch and yet I don’t see society judging these men the way they judge women. Our whole lives, no matter who we are, and what our accomplishments are, women are constantly put in a real-life beauty pageant and an E! Fashion Police special of who wore it better. And to tell you the truth, it is exhausting.

Society has put the most impossible standard for women to live up to. We are demanded to have the maturity of a 40-year-old woman in the body of a 20-year-old girl. Men want the ease, wit, and charm of Goldie Hawn in the body of Zendaya. Yes, that can happen, but I’m pretty sure it’s going to require a trip to South Korea, 100 thousand dollars, and the best surgeon you can get an appointment with on short notice. On top of that, we also have to be soccer moms, gourmet chefs, with a meticulously clean home, fluffy laundry and don’t forget, active members of the PTA. Society, especially the male species need to stop having unrealistic expectations of women.

Jennifer Garner once said that she can work really hard on her body and would still look like a woman who's had three kids and she’s ok with that. Technology has done wonders in our lives and I don’t just mean with apps such as Amazon, Postmates, Lyft, or Instacart. I mean bringing conversations to the table that matters around the world. It may have taken all of humanity to get to the 21st century and Instagram and tik-tok but for once, I feel uplifted and hopeful that I can age gracefully as the universe intended. I am able to see so many women all over the world who are embracing their age and not caring how society will accept them, which in turn causes society to embrace women of all ages more openly.

For years I was obsessed with looking young. I would trim a few years off my age when people asked for fear of being labeled “old”. Today many women around the world are embracing their age such as Gwen Stefani and J-Lo who are in their 50s and killing it. Even Jane Fonda is a constant inspiration that growing old doesn’t mean growing useless. They are paving the way for women like me to follow suit and embrace the fact that age is really nothing but a number. We, along with our bodies and minds are what we make of it. A healthy diet, exercise, and a good night’s sleep are as good as the fountain of youth. With the magic of the internet, we can constantly upgrade our skills. The age of productivity for women is now endless. Even Ruth Bader Ginsburg was still crushing it with her weights workout well into her 80s.

Women have proven time and time again, that our age and looks have nothing to do with the contributions we can make and the performance we can deliver. Aging is a part of life and a natural occurrence, please stop punishing women for maturing and embrace us for the wisdom, knowledge, and love that we have to offer.

With age comes maturity is a very real thing. Not only personally but professionally. Those endless years of toiling away really worked. On a professional level, I see that my girlfriends and I are on good ground. But on a personal level, I often wonder how strong our footing is. With the addition of candles on our birthday cakes, the soft lines start creeping in on our visage. With men, aging comes as a sign of maturity, authority, and power. George Clooney is known for his salt and pepper hair, but for a woman in her late thirties, showing grey roots is a faux pas. It is considered a taboo like the last season Prada shoes Elle Woods wore in Legally Blonde.

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Thoughts?
 

“The 22 Rules That Turned Me From Invisible to Irresistible With Women… Starting Tonight”

You can skip the expensive cars, the fancy clothes, and the endless gym selfies. Completely unnecessary.

I used to freeze the second a beautiful woman looked my way. Frustrated. Awkward. Watching other guys walk away with the girl while I stood there tongue-tied.

Then I discovered 22 simple rules that rewired my entire dating life. The anxiety vanished. Conversations flowed effortlessly. Women started chasing me for a change.

These rules trigger a woman's subconscious attraction switches. And you can start using them tonight.

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Prepostereax

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Not another female power opinion piece.
For every statement, you could write it wildly differently and it would read true.

George Clooney is known for his charm, charisma, which is totally irrespective of his hair.
Ruth BG is crushing it in a coffin.
If all it took to retain youth was 100k and a trip to SKor, legions of women would be remortgaging their homes. No, it takes diet and exercise and lifestyle changes, which requires more discipline than the average woman possesses. And probably a different approach on life which for many would require a personality transplant.

Just a rant from someone who's still trying to compete with girls a generation or three younger.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Hal9000

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Another pity party piece from a woman who likely has more dating options than 99% of men of any age but is salty because she doesn't get quite as much attention as she did when she was at her peak in her early 20s. Narcissist much?
 

Arete

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I have the unpopular opinion that womens "shelf life" could be far higher if they didn't use copious amounts of skin-damaging products, aka skin"care." I believe this is one of the main reasons why we men age incomparably better on average.

Did anyone ever wonder why there are outliers in both directions?
  • Relatively, often you see men at around 35yo, looking like 25,
  • yet also relatively often you see 25yo women looking like 35.
Why is this?

The only significant variable in the habits of the two genders is the vastly different amount of skincare they use. Men might use some moisture cream after showering if at all, compare that to the arsenal of products most women use. Of course, many studies are sponsored by big corporations to put some counter-evidence in place. "No, these chemicals are totally good for you long-term, we swear!"

If they didn't, women would demand drastically higher standards, which would cause demand for natural cosmetics to skyrocket. Fully natural products would boom like never before.

But who would lose out? Just some examples:
  • Surgeons
  • Dietary supplements
  • ~95% of cosmetic manufacturers (market share of conventional cosmetics)
The issue is, truly natural cosmetics are magnitudes more expensive to manufacture. They also have a expiration date. And they have a consistency and smell that is often not on par with chemical products.

There is not as much money to be made from that, as the profit margins are way smaller. Chemical ingredients can be made so ridiculously cheap, most people would refuse to believe it. It's almost comical to think some brands sell this stuff at exorbitant prices and women buy it, just to hit the wall ever faster in the long run.

For men, this is just as unfortunate, as women could look like they are in their prime for much longer, just like we do.
 
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Tilex

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She lived in easy mode her entire life and then complains when she started living in hard mode when she aged much older.

But she never understood that guys live the complete opposite of this. Guys start in hard mode when they're young, and then reach easy mode when they're much older.

I guarantee if she was a guy, this blog would've been written in her early 20's.
 

BeExcellent

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Advice from the old lady:

We are all getting older. It is what it is. While I am all for keeping up one's appearance @Prepostereax is absolutely correct in saying that many women (and men too) lack the self discipline to live the lifestyle that best maintains a youthful appearance.

Those lifestyle choices (eating healthy foods in moderation, sun avoidance, light drinking or no drinking, smoking avoidance, sufficient sleep, proper exercise etc.) require a long time horizon (like investing financially for retirement) and consistency, and like retirement investing you will not see appreciable results in the early years.

But over decades healthy habits beat out good genetics.

And I agree with @Atete too. Way too much stuff out there being slathered on faces by women. I'm too lazy & cheap for expensive creams etc. Often I skip make up, and I never wear sunscreen. I wear a hat often to shade my face and avoid sun exosure at peak times, but those are healthy habits.

I also wear sunglasses when outside to protect my eyes. In time we will ALL develop cataracts. Best to delay that as long as possible!
 

BaronOfHair

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@BadBoy89

"Men want the ease, wit, and charm of Goldie Hawn in the body of Zendaya"

The former hasn't been especially witty or charming since Clinton's first term in The Oval Office, and I remain perplexed by the lust many express for the latter. As for the overall gist of that article:

No one except film critics worshipped, say, Heather Matarrazo or Fairuza Balk, even when both were in their 20s. RL is always a smidge more complicated than conventional pseudo-wisdom would have us believe
 
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"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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