StoneColdFox
Don Juan
- Joined
- Sep 14, 2006
- Messages
- 103
- Reaction score
- 1
by Stone Cold Fox
In a previous post I made reference to a post posted by another user that detailed the qualities women found attractive. I was talking about this post:
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthr...ight=qualities
However, I'd like to write a similar topic, just throwing in my own philosophies.
First, let's think about what attraction is. It's not just sexual, it can be mental and well as emotional. It is a very complex word, yet we usually just use it to describe the feelings between a man and woman. However, It's deeper than that.
There are traits that we find attractive not only in women but in people in general. Think of your best friends. Regardless of their sex you have love for them because of the qualities in which you find attractive.. Of course not sexually.. I'd hope.. but you get the drift.. I mean they are funny, cool, good to talk to etc.. Or here's a better scenario.. You are trying to hire an employee for your business.. You'd want someone with good people skills, might be a leader and who is easy to talk to and personable and is confident.
Here's what I have been preaching.
It's the same for women. There really isn't a SET way to get a girl. There isn't a certain line, or a certain one personality trait..BUT there are traits that we find attractive no matter what. The same traits you look for in a close friend, or a respectable employee are some that a girl will look for in a guy.. (there a few MORE though of course, because you don't wanna **** your employee or.. friend but.. you get the gist of things).
So let's look at these qualities and see how we can tie them into women.
The first one and most important one..
Confidence.
People like someone with confidence. They have their head on their shoulders, and know what they want. They aren't scared to talk to some one or try to get what they want.
This is important in the business world because people are impressed by this. They see someone with ambition and leadership skills.
This is important to women because they see you as a guy who isn't a pushover. Someone that they wouldn't be able to control, and someone who isn't shy. Girls like guys they can control, but they get tired of them. If you are confident in being yourself and who you are.. It drives them crazy. Some hot girls do not get approached because guys are shy or fake. A confident man isn't either of those.
How to improve confidence.
1) Know your worth.
Maintain an awareness for all you do in the world. Take a moment every day to realize what you do in life, what your worth is and all that you are capable of doing.
2) Set goals and meet them.
The process of setting goals and meeting them makes you feel great about yourself. It gives you something to do and makes you feel as if you can do anything you set your mind to. Because you can.
3) Accepting failure.
Accepting that you will sometimes fail is key to maintaining a high self-confidence. If you don't view failure as a part of life, the smallest derailment can be shattering to your ego. Take risks and learn to fall short; this will teach you at least as much as, if not more than, unfaltering success will. Getting rejected by the sophisticated blonde at the bar only makes it sweeter when your dream girl says "yes" down the road.
4) Learn a new trade or craft
By learning to do something new, you'll reassure yourself that, with some thought and preparation, you can tackle the unexpected. You'll also build your knowledge base and gain self-confidence by being able to adapt your knowledge to new tasks. Take an economics class or learn about a remote geographic location in a book. Better yet, do it hands-on: have your mechanic friend come over and show you how to do some preventative car maintenance.
5) Be active
Staying physically fit is as important as staying mentally sane. A lot of men need to workout in order to maintain a positive self-image; others, to fend off hereditary heart disease. But everyone, without exception, feels better and has more self-confidence when they're in shape. The endorphins that are released during exercise will lift your spirits during your workout and, in the long-term, help you feel capable to accomplish your goals.
6) Look good
For those men whose self-confidence has reached an all-time low, ceasing to care about their appearance might be a final sign that it's time to change. How you look is how the world sees you, so don't neglect your appearance. If you can take pride in looking good when you leave the house, it will do wonders for your self-confidence -- when you know you look good, others notice. So do things right and walk with your back straight.
7) Surround yourself with good people
Make it a point to socialize with people that you share a mutual respect, and who are able to put you in the limelight during conversations. Friendship is a fundamental boost to the self-confidence of both parties. When your pal is quick to recognize that you're a cool cat, you'll notice it too.
OKAY. Got confidence out the way. That will kind of tie into everything I say from this point on..
A good conversationalist.
Think about it. You probably have that friend, male or female, that you can sit around till the sun comes up just talking. It pays off for women as well.
Any guy can use canned lines and holla at a girl, but they key to success with women is getting women here is being different. So learn how to become a better conversationalist.
Ways we can do this are as follows.
1) Start chatting up everyone.
From the bank teller, to an old lady on the street just talk about everything. It helps improve anxiety when talking to girls if you just become social. Think about it. The lady that makes your quiznos sandwiches, the man working the cash register, anyone.. they usually as, How are you today? Instead of saying Fine..and stand there awkwardly looking at the floor say fine, fine, and yourself? then mention the weather, something.. I dunno. Just make conversation. This is the core of becoming a better conversationalist.
2) Over come fear.
Stop putting so much thought into one situation. Rejection happens. If you can't vibe well with a girl on a conversational level, it'd probably be nearly impossible for you to vibe with her later as well.. so just meet someone else.
