A short circuit in my brain, someone call the mechanic please! (Help needed)

[DJsomeday]

Guys i think i've realized something about myself. I'm kind of a chubby but i am working out every day, i went to be 113kg to 81 kg in 2 years and a half, nevertheless i still have weight to lose because i was REALLY obese at that time.

Why do I tell you all this? Because i think i've realized i'm not ready for sex yet. I'm a little self conscious about my weight, i mean i AM confident and all but i just came to the realization that if i had sex with a girl i wouldn't feel comfortable and i would probably be self conscious the entire time. I'm trying to think how to change that because i just noticed that i don't feel comfortable with my naked body, i can dress the part and look hot or at least ok with clothes on but i don't really find my body sexeh!.

I think in my mind it goes like this:

I don't like fat girls and probably wouldn't have sex with them, that's one of the reasons i work out, i don't like to ask for what i can't give so i feel like i don't "deserve" or like sex is not gonna be as enjoyable with me as it should.

OMG, i know this might be sounding lame but i've never actually verbalized this thoughts not even in my brain until now. I do flirt with girls and i keep my skills up by using C&F, chillin' and not trying to hard, so i guess i should focus now on my skills and not look for a sex close (i have made out already btw)??? I'm gonna keep working out for like forever, so i think it will be ok to just tune up my skills so when i am really ready to enjoy sex the way it's suppossed to i won't be a lousy playah! haha.

What are your thoughts about this? I must make clear that i don't hate myself or anything else i know myself very well and i love the person that i am, i just think this person needs to prepare itself for the goodies that come ahead, at least in the physical department.

Thoughts? Please no flaming this has been really hard for me to realize and admit, so i would appreciate you to say things in the best way possible. Thanks a lot guys you're the best!!!

 

[WC2]

Sounds to me like you need some pride. Do my a favor - get a piece of paper and write down 25 things you can do/you are good at. And be honest. Look at that paper and suck it in. You're most likely better than half of the men out there.

Then write down 5 things you need to improve on. Start doing it. RIGHT NOW. Sex has a lot to do with self-confidence. You're right, if a woman doesn't feel like you're confident, she will most likely not be turned on. So improve yourself. You should feel confident doing everything. Theres not a second in my day where I say "Oh well I'm not good at that or I can't do that". Bull****. I know I'm better than 99% of the other idiots out there.

Improve. Get a new mindset.

Oh yeah - do it for yourself, not WOMEN

 

[Huffman]

Not ready for sex?
Body not good enough?
FOR HER!?

The idea of yourself not being good enough for her is your very problem, be it your body or whatnot.
Girls check you out very carefully. If she's giving you signs of interest, she'll not only want you, but also your body.
Alas, get a new mindset (see above).

On sex:
It's not so much about looking than about touching and feeling. Hell, you even have dim lights most of the time. Know that she wants to feel you, not see you. Let yourself go, you should have watched enough porn to know what's good

 

[DJsomeday]

Thanks for your replys guys i AM confident like i'm totally ok with my person and i don't think "I'M USELESS I SUCK!" and stuff it's just that i'm not comfortable enough with my body at this moment, let me explain something.

As i was losing weigh i started losing all this bad habits that i did because i was so self conscious, like never wearing a T-shirt alone (always needed sometihng like a shirt to hide chubbyness), feeling uncomfortable when i was sitting somewhere (using arms to cover a little and stuff) and things like that.
I was all over those things but in 2007 i started gaining some weigh back and i messed up, now on 2008 i'm losing all the weight i gained again but not only did i gain weight but i'm recovering all those stupid bad habits little by little.

Now i'm sure that if i stick to my good excersicing and eating habits i can get to a much better wait say by june, and that's not too far away, so don't you think i should work on MYSELF first and on less important things later?. I KNOW sex is amazing and stuff, but don't you think feeling good about my body is much more important?.

EDIT: BTW this has nothing to do with HER perception of me, i know if someone agrees to have sex with me it's because she finds me somewhat attractive to say the least, it's about ME about me not feeling comfortable like that, i'll give you a quick example to illustrate.

Example: There is a soccer competition that's open all year, but you suck at soccer right now, would you train and wait a little to feel more confident about your skills and actually be better or would you enter now and probably not only play a bad part but not feeling well about it!. I don't care about waiting for it for a while i still can make out and dance and party with lots of girls!.

 

[Huffman]

Example: There is a soccer competition that's open all year, but you suck at soccer right now, would you train and wait a little to feel more confident about your skills and actually be better or would you enter now and probably not only play a bad part but not feeling well about it!. I don't care about waiting for it for a while i still can make out and dance and party with lots of girls!.

1. You DON'T suck at soccer right now.
2. It is not a single competition that's open all year, but rather a new competition every single day.

Keep on training, but don't waste all those opportunities.

Now listen mate:
You are afraid of bad performance. Your entire post is dripping with that fear. Do not deny it.
No amount of waiting will make you lose that fear. Nothing will, instead of taking action. Right now.
The day on which you're "ready" will never come.
Also keep in mind that you cannot lose anything from trying (at least in the context of having sex).
You got to do it. And deep down, you know it.

Only then will you see that it is you who are mistaken. And that you've been ready all along.