A text timing situation - can you guys weigh in?

[TheCWord]

A text timing situation (updated w/ response)

Since spending more time here, my text game has improved drastically. I mostly just text with girls to set up dates and, when replying, I almost always wait double the time she took to write back (she waits 2 hrs, I wait 4 hrs).

Keeping vigilant about this has also helped to change the dynamic with this one girl who I used to chase and now she's the one always initiating. It's a beautiful sight: seeing so many messages on the left side of the screen and so few on the right. Now, this girl and I are currently living in different states. I'll be moving back to the same town in a couple months but right now I obviously can't set up a date over text.

So here's the sitch: She sent a text, I waited 10 hours because I hadn't heard from her in a while and didn't want her to think I was going to drop what I was doing to chit chat. I replied and she never responded...

Until now, a month later. Then she asked a question to start another convo. I'm not bothered by this - as I said, we live in different states at the moment, and even if we didn't, I never double-texted or sat by my phone waiting, so she can have high IL, low IL, whatever. I'm not going to Next her for this because I want to keep things at least at a low simmer until the games can really begin later this summer.

I can't do my double-the-time-she-took-to-reply thing here because then I'd be waiting two months and that's a little too transparent game playing for my tastes. How long do I wait to respond?

UPDATE POSTED BELOW

 

[LearningSlowly]

Doesn't matter. As you say, she can have high interest or low interest and you don't really care.

So what's the worst that can happen if you text back? Her interest goes down? Oh well, big whoop.

 

[Lord Hypnos]

wait 3 days, 4 hours, and 34 minutes, if you don't, she won't drop her panties next time she sees you

 

[TheCWord]

wait 3 days, 4 hours, and 34 minutes, if you don't, she won't drop her panties next time she sees you

Haha this reply actually really resonates with me. Understood, Hypnos.

 

[BigSmooth]

As long as you're not texting her the second she texts you...you'll be fine. If she has high interest, it won't really matter if you text her 10 mins later or 10 hours later. As long as you're not a creepasaurex or stupid idiot while texting...you'll be fine.

 

[betheman]

a month? a month???? the classic ..."who is this? " would suffice

 

[like2jam]

I agree with betheman. A month later? Who the hell is this? lol

 

[TheCWord]

All right, guys, so I texted her back several hours later and she wrote back INSTANTLY. I didn't reply and went to bed.

Next day around noon, she texts with another question. I had to get a haircut, go to the gym, etc. so I only replied two hours later. She replies back INSTANTLY.

This is very good behaviour from a girl who, last year, habitually took forever to text back. Now she appears to be waiting by the phone...

My question is, do I reinforce her good habits by also replying in a timely manner or do I keep mixing it up - sometimes replying within ten minutes, other times hours later. Sometimes I'm legit busy and can truly only reply hours later. Other times, like today, I'll be having a lazy Saturday and I COULD reply back quickly, the question is if I SHOULD.

I'm loving that she's the one doing the chasing and what I do not want is for her to slip into her old routine of thinking it's okay to take forever to respond.

As a sidebar: I never initiate text convos with her and will continue it this way. The next time I send the first text will be when we're in the same state and can arrange a date... even then, actually, I may just wait to hear from her.

 

[TheCWord]

Bump. I want to make sure I keep this new frame - want to keep her snap-responding to texts without letting her get too cozy and thinking she can eventually revert to old behaviour.

Most recently I replied to a text of hers, she snap responded, then I waited 3 hours to reply... and then she waited 4 hours to respond to that... Not cool, she was doing so well. So I obviously did not respond to her last one.

 

[plate's_empty]

Good stuff.

I'd say switch it up a little bit. Don't want her to pick up on your game

I'll snap respond myself if she says something meaningful, funny or witty. But the moment she says something stupid, i.e. being an AW, selfish, childish.... I'll let her marinate in her words for a while. She'll be sitting there with phone in hand and wondering why I all of the sudden stopped texting her back.

 

[TheCWord]

Good stuff.

I'd say switch it up a little bit. Don't want her to pick up on your game

I'll snap respond myself if she says something meaningful, funny or witty. But the moment she says something stupid, i.e. being an AW, selfish, childish.... I'll let her marinate in her words for a while. She'll be sitting there with phone in hand and wondering why I all of the sudden stopped texting her back.

Right on, plate. Thanks.