She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
jophil28 said:a lot of these woman are experts at drawing in men to fill these "roles' with an explicit and implicit promise of her loyalty commitment and undying devotion . THat lasts until just after the wedding and her true agenda emerges.
THis is why single mothers have such a poor reputation- because they are dishonest in their stated intentions BEFORE the wedding.
You have no clue about what you are saying unless you have been in this exact stituation.Bible_Belt said:All of these 'married a single mom' sob stories have one thing in common - a man who's too big of a pvssy to leave a woman who has stopped meeting his needs. Whining about not wanting a divorce or about hurting the children is just whining. I don't feel sorry for any man who is too big of a wuss to leave his woman and get a better one. No one can treat you badly if you leave; it's amazing how well that works. Physically abused women and verbally abused husbands both need to learn that lesson.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
jophil28 said:You have no clue about what you are saying unless you have been in this exact stituation.
Abandoning a marriage because she is " not meeting your needs " is pussified and self centered behavior in the extreme. It is what I woukd expect of a selfish woman who believes that she is entitled to have a marriage "serve" her. Men are expected to act in more rational ways.
In earlier posts YOU set our strut and posture and beat your chest and insult men who are having difficulties in their marriage and who also choose to stay and not walk out just because , " she is not meeting his needs" . That is exactly what selfish pvssies do. It is also what a lot or "empowered " modern woman do and that behavior is frequently and commonly condemned right here on SS. You are out of step with the consensus here. Apparently you regard marriage as one long date which exists to provide for YOU and YOUR needs (whatever they are). That would be what we would call an "entitled" view.Bible_Belt said:So men are not allowed to get divorced? What are you, the Australian Taliban?
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When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
jophil28 said:In earlier posts YOU set our strut and posture and beat your chest and insult men who are having difficulties in their marriage and who also choose to stay and not walk out just because , " she is not meeting his needs" . That is exactly what selfish pvssies do. It is also what a lot or "empowered " modern woman do and that behavior is frequently and commonly condemned right here on SS. You are out of step with the consensus here. Apparently you regard marriage as one long date which exists to provide for YOU and YOUR needs (whatever they are). That would be what we would call an "entitled" view.
IF you want to bail because you are not getting your own way - then do it,. That is your choice. However do not come on this board and insult others who decide to try to resolve their difficuties .
IF your approach is to throw in the towel because things are not going your way , then do whatever you want. I happen to disagree with you. I believe that walking is a last resort not a first response.
BY all means flame away again if your ego continues to need inflation.
Neither do you.jophil28 said:You have no clue about what you are saying unless you have been in this exact stituation.
Abandoning a marriage because she is " not meeting your needs " is pussified and self centered behavior in the extreme. It is what I woukd expect of a selfish woman who believes that she is entitled to have a marriage "serve" her. Men are expected to act in more rational ways.
Two girlfriends, Bible? That's not spinning plates. That is either a case of desperation or low self-esteem on their part, or cheating on yours. Hardly respectable DJ stuff there.Bible_Belt said:Would you please stop telling me that I don't know what I'm talking about. I have been married and divorced, and I have dated single mommies. Right now, I have one childless gf and another one with three small kids.
So men are not allowed to get divorced? What are you, the Australian Taliban? No wonder you stress out so much about which woman to choose if you'll never let yourself leave her when she turns b!tchy. That must be a lot of pressure, thinking that marriage must last forever. Actually, I know it is, because I used to think the same way myself.
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.