A strange and different kinda break-up

[charlezz]

So this girl (a model HB9) and I were together for about 2 months, she is all over me and gave her virginity to me (she's 26, yah.. rare i know)

We have sex nearly everyday and they were great.

We have minor quarrels but eventually turned out well.

Her display of high interest.
1) always available for me
2) very worried that i will leave her
3) keep suggeesting plans
4) always want to stay over night with me and many many others. No signs of red flags and low interest.

Obviously I am standing on a position higher than her... till a stage she hint that she is afraid of falling in love too deeply. (I did everything correctly)

(Her friend once told her that she is behaving immature <relationship-wise> and she should be giving me more space)

I was quite aloof in the relationship honestly as I am quite a busy man.

So...

Last night, we (group of common friends with my gf) were hanging out at a disco and I got a bit drunk and chat up with a hot waitress. Apparently she wasn't happy about it, but neither did she make a big fuss till TODAY.....

My gf text me "so you like that waitress? Please go ahead and pursue her"

I ask her to chill and relax, its just nothing.

She then said its better we breakup.
I was like "WTF?"
She said she is falling too deeply in love with me and totally afraid that if one day i were to leave her, she will be totally devastated. Its better she end it early hurting rather than end it later with a devastated heart.. And she is hurting a lot in ending the relationship..

She keep mentioning its her fault and its better we just break up.

I delibrately text back AFC stuffs (Long msg of Love you this kinda thing) to coax her. But I know that she's in an emotional stage, she won't reply or answer my call (Called her 2 times).

First thing we guys will think that she has found "a better deal" but i highly doubt so since there is no signs of low interest and she is always available for me. Of coz i may be wrong though.

I figure that I will wait a few days later and call her back.. or shouldn't I?

 

[charlezz]

I don't think a girl whom have "high interest" will want to end the relationship first... Its confusing me.

 

[Iceberg]

Sounds like the typical bullsh!t fight. Give it a day or three, and you'll see how serious she is.

 

[PDubb75]

I hate to bring up my most recent relationship (as I have in so many posts already), especially since it's my current oneitis, but I had a similar situation.

Mine was because of distance (NY-Chicago). There was no realistic time frame when the relationship would no longer be long-distance as we both had jobs in our cities. She ended it because she didn't want it to get way too serious. She said she fell for me too hard, too quickly for us to only see each other 2 weekends a month. It hurt her too much every time I flew home or she flew home after visits.

That's what made it so hard for me. I can deal with knowing someone is over me. In fact, I would prefer that. In this case, I just keep thinking about ways I could fix this or how I could have prevented this. Knowing she still had feelings for me, and knowing my feelings, is what has caused this crazy oneitis I have never had before.

To your question, If she's serious about the reasoning, I say absolutely call her back and try to correct this. The feeling is obviously mutual. The problem is that a lot of guys here preach the strategy of doing exactly what you did; being in control and her seeing that you have other options. In this case, it seems that she's too threatened by the fact you may have options, and actually has the balls to deal with some pain now instead of more pain later. You may need to somehow show her that she's wrong in that thinking, and that staying with you doesn't necessarily mean she will be more hurt later.

But then the issue comes up of destroying this girl emotionally if you get her back now and dump her down the road. If you care...

 

[charlezz]

In this case, it seems that she's too threatened by the fact you may have options, and actually has the balls to deal with some pain now instead of more pain later. You may need to somehow show her that she's wrong in that thinking, and that staying with you doesn't necessarily mean she will be more hurt later

So how do i 'show' that staying with me doesn't necessarily mean she will be more hurt later? Being AFC? or..?

 

[PDubb75]

So how do i 'show' that staying with me doesn't necessarily mean she will be more hurt later? Being AFC? or..?

Unfortunately, I can't think of a good way. Without being a complete AFC, I mean.

Hopefully someone else has some input with how to handle this.

