A typical love in high school with questions.

[aCrappyLife]

Hey guys. A friend of mine had shown me this forum as he was aware of what has been going on in my life. I guess I also need to find a way to be sure when to really open myself to a girl. Im in band class, and in our school system rotates every other day with 4 different sets of classes. Last year I met a girl, who was one of the only younger grades in our class of 15 year olds. When I laid eyes on her, she was probably one of the most beautiful girls I've seen for awhile. In my past, I was never in the dating scene. I'm a quiet, nice guy, with a horrid burden of immature kids my age who like to talk trash at me. Back to the story, as I slowly began sitting in the middle of my row next to her more often, we start talking a little bit. Most days where we have this class throughout the year, we talked a bit. Most of it was not serious stuff, and she takes my iPod alot and takes pictures of random stuff and tells me to keep it as a wallpaper. I just follow along, and she puts notes in my iPod. It just says "so and so is the best person I know, " And such. I don't know what that means or I may be thinking too much of it. The only times I really talk to her are in that very band class, and it's not much cause the band teacher is a total psychopath.(If you read this far, thanks for showing interest, grab a coffee cause I have lots to ask :/) But during class movies we kinda just sit beside each other as everyone else has someone to talk to and I showed no interest in anything else but her. But at the end of the year, we started to get somewhat closer and sit closer, but that was only because of the iPod that we were both playing on. (Hey, it's a start) Throughout the whole summer, I haven't spoken to her and I dont know what to do. And I'm not sure if she's still in band anymore because a whole bunch of kids quit. I really am stumped and unsure what to do. My school year starts in a few days and again, am unsure what to do to get this girl I truly like. I truly appreciate any help from a person who has read this far. Thank you so much for reading and please help :/

 

[NorwegianDJ]

First off, there's heealthy beliefs and unhealthy beliefs. If you believe that life is crap, then that's what it is. Self-fulfilling prophecy.

So the thing is, Im not tell you how to get that chick, but Im gonna give you something many times more powerful and helpful to yourself. Go for other chicks. Having 3 options already really solves almost all troubles you have with girls.

 

[aCrappyLife]

Sorry for the late reply, but thanks for the input. Typing things on an ipod at 1 in the morning is something I should really stop. But I really like the advice. And this username, I don't know.

But maybe I overthought some things, but I took some things in consideration. I have expanded my options, but what if it was just for no intention to get laid anytime soon. Being 16, and raised in a chinese culture, it's kind of uneasy to talk about sex a lot.

 

[NorwegianDJ]

Get used to it

 

[NewspaperRalph]

Seems to me, like you have trouble creating attraction and conversation (A problem I'm well familiar with, lol). Join a free online chat community called habbohotel.com.

Typically, the members join to talk to their friends, but it's a great place to practice conversation, and (hopefully) attraction with strangers. Just walk up to a random avatar and type (caution: you might feel some approach anxiety, so prepare for it)... You seem to be the right age for habbohotel, since all the members are around your age. Try it out - before you get older, and seem like a pedofile for talking to 15 year old girls.

 

[NorwegianDJ]

I played that game when I was like 10, so I would take that as an insult really. HOWEVER, I do agree that talking to people and saying outrageous stuff online helps. www.omegle.com also helps.

 

[Melen]

Conversation is a difficult thing. I too was ( And to a degree still am ) hopeless at conversation. What NorwegianDJ says about Inner Confidence, is without a doubt the best advice that you'll get in this thread. Anyway, a few basic notes about conversation.

-Maintain multiple threads
A thread is a line of conversation if you will. I think it is in Double your Dating ( Though I may be wrong ) David DeAngelo ( I may be wrong again ) uses an example similiar to this to demonstrate that idea.

Man walking his dog in a park meets a girl walking her dog, his dog begins to sniff around her dogs bottom.

Man: Haha, our dogs sure get on well.
Woman: Haha, yeah. A good day for it.
Man: Yeah. that's a nice dog you've got.
Woman: Yeah, she's a collie.
Man:What dog food do you use?

That was a terribly abridged example from memory. But look at it and consider. The thread is about dogs, now they speak for a while about their dogs, eventually the man runs out of things to say. He flounders and tries to keep talking, about dog food. Trying to continue a dead thread.

Essentially, when you're talking with somebody bring up several subjects, if you run out of things to say, bring up an entirely new subject. Don't flog a dead horse.

-Don't ask questions too much

Mystery summed this up nicely by the quote 'it's a conversation not an interrogation'. In essence make open-ended statements rather than questions. Instead of.

Woman: Yeah my dog's a collie
Man: Are they well behaved?
Woman: No

Do something like

Woman: My dog's a collie.
Man: I hear they're quite disobedient.
Woman: Yeah, he's a pain.

It's just more natural.

Warning: The following advice is personal experience, regard at your own risk.

And from personal experience in school, I find that you shouldn't talk when you can't have a conversation. If you're in Physics and you want to talk to the girl next to you, but the teacher is talking and the conversation would be stop start. Just don't bother. If you can't have a conversation. Don't talk.

Of course practicing conversation is the key to becoming good at it. Talk with the women in the shop, make small talk. This is very important. A wise man once also said

There are two types of people in the world, Those who live life, those who pretend to live life. Now if you are an interesting person, you'll have loads to talk about. If you're a boring **** who stays at home and watches family guy repeats with cheesy nacho fingers and a sweaty novelty shirt with the curtains drawn, then you'll have jack **** to talk about.

 

[aCrappyLife]

I'm really liking the tips. But in my current class. It's nearly impossible to sit beside her. Due to the fact that one girl always sits between me and her or like 4 other people. Another side is there is one homosexual guy who hits on everyone and annoys the crap out of me( as I am on the "hitlist" ). How do I deal with all this major c*ckblocking and irritation?

 

[NorwegianDJ]

What about all the other girls?

 

[aCrappyLife]

@NorwegianDJ I've already tried my hand at other girls that have caught my interest, but my inability to speak up really screwed things up. And most of the other girls in my school don't appeal to me in any way. I don't like calling them b***hes and whatnot, but they don't have the best personality and I personally just want a good relationship.

 

[TheJazz]

Mate, it's the woman's job to sit around and wonder if you like her. It's your job to show her that you like her. How do you that? Lean in and kiss her. It's the best way. If she kisses you back, win! If she pushes you away, still win! You know she's not interested. On to bigger and better things!