"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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A Stoic Way of Thinking

J

johnhat57

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I've been reading a lot of stoic works lately (Seneca, MA, etc.) and one theme that continually arises is that we will all die (memento mori). By focusing on this inevitability, we can appreciate the moment and not be attached to an outcome.

I just broke up with a girl and while this one isn't the worst breakup I've ever had, it still stings. I'm starting to realize that I should have incorporated these stoic thoughts into my relationship. If I had constantly reminded myself that the relationship would inevitably ended and prevented myself from romanticizing her, I would have been able to end this with a smoother landing.

Thoughts? BigNeil - some of your posts got me on this train of thought. I'd really be interested in your perspective.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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resilient

resilient

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Great thread, OP.

@Reykhel and @ChristopherColumbus might have some valuable feedback. They are active stoic thinkers on this forum.

Check out my thread on Marcus Aurelius.

Other stoic philosophers:
  • Cato the Younger
  • Epictetus
  • Simplicius of Cilicia
  • Bernard Stiegler
  • Eckhart Tolle (modern day author influenced by Seneca and Epictetus)
Along the lines of this philosophy on death, in my 20s I was influenced by the book Hagakure: The Way of the Samurai.

The book records Tsunetomo's views on bushido, the warrior code of the samurai. Hagakure is sometimes said to assert that bushido is really the "Way of Dying" or living as though one was already dead and that a samurai must be willing to die at any moment in order to be true to his lord. His saying "the way of the warrior is death" was a summation of the willingness to sacrifice that bushido codified.​

Excerpts are read in a cool ol' school movie, Ghost Dog that is worth checking out. Also a killer soundtrack by RZA of Wu-Tang Clan fame.



Emptiness is Form. Excerpt begins at 02:01
 
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wifehunter

wifehunter

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I agree...internal dialog or self talk, is key.

It helps with posture, and attraction.

Stay positive!
 
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