3) Get through the first few minutes
Most men don't realize this, but 99% of the first few minutes of your conversation with any woman aren’t about HER, they are about her PERSONA. A woman will play all sorts of games to block your progress so she can slow things down and maintain control. The last thing she wants to happen is for things to get hot and heavy too quickly, which may cause you to lose respect for her -- at least, this is what she believes. Even if a woman really likes you, she’ll probably be resistant at first, play hard to get, and even act uninterested. Some women get nervous around men, especially when they’re attracted to him. Don’t take any of this stuff personally, just be patient and persist.
4) Appeal to her weird side.
Every woman has a weird, dorky, off-beat side, but most men don’t get to see or interact with this side for very long. The key is for you to know that this side of her is in there, and then to talk to it and draw it out by teasing, latching on when you see it, etc. This is part of the key to giving her the experience of “I feel so comfortable with you,” and giving her the feeling that she’s known you for a long time. One way to do this is to call her a dork or a spaz or even a brat until you feel her shift. When she suddenly realizes you’re talking to that dorky side of her that few other men can bring out of her she'll begin to feel much more at ease with you. When you reach that point and get past a woman’s persona, that’s when MAGIC happens.
5) Get success minded.
Ties in with confidence. Do it.
Next up is humor.
As I said before you are trying to be different than the 34343452 other asses that go after her. So be funny.. IN YOUR OWN WAY. I mean if you arent that funny don't try too hard..lol You have to learn how to create attraction through humor.
Use this as a guideline.
http://www.askmen.com/dating/dating_top_ten_150/182_dating_list.html
It works.
Those three will work for now.
So in short.. be funny, be personable, and be confident.
There are tons of women out there who get hit on by hundreds of guys.. be different.
These traits are effective in meeting women and making friends.. they work.
An honorable mention would be.. Be different. I had a teacher who became a friend of mine..He was a PUA and didnt know it.. was ****y and funny, teased girls he talked to and it worked.. but thats a subject for a whole different post.. The thing that he did well was he was great at being a conversationalist.. this is because he just had a huge desire to learn. He was knowledgeable in everything from sports, current events, to philosophy, to different cultures.. This enabled him to be confident in having conversation.. because he knew what he was talking about, and also of course, made him a good conversationalist.
Guys knowledge is power.. Respect learning, be knowledgable in alot of things.. it helps.
My style is I pick on them but they know im joking.. but I like to show im intelligent too.. If a deep topic is brought up I'll say a few things.. I'm good with words. This humor, good conversation, confidence and now intelligence.. creates this aura of some what mystery. You have all these traits.. its diff. from the meat heads or the weirdos that they talk to.. you have depth to your character. It makes the girls want to figure you out.. They love it.
This is all for now.. Sorry its a bit unorganized.. my minds kinda all over the place.
Hope you enjoyed.
- Stone Cold Fox
In a previous post I made reference to a post posted by another user that detailed the qualities women found attractive. I was talking about this post:
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthr...ight=qualities
However, I'd like to write a similar topic, just throwing in my own philosophies.
First, let's think about what attraction is. It's not just sexual, it can be mental and well as emotional. It is a very complex word, yet we usually just use it to describe the feelings between a man and woman. However, It's deeper than that.
There are traits that we find attractive not only in women but in people in general. Think of your best friends. Regardless of their sex you have love for them because of the qualities in which you find attractive.. Of course not sexually.. I'd hope.. but you get the drift.. I mean they are funny, cool, good to talk to etc.. Or here's a better scenario.. You are trying to hire an employee for your business.. You'd want someone with good people skills, might be a leader and who is easy to talk to and personable and is confident.
Here's what I have been preaching.
It's the same for women. There really isn't a SET way to get a girl. There isn't a certain line, or a certain one personality trait..BUT there are traits that we find attractive no matter what. The same traits you look for in a close friend, or a respectable employee are some that a girl will look for in a guy.. (there a few MORE though of course, because you don't wanna **** your employee or.. friend but.. you get the gist of things).
So let's look at these qualities and see how we can tie them into women.
The first one and most important one..
Confidence.
People like someone with confidence. They have their head on their shoulders, and know what they want. They aren't scared to talk to some one or try to get what they want.
This is important in the business world because people are impressed by this. They see someone with ambition and leadership skills.
This is important to women because they see you as a guy who isn't a pushover. Someone that they wouldn't be able to control, and someone who isn't shy. Girls like guys they can control, but they get tired of them. If you are confident in being yourself and who you are.. It drives them crazy. Some hot girls do not get approached because guys are shy or fake. A confident man isn't either of those.
How to improve confidence.
1) Know your worth.
Maintain an awareness for all you do in the world. Take a moment every day to realize what you do in life, what your worth is and all that you are capable of doing.
2) Set goals and meet them.
The process of setting goals and meeting them makes you feel great about yourself. It gives you something to do and makes you feel as if you can do anything you set your mind to. Because you can.
3) Accepting failure.
Accepting that you will sometimes fail is key to maintaining a high self-confidence. If you don't view failure as a part of life, the smallest derailment can be shattering to your ego. Take risks and learn to fall short; this will teach you at least as much as, if not more than, unfaltering success will. Getting rejected by the sophisticated blonde at the bar only makes it sweeter when your dream girl says "yes" down the road.
