a second start (azrael's log)

[azrael]

I’ve been meaning to start or better said re-start an approach Journal .I don’t need to talk to random people to be at ease in public, I got that part cover I just need to start taking the plunge and when I talk to girls, go at it like there is no tomorrow(I mean go for the kill, or at least their phone number).
Keeping this log will help me to continue using my English, at least the writing part until I find some people that speak the language so I can improve my pronunciation. (hopefully hot girls)

So this will be my log. I’ll only update when I do something that will take me in the right direction or something that I don’t usually do.
Most of my approaches are done during the day or as part of my everyday living: busses, campus, the mall, nothing fancy.
The goal of these interactions is to find women get to know them and be sexual with them with the least monetary ,time and mind effort (if that can be done under these circumstances).
Now I only have kiss 2 girls and has been in 2 dates and gotten 4 #, still trying to get a second date (both of them has run to the hills after the first date).

Day 1 prologue
It was a Thursday 11/2/2010 at night time.
I have just got out of my last class and it was raining, I cross the street to take a bus(a lot of my stories are bus related) anyway , I take shelter from the rain in a parking lot entrance ,there are other people there. But I girl caught my eyes, or at least her breast did (it was beautiful) damn I want to talk to her but I am a *****.
I see that she is looking at me or has an lazy eye , I choose the former so I decided to talk to her ,flux talk nothing mayor, a bus came , I thought it was my bus (without even saying farewell I got in), she followed me and also took it , at first we were standing, some more talk but nothing memorable, .the bus cleared a little bit and I sat in the from row she sat a couple of rows behind me , some glances here and there .fast-forward
She got down the bus a corner earlier than I thought she would (at this point in my story I know the area she lives and some other useless ****) and I am thinking f*ck!!
F*ck it!! I say to myself and got down as well. (I never have done something like this) HEY!! I shout but she cannot hear me so I walk faster to get to her. OMG you scared me she said, I did not apologize. Now I got her name and was thinking in a way to ask for her #, for some reason I was nervous, like in that job interview two years ago. My mouth was dry and my saliva turn white I could barely talk (I was ask to read something, it was a call center job) which made even more nervous, I did not get that job, I thought we would get in the same car(public car) and then I would lay down the magic (or something like that) but only one seat was available ,she hesitate for a moment weather to get in or not ,she got in. “take care of yourself” she said.
Day 8 18/2
I saw her again we were in a bus but I could not talk to her (it was crowded). We only said hi in a moment she glanced in my direction.
near my stop the bus was half empty and I thought “it is now or never” she looks at me and I show her my phone and almost in a inaudible voice “give me your #” she said sure I pass it to her and she write her cell and house #. Yeah!!!!!
Day 11 21/02 I was not feeling nervous but neither wanted to call, I was bore so I texted her at 5:40 pm”-what’s up?” –what was I thinking—
No reply. I have forgotten why I don’t like texting.
22/02 straight to voice mail (I don’t want to call the home #)
23/02 at this point the nervousness is gone. I say **** it and call her again (same sh7t again) call the home # it just rings like 5 times and I realize she did not gave me her real numbers (weather by mistake or not).
This is the 1st time this happens to me. (Maybe because I have only ask for 4 girls #, I now lame) But I feel good instead of wondering about this girl I met I took action (probably not the smoothest action but action nonetheless).
I met her today 25/2/10 she gets in the bus,I don’t look at her but when she pass by me she game her notebook to hold she was standing (I did not talk to her ) I was listening to music and I didn’t knew if she wanted to talk to me or not.
Almost at my stop she touches my seat from behind and was like hey wake up I said what up. And then ask her to come here show her number she gave me and ask her if that was her #. She ask mine and call me right there, now I got a working # .gave her seat and get off the bus. At around 930 I texted her (she did not reply) so I call her at 950 and talk to her for about 8 minutes (some silences in the convo my fault but she found questions to ask me and no nervousness on my part yeahh) it’s on baby.
Or so I thought call her today 3/3/10 a good convo for about 20 mins. I was my real self (I tend to be polite at 1st encounters and then progressively let people know my witty-crazy self, but I was just me this time making remarks and sh7t)
I ask her if she has a boyfriend, she said yes,(I did not mean to do this it just happen I was gonna ask her to “hang” at a park or at the mall), and then she explains to me that they have been together, in secret, for a year and like 3 years public.
After this it would have been ludacris after I little while I tell her I needed to get ready to work and hang up.

 

[azrael]

3/8/2010
I met this girl at the bus stop, she ask me where the bus was heading. I told her.
She goes to buy something and comes back. She reengages me and now talks about a candy she was gonna buy but thinks it’s too expensive (I was going to offer to put half of the money and we could share but I did not do that I just keep talking to her).
++some more talk ++ I cannot remember it
The bus came (she is behind me in line) I look for a seat where she can join me, even thought she is not suppose to nor I have tell her to, there is one in the back I go there she follows me (there where seats where she could have seated if she wanted to).
I offer her gum
+++++++++++more fluff talk++++++++you know work school and all sort of things
When she found out where I work(a pizza place) she told me she would go there to get free pizza (all girl ask me questions about my j.o.b. and what do I do there and what pizza they like the most, why ? beats me).

