A tricky situation

[h_amati]

Been going out with this girl for 4 months, she normally is affectionate and calls or writes an SMS every day. Since last week she has been acting differently and not being as affectionate, it has been 3 days since she called or sent a message, unusual for her. Last time I spoke with her she said she liked that we are mutually respectful of each other's space. I normally don't call or send messages to her, this is why.

I feel something's up but I don´t want to call or write, but do not like the situation either.

Would you keep up with the game or next her?

 

[ToP DoN]

yeah keep it up man...dont call or message her....dont do anything...when she does call or Im just ask her hows shes been....but dont let her know what u are doing...and spend as much time as you can in person...

 

[ManOMan]

Mutually respectful of each others space = Im seeing other guys, you should be seeing other girls

 

[h_amati]

Originally posted by ManOMan
Mutually respectful of each others space = Im seeing other guys, you should be seeing other girls

Of course I've thought about this, but seems unlikely (unless she is cheating) when we are dating exclusively and has not given any reason not to trust her.

Don't know if I should just grab the phone and tell her I do not like this situation and she should go to hell because it's obvious something's up or she is playing games

or

Wait until she calls and complains and tell her, well...I'm just respecting your space.

 

[ManOMan]

do not call her and tell her to go to hell, unless you intend on NEVER associating with her again. I think its OK to put women in their place when they are dissing you as long as you arent doing it for effect or hoping to rile her up to come back to you.

Otherwise, just kick back and wait it out. She'll be back. They always come back.

 

[Walk this Way]

You're reading far too much into this. 4 months versus three days, and I'm assuming there hasn't been any major fight. What's the big deal? Relax, wait maybe another day and give her a call yourself just to say hi, and don't sound angry or or anything. What's wrong with calling her? Are you going to lose your macho DJ status or something? To me you sound more insecure asking this question and not calling than you would if you just called her up, smiled calmly and sincerely, and asked "Hey sexy, what's up?"

 

[h_amati]

There has not been a big fight or anything, I've noticed she has been acting less affectionate coupled with "being respectful of each others space"

Problem is I already tried approaching her on why she is acting this way and of course she said she feels nothing is wrong.

 

[DankNuggs]

You sound like a little girl, don't pull the "this is what this relationship should be about"

take what you have at face value, if you don't like it, walk.


There are much better ways to communicate your feelings other than whining, or flying off the handle emotionally....

 

[ematsuda]

The best thing to do here is break contact with her for a while. When she withdraws, you withdraw. When she contacts you again, appear unphased and friendly. Do not let her know that you are upset by her remarks and behavior because you'll come across as "weak".

As a matter of fact, this technique worked for me just last night as this girl I was seeing asked me out after cancelling a date with me last week. I just didn't let it phase me and when I saw her again, I just acted friendly (but not overly friendly) and confident. What also helped was that while I was talking to her, another girl that she knows (an attractive one) called me and I brushed her off to take the call. The competition put her in her place and got her juices flowing again.