4) Learn a new trade or craft
By learning to do something new, you'll reassure yourself that, with some thought and preparation, you can tackle the unexpected. You'll also build your knowledge base and gain self-confidence by being able to adapt your knowledge to new tasks. Take an economics class or learn about a remote geographic location in a book. Better yet, do it hands-on: have your mechanic friend come over and show you how to do some preventative car maintenance.
5) Be active
Staying physically fit is as important as staying mentally sane. A lot of men need to workout in order to maintain a positive self-image; others, to fend off hereditary heart disease. But everyone, without exception, feels better and has more self-confidence when they're in shape. The endorphins that are released during exercise will lift your spirits during your workout and, in the long-term, help you feel capable to accomplish your goals.
6) Look good
For those men whose self-confidence has reached an all-time low, ceasing to care about their appearance might be a final sign that it's time to change. How you look is how the world sees you, so don't neglect your appearance. If you can take pride in looking good when you leave the house, it will do wonders for your self-confidence -- when you know you look good, others notice. So do things right and walk with your back straight.
7) Surround yourself with good people
Make it a point to socialize with people that you share a mutual respect, and who are able to put you in the limelight during conversations. Friendship is a fundamental boost to the self-confidence of both parties. When your pal is quick to recognize that you're a cool cat, you'll notice it too.
OKAY. Got confidence out the way. That will kind of tie into everything I say from this point on..
A good conversationalist.
Think about it. You probably have that friend, male or female, that you can sit around till the sun comes up just talking. It pays off for women as well.
Any guy can use canned lines and holla at a girl, but they key to success with women is getting women here is being different. So learn how to become a better conversationalist.
Ways we can do this are as follows.
1) Start chatting up everyone.
From the bank teller, to an old lady on the street just talk about everything. It helps improve anxiety when talking to girls if you just become social. Think about it. The lady that makes your quiznos sandwiches, the man working the cash register, anyone.. they usually as, How are you today? Instead of saying Fine..and stand there awkwardly looking at the floor say fine, fine, and yourself? then mention the weather, something.. I dunno. Just make conversation. This is the core of becoming a better conversationalist.
2) Over come fear.
Stop putting so much thought into one situation. Rejection happens. If you can't vibe well with a girl on a conversational level, it'd probably be nearly impossible for you to vibe with her later as well.. so just meet someone else.
3) Get through the first few minutes
Most men don't realize this, but 99% of the first few minutes of your conversation with any woman aren’t about HER, they are about her PERSONA. A woman will play all sorts of games to block your progress so she can slow things down and maintain control. The last thing she wants to happen is for things to get hot and heavy too quickly, which may cause you to lose respect for her -- at least, this is what she believes. Even if a woman really likes you, she’ll probably be resistant at first, play hard to get, and even act uninterested. Some women get nervous around men, especially when they’re attracted to him. Don’t take any of this stuff personally, just be patient and persist.
4) Appeal to her weird side.
Every woman has a weird, dorky, off-beat side, but most men don’t get to see or interact with this side for very long. The key is for you to know that this side of her is in there, and then to talk to it and draw it out by teasing, latching on when you see it, etc. This is part of the key to giving her the experience of “I feel so comfortable with you,” and giving her the feeling that she’s known you for a long time. One way to do this is to call her a dork or a spaz or even a brat until you feel her shift. When she suddenly realizes you’re talking to that dorky side of her that few other men can bring out of her she'll begin to feel much more at ease with you. When you reach that point and get past a woman’s persona, that’s when MAGIC happens.
5) Get success minded.
Ties in with confidence. Do it.
Next up is humor.
As I said before you are trying to be different than the 34343452 other asses that go after her. So be funny.. IN YOUR OWN WAY. I mean if you arent that funny don't try too hard..lol You have to learn how to create attraction through humor.
Use this as a guideline.
http://www.askmen.com/dating/dating_top_ten_150/182_dating_list.html
It works.
Those three will work for now.
So in short.. be funny, be personable, and be confident.
There are tons of women out there who get hit on by hundreds of guys.. be different.
These traits are effective in meeting women and making friends.. they work.
An honorable mention would be.. Be different. I had a teacher who became a friend of mine..He was a PUA and didnt know it.. was ****y and funny, teased girls he talked to and it worked.. but thats a subject for a whole different post.. The thing that he did well was he was great at being a conversationalist.. this is because he just had a huge desire to learn. He was knowledgeable in everything from sports, current events, to philosophy, to different cultures.. This enabled him to be confident in having conversation.. because he knew what he was talking about, and also of course, made him a good conversationalist.
Guys knowledge is power.. Respect learning, be knowledgable in alot of things.. it helps.
My style is I pick on them but they know im joking.. but I like to show im intelligent too.. If a deep topic is brought up I'll say a few things.. I'm good with words. This humor, good conversation, confidence and now intelligence.. creates this aura of some what mystery. You have all these traits.. its diff. from the meat heads or the weirdos that they talk to.. you have depth to your character. It makes the girls want to figure you out.. They love it.
This is all for now.. Sorry its a bit unorganized.. my minds kinda all over the place.
Hope you enjoyed.
- Stone Cold Fox