A tough situation. Need advice

[Chickfight]

So there's this girl I got with before. It all went good, she was/is crazy about me. Since 5 weeks ago it's been an across ocean long distance thing. I told her beforehand long distance won't work for either of us and we should keep our contact to a minimum. Which has so far been 2 calls and a video call and a few messages a week, mostly to set up the calls. Also, I always take a day or two or even more to reply to her messages. I also received a four page letter from her a week ago with her basically describing how amazing I was and that she loved me.

Honestly, I'm very into her as well. She's really beautiful and there's a distinct lack of sh!t tests cause I've made it clear through my actions in the past that I'm willing to walk away and never look back. It was almost like a disney movie how we got together and we've definitely built a deep bond.

Still, I've internalized a lot of this dj stuff and I can't abide by this situation any longer.

A few problems:

She's 17, almost 5 years younger than me, which means she has a lot less freedom and her parents don't approve. When I was there she had to basically go against their wishes to see me.

We won't be in the same place for an extended time in the immediate future, so I can't see us being in a relationship. She's moving to the states for college in next year, but she'll still be across the country.


I need a way stop this contact, get over this oneities and do my own thing here, yet I still want to be with her when I'm there. I go in the summers and winters. How should I got about doing this? I'm thinking about sending her a message, but what should I write?

Thanks.

 

[runner83]

Yes, long distance probably won't work since you'll gradually drift apart.

Chances are she may very well fall for another dude wherever she is, and he will have the advantage because he is much closer (in terms of distance) than you are.

I suggest continue with what you are doing: maintain minimum contact, but otherwise move on and see other chicks.

 

[Chickfight]

Thanks for the suggestion, but I was thinking about something a little more decisive. I don't want to just hang along until we slowly burn out. Get out while I'm on top you know? So when I finally do see her again I'll be there again, larger than life as she remembered me. I mean, she can't go on on memories forever can she? However, I also don't wan't to be overly dramatic or a huge *******, because she hasn't done anything wrong.

Any other input?

 

[Chickfight]

Could really use some help with this.

 

[synergy1]

this isn't tough at all. your a chump trying to get a 17 year old on lockdown. News flash, young women have tons of options and they would be fools not to look into them. If she is hot, she will have options faster than you can say 'speedracer'.

My advice? Keep the chat light, but pursue other interests. If she comes back and you have some fun, so much the better. Beware, WHEN she finds another guy and stops talking to you, you will be a wreck. If you don't care, than it won't even matter.

Play the field, not the long distance game.

 

[Iceberg]

this isn't tough at all. your a chump trying to get a 17 year old on lockdown. News flash, young women have tons of options and they would be fools not to look into them. If she is hot, she will have options faster than you can say 'speedracer'.

My advice? Keep the chat light, but pursue other interests. If she comes back and you have some fun, so much the better. Beware, WHEN she finds another guy and stops talking to you, you will be a wreck. If you don't care, than it won't even matter.

Play the field, not the long distance game.

Agreed. It's not that tough at all.

Chickfight, your issue, if I can boil things down, seems to be that you need this girl to stop contacting you. Well, here's an idea: stop talking to her.

If someone were trying to quit cigarettes, my first suggestion would be "Hey, stop smoking cigarettes." You're trying to quit this girl. So just leave her alone.

Obviously, at this point in your lives, you and this 17 year old shouldn't be attempting a serious relationship. So don't. Stop responding, she'll stop writing, and you'll both move in your own direction as millions of couples do every day.

 

[Fuglydude]

This isn't a tough situation man... LDR's aren't really "relationships" in my opinion. Furthermore, young girls like that have skewed visions of what relationship reality is really like. Last 18 year old I went out with was quite eager to please and always kept telling me how lucky she was to go out with me and stuff... We went out once... I face****ed her, had her gag on my ****, and blew my load all over her face even though "she didn't like it on her face"... I would never seriously consider a girl that young for an LTR, much less something like a serious LDR.

I think you should focus on other stuff like getting into peak shape, work on your career/education, and game local girls. Your chances of getting laid locally are gonna be better because although you may have a large weiner, its probably not big enough to traverse thousands of miles. Nothing wrong with keeping on talking to her, but just don't put a lot of value on it.

Synergy gave you some great points... get outta the situation man, its gonna mess you up otherwise.

 

[Chickfight]

Thanks for the replies. I guess I already knew the answer. Objectively, it's not a tough situation I suppose, except for me. I just need some reinforcement as I may not be seeing things clearly.

Thing is, I can't help but feel invested. I mean I played it almost perfectly step one, the best I've ever been, all natural. Got her falling for me, behaving the way I want her to. The only reason for me to walk away is the distance (and maybe religion, but I pretty much neutralized that sh!t) which is a big fvckin reason I know, but it's not HER fault. I wouldn't have as much of a problem walking if the chick actually did something wrong, such as disrespecting me. She's like my favorite fvckin pokemon. I can't just throw her away.

But I will take your advices, especially fugly dudes. Keep some emotional distance to match the physical distance and focus on myself.