A small question about resturants

[Ace of Flames]

When you take a girl out to a resturant, and they give you a booth, do you sit across from her, or on the same side as her? Last date I went on, I sat next to her, to be closer. I figured it was a confident thing to do. But maybe the usual across is better, to make eye contact easier. I dunno.

What do you prefer, or what do you think is better?

 

[flexion_]

I'd change it up - for the most part sit across. Its dinner afterall and many women are a bit touchy with public affection initially. But once in awhile if you both are flirtly and sharing desert then switch it up and scoot over beside her.

In a loud bar/pub restaurant usually beside is better too just because you can't hear each other otherwise.

 

[Kourt]

I would sit across, on first date at least anymore, much better eye contact and easier to hold a conversation

 

[rocky_mtn]

I say sit across, always if its just two of you. You don't want to be like a scab always attached to her. Looking her in the eyes while talking is much more powerful than sitting next to her.

You can sit side by side in the car, but when out to eat across from each other is better.

Even at a table with 4 chairs, I usually find sitting across is better than side by side.

 

[toasttopper1879]

Sit facing.Side to side would be like being at school or something formal.

 

[hi2u]

Sit across for sure. Talking to someone next to you is painful and awkward.

 

[niceguydying]

I agree with everyone else, definitely across. As pointed out makes it easier to communicate. Only drawback of course if you guys are digging each other you can't get up close and personal.

 

[Delta]

yeah,

sit facing.... the only time i've EVER sat next to her was when she moved in next to me.

in this case, it doesn't seem like a confidence/assertion thing... more like "i want to cuddle with you sweetie" thing and you definitely want this coming off the woman, not yourself.

delta

 

[wheelin&dealin]

When you take a girl out to a resturant, and they give you a booth, do you sit across from her, or on the same side as her? Last date I went on, I sat next to her, to be closer. I figured it was a confident thing to do. But maybe the usual across is better, to make eye contact easier. I dunno.

What do you prefer, or what do you think is better?

Sit across from her for the most part. Then when you feel like it get up and go to the bathroom, come back and sit on her side. Kino away..

 

[decomposer]

Very true

Good work, man. Sitting next to a woman is much better than across. It's less "formal" and you feel and are closer to her physically. It alos portrays your confidence. In my program which will soon come out - "Powerful First Date" I talk about the improtance and the right way to commence a physical escalation on a first date. Sitting next to a woman is one of those many little things that effectively distinguish you from other guys.

Thanks.

Arkady Itkin
www.practicalhappiness.com

 

[ARrocket]

Sit across from her for the most part. Then when you feel like it get up and go to the bathroom, come back and sit on her side. Kino away..

I was just thinking about this the other day. Do you guys agree?

 

[Bible_Belt]

I think it's creepy to sit next to her when it is only the two of you. fwiw, and this is only one girl, but my gf and I saw a couple sitting like that the other day, and she commented about how she thought it was weird.

Another politeness tip is to let her choose which of the two seats to sit in. Obviously, dating is not a politeness competition, but it has its place in the right mix of traits to show a woman. Being polite in a chivalrous, door-opening way is not the same as being a suckup.

 

[MotownMack]

I think it's creepy to sit next to her when it is only the two of you

I agree.

Absolutely sit across for her for a first date. Sitting next to her could come off controlling and aggressive, and is awkward for conversation.


A few times when the date was going well and warming up, I've come back from the bathroom and playfully scooted her over to sit down beside and her, which has gone over well (I don't advise it unless you're 90% she's into you-don't do it to try to get her into you, that should have been accomplished before attempting this). It's a good body language test, to see how see reacts. I've done this a few times with good success.

 

[BeyondCharm]

I agree.

Absolutely sit across for her for a first date. Sitting next to her could come off controlling and aggressive, and is awkward for conversation.


A few times when the date was going well and warming up, I've come back from the bathroom and playfully scooted her over to sit down beside and her, which has gone over well (I don't advise it unless you're 90% she's into you-don't do it to try to get her into you, that should have been accomplished before attempting this). It's a good body language test, to see how see reacts. I've done this a few times with good success.

Wrong! Wrong! Wrong!

Read my lay report from last night, where I sat next to the girl on our First date ever.

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=144182

 

[BeyondCharm]

I think it's creepy to sit next to her when it is only the two of you. fwiw, and this is only one girl, but my gf and I saw a couple sitting like that the other day, and she commented about how she thought it was weird.

Another politeness tip is to let her choose which of the two seats to sit in. Obviously, dating is not a politeness competition, but it has its place in the right mix of traits to show a woman. Being polite in a chivalrous, door-opening way is not the same as being a suckup.

You need to be aware that because you "believe" its creepy, to her, it subconsciously communicates creepyness. This is your belief, you created it, and you can change it.

I believe its comfortable and adds comfort and allows for increased kino. Differing points of view, and I have a proven success record doing it my way. I also have sat across and that works also, but I actually prefer next to eachother..

BUT... the table or booth must be designed for it. If I am sitting on a square table, with 2 chairs on each side, I always sit across.

 

[MotownMack]

Read my lay report from last night, where I sat next to the girl on our First date ever.

I am absolutely convinced that you're wrong on this one, regardless of you LR, so let's just agree to disagree.

I did say I have used it, and it can be an effective technique, but it depends where you are in the rapport process. If you're having success with it doing it right off the bat, great-but it's not what I would suggest for most guys.

It's a gamble I just don't usually take that early on.

If I am sitting on a square table, with 2 chairs on each side, I always sit across.

This puzzles me. Explain it. Why in the world would it be ok to trap her in the corner of a booth, but not acceptable to sit close to her at 4 top, where is far less conspicuous?

 

[theunflushables]

Didn't they have this discussion on Seinfeld?

Anyways, I have to say it depends on the situation. If its the first date, sit across, its all about the eye contact. If things start to pick up, then maybe.

One night a girl that I've been working on and I were out drinking. We've known each other for a few years now and we get to talking about the past and stuff and it comes out that there has always been interest on both our parts about hooking up however the timing has been off (relationships and what not). Now that I'm single again and she's soon to be we start flirting and bull****ting and its incrediably hard to hear in the place due to the noise so I slide into the booth next to her. I tell you by the end of night when we said goodbye, we were so close to making out. Damn my one moral flaw, I won't help someone cheat.

 

[BeyondCharm]

Motown, first let me make a comment. It's actually ok to do whatever you want, sit in any seat you'd like, and do anything you damn well please when going out with a woman. She is looking to win you over, you're the prize, and if your expectations and standards are to meet a woman who likes sitting where you tell her to sit, then by all means, tell her where to sit. If you don't care, then let her choose.

Every man for himself has his own style and comfort in doing things a certain way. The reason I look sitting next to her in a booth is because its rounded shape lets you look at each other and perform kino. If you sit side by side, you are looking forward, and you have to turn to the side. When I say booth, i'm referring to rounded booths, shaped like semi-circles or a C. I'm not referring to square booths either, where once again i'd probably sit across.

I did sit side by side in a booth once and we had to turn to look at each other and it was a bit of a back-strain so I moved across.

 

[ARrocket]

So it is an effective tool, but use with caution, and only when you're sure she's into you. Makes sense to me.

 

[I.A.F.Y.B.]

Sit across from her.