A stumbling block at the head of the path to DJ

[quirk]

Ok all, I find myself in a rather interesting position and need some advice. As this is my first post to the boards (been lurking awhile) you will need a bit of background. No sob story here, just a few facts of how I got where I am.

I started off some years ago at absolute rock bottom. Take the most insecure/pathetic/depressed story on these boards and I could probably have matched it at one time. One thing I did have though is determination enough to knock down mountains. Forward to today I've pulled myself together, have a great job, a life I enjoy, plenty of hobbies/interests, and sky-high self confidence.

So the problem? My life till now has given me no social skills. Zero, zip, nada, zilch. LOL, at one point the most interaction I had with someone was to ignore the clerk in a self-checkout stand in a King-Soopers.

Along with that comes, as you expect that I've reached 27 without even having kissed a girl, much less anything more.

This all leads to some rather interesting situations which alternate between annoying, confusing, and (in retrospect) humorous.

Just for example, some guys find it hard to go somewhere alone? Not I. A few of you out there probably understand how one can be a hermit in the middle of a big city. I'm perfectly happy by myself just about anywhere. In retrospect I think I've probably been approached by women a number of times and never even realized it.

And of course my love life is the only thing that makes my social life look prolific.

Anyone have a suggestion on how I should proceed, especially on the area of stopping myself from being a hermit in crowded rooms? The end goal is, of course, the same as all are on this board for.

Quirk

 

[DJHoolahoop]

Well I would think about picking up some reading material to help you interact with people better. I know that in the past I have had great difficulty talking with people, but I'd suggest sitting at home and coming up with generic conversations on your own and then practicing them.

Such as just introducing yourself and taking it from there. It's tough to start out doing something new, at least it is for me. But always remember why you're doing it and to never beat yourself up over it, because that brings about the "why bother" negative crap that will mess up whatever change you had been making.

I'd pick up this one book in particular "How To Talk to Anyone: 92 little tricks for big success in relationships" and although the book may sound like it's for dating, they mean all types of relationships. Like friendships and what have you.

There are many other books out there that you should read, just so you get an idea of how to approach situations and learn from that so you can do them on your own. But if you have the same experience as I do, it won't be easy. Just be prepared to not be good at it, afterall you've said yourself that you've never really done it.

Another recommendation IS to read the bible if you haven't, just because it does have good info on conversations and social interactions.

Good luck

 

[Tin Pan Alley Man]

You could volunteer for some cause. There might not be a lot of hot young bodies, but you will be drawn to the other volunteers by an unbreakable bond that comes only from helping the less fortunate. Gagworthy, yes, but at the very least you'll feel as if you're making a small difference.

 

[belividere]

So the problem? My life till now has given me no social skills. Zero, zip, nada, zilch. LOL, at one point the most interaction I had with someone was to ignore the clerk in a self-checkout stand in a King-Soopers.

You have given your life no social skills not the other way around. You have succeded in making it this far, now go and do a bootcamp.