Best I can think of is simply call her out for her reasoning. She's afraid if you leave her one day she will be devastated? In her next relationship, is there no chance of the guy ending it? She's gonna pass up on something she is happy with because of a reasoning she has no basis for? Try throwing it back on her. Make her question the initial reasoning she had to end it.

If she truly is falling in love with you, you talking to a waitress shouldn't be enough for her to give it all up. So don't even bring that point up. It's done with, and I'm sure you already stated your case on it.

 

[SoSuave666]

Before everyone starts saying that too often people on this site preach basically "being alpha" I want to point out that this case is in fact the exception, if it's as the OP says. We are assuming that his girl actually DOES have continued high interest and is truthfully breaking up with him preemptively because she doesn't want to get hurt by him leaving at a later date. We are breaking a couple cardinal rules here: 1.) Going against our alpha logic and 2.) Trusting a woman's words over her actions.

1.) We as men are very logical. Women desire men that other women want. We know this. She doesn't want you to cheat, obviously, but she doesn't want you to have no social life with other women either. If we sit here and tell the woman that she is the only one for us, and no interactions you have had or are having with other women are a threat, you ruin the competitive anxiety that helps her hamster spin.

Remedy: Perhaps tone it down a notch. If she catches you flirting with some other girl, just look at her and smile and kiss her passionately. You are allowed to flirt, and if she can't deal with it then it's more her own insecurities than anything.

2.) We are trusting that she actually has high interest because she SAYS SO. What is the action though? Well, she broke up with the OP. How many times have we come on here and tried to justify a break up by saying some girl showed so many signs of interest but in the end still broke up with us. They can give you ANY bs reason they want. It doesn't matter to them because their actions are justified after the fact by their words. Not the other way around. Fact is, we cannot put a whole lot of faith in a clear example of an extreme variation to the mean. This outlier doesn't seem very reasonable. For one, it isn't long distance. I, like PDubb, have done long distance. I'm convinced distance ruined it for me both times. That's not the case here. There are no other outside factors or strains on this relationship that would feasibly make a woman go "He's too good for me." Remember: 'women are entitled to the best of the best.'

Remedy: It's OK to take chances on chicks. I'm not saying don't try and fix the situation; but rather be prepared for this to be the beginning of the end. I find it hard to believe that a model is going to be intimidated by 99% of men. If you are the 1% that actually DOES have this kind of hold on her, the fear of losing you would be FAR greater than the fear of keeping you...i.e she would never dump you.

Overall gut reaction: I'm sure you have high value in her eyes, it seems like you are doing things right and that she is into you. That's why I see this as like the "ultimate **** test" in a way. She's basically putting you to the test to see if you are man enough to lose her. She knows she can get other options and wants to reverse the power dynamic. I agree with Iceberg and think you should just wait a couple days and see how she reacts. Reach out to her after that, but not with anything too over the top. A simple "Hey haven't heard from you in a bit, how are you?" will suffice. If she really wants to break up with you, let her. It's really all you can do. If she wants to be with you, she will make herself available to you.

 

[charlezz]

Yes, she's that hot. A model with thousands of orbiters around her.

Of coz, DJ trained me attracted her and became her first man
<lost virginity to me> True. Rare but true

Update: My friend told me that She posted on Facebook that she is totally moody and heartbroken.. obviously due to our situation here

 

[SoSuave666]

Welp, any chick that breaks up with you because she's scared to lose you, then goes on facebook to complain about losing you and a broken heart....is a psycho. Also an AW to boot.

 

[charlezz]

Welp, any chick that breaks up with you because she's scared to lose you, then goes on facebook to complain about losing you and a broken heart....is a psycho. Also an AW to boot.

I kind of agree.. quite crazy and immature..

I want her, but don't need her.. similarly, I don;t want to lose her (within my means)

 

[PrettyBoyAJ]

I woulda hit her with this

I mean, I really can't understand where your coming from. I was feeling like the vibe between us was good and I thought you were mature enough to handle this situation that we have. If what you really said was true then you wouldn't be breaking up with me but I can understand that you have growing up to do

This girl is clearly not mature enough. You should definitely next her.

