"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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A weird type of approach...

Skating Penguin

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Recently, I've been trying some weird approach thing with girls I see in public places like subway stations, trains, busses, whatever.

Basically, I go up to the girl I want and pretend that she looks like someone I know. So I go next to her, look at her, shake my head a little, raise an eyebrow and say something like "aaah... wait a minute... is your name X?"
Then, when she says no, I'm like "ah... maybe I'm wrong, then. You just look like someone I know. What's your name?" and just start from there.

The only thing is... when there isn't much time to talk (like when I'm in a bus and she's getting ready to leave at the next stop) it's a bit weird when I get to ask her number because I have the impression that they realize that pretending that she looked like someone I knew wasn't true and just an excuse. I don't think girls like guys who make up lies like that just to ask them out so I'm a bit worried about that approach method because I have the impression that it can get a bit too obvious sometimes.

I thought it worked fine to start a conversation though because it's a pretty good excuse to talk to someone when you just mistake them for someone else. Any ideas?
 

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Wiesman44

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Why can't u just go up to her and say 'hi' while u both are waiting for a bus / train, etc. Why do u have to disguise your approach w/ lies ? Do u have a lack of confidence that needs this approach b/c u can't approcah women otherwise ?


It boggles my mind how so many of you need specific approaches when first talking to girls. The best approach is 'hi' ! Simple, and very effective. THey know u want to talk to them, so they either will, or they won't !
 

Skating Penguin

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Originally posted by Wiesman44
Why can't u just go up to her and say 'hi' while u both are waiting for a bus / train, etc. Why do u have to disguise your approach w/ lies ? Do u have a lack of confidence that needs this approach b/c u can't approcah women otherwise ?


It boggles my mind how so many of you need specific approaches when first talking to girls. The best approach is 'hi' ! Simple, and very effective. THey know u want to talk to them, so they either will, or they won't !
Dunno about just saying "hi"... in my mind it just looks a bit weird to talk to someone you never met in a bus or something like if it was a friend. If I just say hi the girl's probably gonna say something like "eh... do I know you or something?"... I think there are probably better ways to start a convo for a better transition between not talking and talking.

Like if I'm in a train and I see this chick sitting on the other side and I go sit next to her to talk to her, I think it's better if I have "something" to start the convo with instead of just saying "hi." No?
 

Tazman

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I actually think that's a good tactic if you know you'll see them again. You do the approach, make small talk and say goodbye. Next time you see them, you'll have already broken the ice and then you can ask them out in a more relaxed state.
 

Jon341427

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Originally posted by Skating Penguin
Recently, I've been trying some weird approach thing with girls I see in public places like subway stations, trains, busses, whatever.

Basically, I go up to the girl I want and pretend that she looks like someone I know. So I go next to her, look at her, shake my head a little, raise an eyebrow and say something like "aaah... wait a minute... is your name X?"
Then, when she says no, I'm like "ah... maybe I'm wrong, then. You just look like someone I know. What's your name?" and just start from there.

The only thing is... when there isn't much time to talk (like when I'm in a bus and she's getting ready to leave at the next stop) it's a bit weird when I get to ask her number because I have the impression that they realize that pretending that she looked like someone I knew wasn't true and just an excuse. I don't think girls like guys who make up lies like that just to ask them out so I'm a bit worried about that approach method because I have the impression that it can get a bit too obvious sometimes.

I thought it worked fine to start a conversation though because it's a pretty good excuse to talk to someone when you just mistake them for someone else. Any ideas?
i tried that same disguised approach, and just saying hey how are you doing? works better
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Jon341427

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Originally posted by Tazman
I actually think that's a good tactic if you know you'll see them again. You do the approach, make small talk and say goodbye. Next time you see them, you'll have already broken the ice and then you can ask them out in a more relaxed state.
very good point, just have to hope it all pans out well (hope you see her again).
 

anamchara

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agreed

I'd agree with the above posters; a simple "hi" might be the most effective approach. I've found that girls keep their ***** shield extremely high on busses and subway cars (and why not, w/the # of skeezy dudes riding on them)... a simple hi, and a big smile is probably your best bet. . . it's no wierder to her than being asking for a female opinion on something by a random stranger ;-)

~~anamchara
 
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