Then she goes into Christian/evangelical mode and is tryng to talk me into god and saving my soul, I was smiling almost laughing the whole time(i was not making fun of her but I found it amusing when people try to talk me into things).

At one point she ask me how much did I make(I once went out with a girl and ask her this very same question , I have no particular reason to do so and then I realize it’s just weird for a complete estranger to ask you this sort of questions) I gave her a bogus answer.

+++++She calls someone +++++

I ask her what model her phone is. It’s a w705 and I show her mine (a c510)
We talk about phones and she ask me why my phone was in English, I speak English I said and when I learn French I’ll put it in French (it my default answer to this question) and she was smiling and looking at me like so you speak English, ha (maybe I sound a little bit pretentious when I said it (she said her boyfriend’s cell is also in English)

****After a little while***almost at my stop

**I know she said she has a boyfriend but that is not stopping me today**

(I go as usual handing her my phone)
Give me your #.
Don’t you think it is too soon?.
I’m asking for your # not a kiss
Lol(she complies)
Don’t think I am eas…/slut…(but did not finish the word).??????????????????
I call the # so it is save in my phone and she tells me it is her work cell phone # (huh).
Now you got my #. You can hide from me if you want to (I don’t think she hear what I said)
You probably not gonna call me
Well see

and i got off the bus and hit her window when i was leaving.

 

[azrael]

⇈⇈⇈⇈⇈⇈⇈⇈
nothing pans out of those interactions above. but that's not why i came to the boards
moving on

There is this girl that works with me (I know another coworker) she’s the co supervisor, she’s young and kinda cute (hb6) maybe lower by the forums standards but whatever.

As she is my supervisor I cannot really hit on her but I’ve been working my magic .touching her here and there I kiss her neck and as she oppose no resistance I continue doing standard stuff like that and I’ve notice that she bumps me every now and then, and is find reasons to talk to me and all that jazz that girls do when they find someone appealing…

…anyway

The other day another coworker was sitting in my lap and she called her and told her that she can sit in anyone else s lap but not mine (lol).

And then I say that I was hitting on a client and she gets mad (I was not hitting on the client btw)

I ask her later in the walk in cooler why was she mad she said because she was jealous (women are crazy)
but you guys already knew that…

A group of us go out after work to drink it was late and the places to go were closing down so we headed to eat some food instead, after that she drove the other people to their houses and the me ( her past behavior let me know that I can try to kiss her when she drove me but I was too scare of the consequences/ facing her the other day so I restrain)


Preface is over now to the good and bad stuffs

 

[azrael]

A couple of days later…

Again another let go out drinking plan is set to practice, I was not gonna go this time but in the end I did.

We only stay at the place for an hour or so, one of the guys was in his neighborhood so he was set another one has a bike and there is only one girl to take home .

After we took her home we got kinda lost and have a long conversation (she has a boyfriend, later I found out that this so call BF has a wife , so she is more of and lover than a GF) not that it matters.

I don’t really remember the convo sequence that well but she talk about the attraction that she felt for me and other stuffs , she said I was not into her (at this point I knew for sure she was gonna be mine).

Before I step out of her car I told her

Azrael: I know we cannot be together but at least I want a kiss from you.
She: only a kiss?
A: yeah(as I pull her in put my hand behind her neck ,started caressing it and begin kissing her, my lips and face were kind of numb from the drinking, kissing her felt alright but nothing to write home about).

I’ve read that you should pull out first so I did, her eyes were half open and she was almost panting (damn I am a good kisser or so it seems)

I make out with her some more and the say our good byes

She: this is something that won’t happen again
A: yeah (whatever you say honey)

 

[azrael]

Yesterday

We were at work but we did not get once chance to talk (too many people around)

I knew / thought today was the day (I don’t know why I just knew) so I took some rubbers with me (ABP)

But as there were so many people there and this is a secret operation I just headed home ( well I stop with a coworker to drink some beers, even before we bought the 1st one I got a call)

She: I guess you don’t want to give me kisses no more
A: of course I want babe but I got not a chance to talk to you. Where are you?
She:*close from we work and not too far away from where I was*(she was driving a couple of females coworkers home)
A: so come meet me at zyx place, even thought *coworker name is with me*

She thought my friend was listening to this convo(he was not) I battle for the best way to resolve this ordeal and I told her come over i'll get rid of him, she complies. I told him that I was called and needed to go.

We meet up I wanted to go to a motel she did not, I told her alright lets park some where

She: a place where we won’t be disturbed. Do a lot of cars go by near your house?
A: no .let’s go there

We get hot and heavy in the car but she’s saying that we won’t be having sex tonight and that this is the last time that she will go out with me (she already said that so probably she does not mean it)

I am grabbing her tits and rubbing her ***** and every time she told me to let her go i said no and then kiss her.