 

[Down Low]

So this girl (a model HB9) and I were together for about 2 months, she is all over me and gave her virginity to me (she's 26, yah.. rare i know)

Of coz, DJ trained me attracted her and became her first man
<lost virginity to me> True. Rare but true

A nine who's a 26-year-old virgin?

(Guffaw!)

 

[Iceberg]

A nine who's a 26-year-old virgin?

(Guffaw!)

Hahah. I know. I just left that alone because I figured it didnt have anything to do with his question.

But it's amazing what stories us men will buy into, if it feeds our egos. Some amazingly got HB9 goes 26 years without sex, but gives it up during their 2 months of dating. Naturally, because of this dude's once in a lifetime combination of charm, looks, and success.

 

[charlezz]

A nine who's a 26-year-old virgin?

(Guffaw!)

Add Asian into the equation. Perhaps that forms a better answer/ probability.

Then again. That doesn't have anything to do with the main question here.

Updates: She called. She's drunk. didn't talk much and hanged up.

Screwed Up girl.

 

[Down Low]

Add Asian into the equation. Perhaps that forms a better answer/ probability.

Your lie is transparent. You're asking us to play along with a fantasy. I'm not playing.

There are no yellow nines. They're too flat chested and/or flat azzed. Besides, 26 years old automatically bests at 8-2/3 due to age.

And I wouldn't believe the virgin part even if you said 22. Yellow guys don't know any better, and overrate their own population's unfortunate genetic pool. The extremely scarce ones with any curves at all -- would be background noise around whites -- but are swarmed by yellows as soon as they start to show any figure at all.

 

[PDubb75]

Caught my gf of 2months texting "love u, miss u" to another guy. And suspected her of staying with him a particular night as the guy "recorded" her sleeping snoring noise.

Does the above justify as "cheating"?

Intending to dump her in a few hours time. Will update what I do shortly.

Is this the same girl? Saw this in another thread... I refuse to believe anything you say now.

 

[charlezz]

Is this the same girl? Saw this in another thread... I refuse to believe anything you say now.

Yes Same girl. Just found out that day that she actually has text record of her and another guy.

Already nexted her.

But she is begging me to take her back.

I am already seeing another chick.

 

[charlezz]

Your lie is transparent. You're asking us to play along with a fantasy. I'm not playing.

There are no yellow nines. They're too flat chested and/or flat azzed. Besides, 26 years old automatically bests at 8-2/3 due to age.

And I wouldn't believe the virgin part even if you said 22. Yellow guys don't know any better, and overrate their own population's unfortunate genetic pool. The extremely scarce ones with any curves at all -- would be background noise around whites -- but are swarmed by yellows as soon as they start to show any figure at all.

lol. U are 52 and i can't believe you made the comment of "there are no yellow nines". "26 years old automatically bests at 8-2/3 due to age."
Maybe let me bring you around when you are in my country. fyi, the girls i am gaming are models, not your average girls u see on the streets.

But anyway, I will post pics when I am free (and figuring how to post pics on sosuave) just for fun or judgement.

Asian DJ here btw.

 

[Down Low]

lol. U are 52 and i can't believe you made the comment of "there are no yellow nines". "26 years old automatically bests at 8-2/3 due to age."
Maybe let me bring you around when you are in my country. fyi, the girls i am gaming are models, not your average girls u see on the streets.

But anyway, I will post pics when I am free (and figuring how to post pics on sosuave) just for fun or judgement.

Asian DJ here btw.

You should surrender now and stop humiliating yourself. What kind of dumb fvck automatically assumes than an American, who has had decades of access to all types of women, needs an "Asian DJ" tour guide?

 

[betheman]

So this girl (a model HB9) and I were together for about 2 months, she is all over me and gave her virginity to me (she's 26, yah.. rare i know) ...

couldnt take this seriously after that comment