My girlfriend and I were in bed last night. A while back while we were in 69, I stuck my finger in her azz and she had a tremendous orgasm so it's become routine that I do this. Well, last night when I slid my finger in, I felt something that I wasn't expecting. That's right, it felt like she wasn't far away from needing a trip to bathroom. I lost my erection immediately. She became quite upset, saying that I didn't want her, etc. I said I was having trouble breathing with her on top of me, and tried to pick up from there. She would have none of that, rolled over and went to sleep. This morning it became clear she wasn't buying my explanation as she began asking questions about why I lost interest so suddenly. I feel like if I am honest with her she will never let me do that again out of embarrassment and I hate to have limitations in the bedroom. What should I do, should I just tell her flat out that it's hard to stay in the mood when you are fingering schit or stick with my story as it is.
Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single
She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.
You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.
The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.
A strange occurrence
- Thread starter Old Buck
- Start date
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
ThunderMaverick
Master Don Juan
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Tell her to take a Goddamn enema.
MacAvoy
Banned
I don't know how to post pics but check out this essay.Danger said:
http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2118/2086073362_b9ca71a07e_o.jpg
http://i215.photobucket.com/albums/cc192/pics_SoK/scan0002.jpg
MacAvoy said:
hahaha.
this reminds me of the time in university when i teacher last minute made an exam an 'open book' exam (ie. you could look in your text book while writing the exam). this after i stayed up the night before studying.
at the end of my exam pamphlet i wrote "this is f*cking bullsh*t. if you're going to pull an open book, then tell us before so i don't stay up all night studying. this is f*cked and im not studying for another f*cking test in this f*cking class ever again."
thankfully she was a philosophy professor who was a really cool lady. when i got my exam back she had responded in red ink with "you have point. from now on i'll give advanced notice if a test will be open book."
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
kdnash82
Master Don Juan
This is funny as hell.... You touched her turd!!?? Did you lick you finger afterwards?
Dude... people take dumps. How was she suppose to know that everytime you guys have sex, you're gonna go sticking your finger in her butt?
In the heat of the moment when you guys are getting hot and heavy, is she suppose to say "Hold up a minute.. I'll be right back." Then go take a dump for fear that you're gonna stick ya finger in her bumb?
Dude... people take dumps. How was she suppose to know that everytime you guys have sex, you're gonna go sticking your finger in her butt?
In the heat of the moment when you guys are getting hot and heavy, is she suppose to say "Hold up a minute.. I'll be right back." Then go take a dump for fear that you're gonna stick ya finger in her bumb?
forgot to respond to the original post.
if you've fingered her 100 times and it was only the last time that you found a turd nugget, then just forget about it. if it only happens once in a 100 times its no big deal.
if the thought of sh*t touching your finger freaks you out, then what the hell are you doing sticking your finger in her *ss to start with?
i mean, come on dude, buy the ticket take the ride.
if you've fingered her 100 times and it was only the last time that you found a turd nugget, then just forget about it. if it only happens once in a 100 times its no big deal.
if the thought of sh*t touching your finger freaks you out, then what the hell are you doing sticking your finger in her *ss to start with?
i mean, come on dude, buy the ticket take the ride.
for poop to be that far down in her rectum it means that she should have felt like she really needed to take a dump - in which case she shoudl have told him no fingerbanging tonight.kdnash82 said:
whats possible is that she may have taken a dump and a small turd got stuck near her sphincter and didn't make it out. then when he stuck his finger up there he felt it.
but anyway, when turds get that close to your sphincter it usually means you gotta sh*t. she should have told him "babe, i might have a huge turd near my sphicnter, so you might get some of my sh*t on your finger today."
Last Man Standing
Banned
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You bastards are vulgar and retarded! What is so strange of having waste in your anus - this is where it belongs!!Old Buck said:
The "strange occurrence" is your finger!!chics LOVE *ssplay.Last Man Standing said:You bastards are vulgar and retarded! What is so strange of having waste in your anus - this is where it belongs!!
i haven't met a chic yet who didn't like taking it in the *ss. now mind you, first you have to bring that 'wild' side out of them.
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.