A thought for the new year

[Black Widow Void]

Though I've been a member here for close to ten years, I've been more active over this past year. One common occurrence I've lately noticed is the reaction that some of the "old-timers" give to the new member.

In a lot of cases, the new member arrives here walking wounded.... and/or also with a life time of improper/unhealthy social conditioning as his history.
Will his first impression (posting on this forum) appear as if he is "weak" (or to borrow the most overused word here) "beta?"
It's highly likely. After all, that's all he's known. Think about that for a moment.

Seriously, give it some thought. Usually half (or more) responses to a new member do not offer anything constructive. Instead, these postings are more of an opportunity for the "old-timers" to respond that new newbie isn't "alpha" or his ex is "sucking another c*ck" etc... .

While these analogies may be true, does it offer the new visitor any strategies on how to improve himself?

This past year, I've seen a lot of new members post a few times and then vanish. Some of course, are here for a quick answer to a specific problem and then move on. Others, I believe do not return because of a certain 'smugness' or 'play-ground bully' mentality ... displayed by some members.

If you are new here and your first impression of sosuave... is that the older forum members seem to delight in saying that you've been cucked, etc (without offering anything supportive and constructive to the new member) ... then it stands to reason that this is why many new members do not return.

At some point in our own lives, we've all been that confused or "weak" person. We are now (hopefully) in a better place now. We did not get in a better place by being mothered of course, but we also didn't get there by being around a bunch of men that swaggered.

I'm also not without fault. As you can see from my above message, I could stand to apply more tactfulness.
Anyway... I hope that some of you will think about this.

 

[samspade]

That's a phase that some guys go through. They unplug, have a little success, and suddenly they're calling other guys cucks and betas. I'm sure I went through it when I was younger, though I was more of the "grab your balls already" school of thought. But when guys are hurting or confused, they should at least be credited for seeking help and looking to change. These days I try to congratulate newbies on taking the first step.

 

[Billtx49]

I agree. A newer member is not helped in any way by members spouting manosphere words and phrases at him.
Helping another often comes from personal experience. If you have none regarding his situation, at least offer a good listen and answer experience as opposed to telling him he’s been ‘cucked’.
Sometimes it’s time to get real…

 

[thinker]

This place can be a little rough sometimes, the first time I posted here I was called an incel. I guess due to my age and life experiences it didn't affect me but I see how someone who is younger and isn't as experienced would be affected by some of the ball busting that happens here. I try to help and give good advise, but every once in a while some new member will come on and just be an arrogant know nothing dip shiit who not only doesn't want to consider the advice he is given but will also insult the members that are giving him that advice.