"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

Read more...

A strange new idea.

Maeisgood

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Nov 21, 2004
Messages
447
Reaction score
3
High school is nearly over for me. I graduate to a new forum I suppose. Since I'll never see any of my old high school peers again, what they think no longer matters. I could be more specific about my own social standing, but that would make this new thread too long. I'm am certainly no loser, so that is not the probelm. This thread is about my idea, not my high school social resume.

All of my threads have all in one way been about one girl. Oneitis is what I have. I talk to other girls and call them, but none seem to be my type. In high school, society is divided into groups. You're friends come from one group, your girlfriends come from the same group. This is because of interests and compatable personalities. This is why I feel so limited in who I could go out with.

I have accepted defeat in this whole Lauren thing. This is my strange idea:

What do you all think about my just simply asking her if she did like me at one time and I missed my chance, she just asked me to prom as a friend (even though we never really talked before than and I had no interest in her yet), or if she just used me and d!cks around with my head still? Or something to the effect of that and just worded differently.

It would no longer matter what high school people thought about me, we'd all be in different colleges soon. I could ask her towards the end of the summer. I haven't given up on girls, only her. I don't care about her or her *****y friends. I just want a replay of what happened to learn from. Hearing the truth from her, I could use it on other girls in college. I could share what I've learned with all of you. Some of you might be in the same situation as me. I have moved on from her, I don't care about her anymore, I'm still improving myself all the time, I just want information.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

Read more...

Joined
Dec 8, 2004
Messages
214
Reaction score
0
you are the most negative person on these boards. you can date whoever you want and be friends with whoever you want, regardless of what clique or group they're in.

move on. forget lauren. stop doting on her. cut her out of your life and forget anything ever happened between you two.
 

Reach

Don Juan
Joined
Mar 22, 2005
Messages
144
Reaction score
0
Getting heavy never works. If you're asking for approval from others it means you're looking in the wrong place.

There's a story where a man is looking outside of his house, up and down his street in a state. Eventually someone asked him, "What are you looking for?" "My keys!" "Well, where did you last have them?" "In my house." "Why are you looking outside then?" "Because it's brighter outside."

It may seem like it's better to get an opinion from outside of yourself, but until something happens from within it's pointless. Asking people questions is just procrstinating from doing something yourself.
 

Maeisgood

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Nov 21, 2004
Messages
447
Reaction score
3
I'm only thinking realistically. I've yet to see someone from one caste date one from another caste. I've never seen a goth holding hands with a jock or a skater with a anime geek. People within a group of friends seem to take turns with a select group of girls.

I am getting beyond her. I don't park near her, I don't call her, I don't IM her unless she IMs me first (I also don't sign on often in hopes that she will IM me), I changed my routes during school so I don't have to see her, and I talk only to other chicks.

The point of my question to see that since high school is now a thing of the past for me whether you all thought if there was a way to just see what went wrong so I can know not to make the same mistakes again. I'm really curious to see what her intentions were during the whole thing. One girl I was talking to said that she was just playing with my head. Lauren SEEMS like a nice person on the outside. She's openly religious (whether that's to gain attention or put herself on a moral pedistle like the "straight edge kids", I don't know), she kisses babies whenever she can (this is really hot), and is very bubbly and stuff. She volunteers for charity stuff too. I'm wondering if it's all an act.

Girls cover up their outsides with make-up, why not their insides with a kind of personality make-up?

Does anyone see what I'm getting at?
 

Underoath

Don Juan
Joined
Mar 26, 2005
Messages
12
Reaction score
0
Hey man, I wouldn't sweat it. It's your choice with what you want to do. Does she know that you like her? It may come across as a little weird when you go up to her and just say, "What went wrong? What were my mistakes?" You are semi-directly conveying that you have liked her the whole time. I haven't read this Lauren thread you've been talking about, so don't take it personally if I get this wrong.

It seems to me that you are using that "mistakes" dialogue as an EXCUSE in hopes of her showing remorse for her in liking you. I would advise not to do that. It shows so much neediness, that it's not even funny.

How about just go to PROM with her, have a good time, and not sweat it at all? If you feel the need to find out if she ever liked you..... then tell her you like her and you want to get to know her better. Then you share whatever you guys talk about. Try it out.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

Maeisgood

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Nov 21, 2004
Messages
447
Reaction score
3
She probably knows that I do. People talk a LOT in high schoo. Secrets are safe with no one. It's not that I'm afraid at all of asking her to do anything. But she has a boyfriend now and I don't want to be an ass and take his woman. I'm not like that. I'm too good of a guy for that. (Maybe that's an AFC property though and part of my probelm, but I feel that this situation is much deeper than that. When we used to hang out and do what I would call flirting, she and her friend would laugh and climb all over me and wrestle and say I was mean. I'm not sure if I'm an AFC or not. )

So I can't ask her to prom. I asked her to homecoming but she was already taken. She later said that she regretted not going with me though.

Since I'm not going to the same college as her or any of my old high school friends, my local reputation is immaterial to my future.

I have completely given up on her. That was the most commonly given advice to me. I was just wondering how I could approach her this summer about asking about what happened. Or maybe I could ask a friend of hers or something.

Another thought, I'm going to prom with her best friend who is pretty, but kind of a b!tch at times. Lauren will be there with her boyfriend. It's sort of too late to get another date, I don't want to ditch her friend. Plus I don't want her getting with some guy I know will turn her into a nasty ho. I'm going with her out of my own honour. Gosh this is so strange. I almost wished Lauren had never tried get me to go to prom with her last year. I wasn't even interested in her until this past summer sometime.
 

Void

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 2, 2004
Messages
634
Reaction score
5
Only your mind imposes limits.

(Evil-rom quote?)

300 club..
 

Maeisgood

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Nov 21, 2004
Messages
447
Reaction score
3
Underoath, I am looking for the reasons why it didn't work out. I guess they can be called "excuses." I will tell everyone how it went if I do indeed do it, but at the end of this summer.

Void, so you're saying that if I just believe in my mind that she is not taken, than I can get her? This is a lost cause.

Dastal, if I see her, her very visage and anything that reminds me of her makes me angry. She has become a symbol of defeat for me and I am trying to find new women. I'm so *****-whipped...

One of my biggest probelms is that I am very picky. Porno-hottness is not something I look for though. I like girls that are kind of pretty, not slutty and gross, and who are not *****es. Lauren fit all of this.
 

Bling

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 16, 2005
Messages
879
Reaction score
26
Location
Davie, FL
Originally posted by dastal
whats the big deal if you see her?

You never did that? I know I use to have my heart sink everytime I locked eyes with some girl, so I purposely kept away.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

Read more...

Top