I get her tits out and started kissing them(at this point she was on top of me in the passenger front seat, she tasted like fabric detergent which is kinda weird but I made no remarks about it.

I made her grab my Johnson and then whip it out, she is jerking me now( she sucks at it) so I choose to guide her to blow me instead

A: let’s see how deep can you take it (as I force/push her head down, a couple of seconds later I ask if she is aright. I guess she was but let go anyway she was gagging and laughing.



Almost towards the end ….

She: we won’t be having sex and this is the last time this will happen
A: well if this is the last time let s do the whole thing
She: no(not a no like that but that was the feeling)
A: you are killing me babe I cannot go home like this
She: I know you should not
A: so blow me
She: but I won’t swallow
A: this is a give from me to you (the seed) you can do as you please with it

she blow me a little bit and then...
She: all right do you have a condom
A: yes

There was a switch in her and now she will let me bone her, but as she got in the place I was and I grab the rubber from my back pack I lost my erection

**** .I ask her to blow me a little but no dice the little ****er has let me down

I told her that I wanted to see her ***** and I work my way to a hole( I am not really sure with one, I have not much experience in this kind of matters).
It was tight. extremely tight . I have my middle finger in almost all the way (I ask her where am I? and she said in the best place) in the top it was hard as a rock and when she contracted it, it almost push my finger out. So I trust my finger in and out for a few minutes while I watch her quiver in pleasure.

I took it out and lay on top of her and smell the finger it did not smell like **** so I figure it was her *****

When she sat back in the driver seat I put the finger under her nose and said “this is how you smell honey”
She: you are so gross I’ve been working all day. (He he he)
So to recap I have some performance issues due to anxiety but I get to do a lot of things for the first time even doe that is kind of sad because I am 24yo.
I finger a girl suck some boobs and was gonna get some poon if problems have not kill me.
When she was gonna leave her BF called her but she did not answer .she called me when I was in the shower, when I saw the lost call I called her back but I got a busy tone (she was talking with her BF)
She called me back
She: sorry I could not answer
A: don’t worry. Who were you talking to? (stupid question)
She: my BF
A: I saw your last call and I worry a little bit
She: I know sorry
A: it aright I just wanted to know you got home safe
She: don’t hang up I want to talk to you
***going back a little bit**
When we kiss for the first time according to her when she got home she rub herself thinking about me but as I only wanted to know she got home safe he did not told me)
A: listen I don’t really enjoy talking in the phone I like to be face to face you know what i mean
She: yeah I love all the things we were doing a while ago
Something more that I can not quite remember and then we hang up

and that's all i don't know if i will ever get another chance to be with her as her is looking for another job

lets see how things evolve

I've let out some bit of info because i think that will make the post too long

 

[azrael]

yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yay!!!!!!!
the day after last post
I text-ed her and she reply right away we text for an hour and then talk in the phone for 2.46 hours(longest by far I’ve talk in the phone)
And after that she has kept contacting me
Anyway the reason of the post

I finally **** a girl (the one I talk in my last post) after I got out of school this morning she came and meet me to go somewhere. (She called me and arrange this meeting)It was suppose to be to this pizzeria right next to the sea (it looks cool).(at 1st i dint knew where were we going)

(At first I’ve been telling her that I wanted to go to a motel, but she said no dice.) anyway we are almost parking (at the pizza place) and
She: do you really want to eat here
A: no.
She: alright let’s go somewhere else (we were close to some motels)
And we get there. A little bit of foreplay

A: I want to be inside of you (bareback)

It was only for a bit then I pull out to put on a rubber (again the ****er when down when I was putting the rubber on) I broke the rubber with my hands.

I started touching her and get hard again, reach for another one and I started to get limp again wheb i try to put it on.

I decided to go bareback again (pounding hard) she ask me if I was wearing one, I said no, so she wanted me to stop.

Little resistance but she let me get my way anyway (I was not planning going bareback but I was not gonna be able to perform with the rubber, and I really wanted to bone)

I pound hard for a while then slow but I kept getting limp like 3 times and I needed to pull out and do something else until I got it up back(which I think is f*cking weird)

Aghh so I feel like I’m going to come and pull out and finish in her belly (but I am not quite sure if I spill some of it inside of her (I told her that and I thought she was gonna go ballistic but she was calm and I thought that I was gonna freak the f-uck out but I am calm (I ask her if she wanted a kid she said no and I reply me neither , we need to get you one of those pills)
and what is weird is that I don’t really know when i stop caring if I care at all. **who knows what other stuffs I can do and be at peace**


**Back to the story**

I get her to blow me a little bit, pound for a while then we took a shower

**she gave me an speech about how I should not go around fu-cking girls bareback (I know I should not, but did not told her that there are no girls and that this was kinda my 1st time. But I told her that it was my 1st time in a motel which was true.



(a while after she drop me of she called me and told me that she bought the pills.)
Know I need to figure out why I kept getting limp and why I could not use the rubber
and the sex felt average not that i got a comparison point but it was probably due to my inexperience