A Reflection on the "Don Juan" Philosophy

[Alex DeLarge]

A lot of people come to this board to seek out "How to get my ex-girlfriend back" "How to get girls" or "How to get laid". That's how I originally came here, and I'm sure that's how the rest of us originally came here. This site has truly helped me grow, not just in the stance of my sexuality and understanding of sexual relationships, but psychologically as well as philosophically.

When I came to this board I was in a rut of depression. I was lonely. I was ugly. I was a scared little boy in the real world. I had not been in the company of a woman for two years. I hated myself.

I thought the only thing I was missing in life was the company of a woman, that I was doing all right other than that.. But I learned something. I learned to love myself. I stopped being a "self-loathing" man embarrassed of my masculinity. I learned that anything is possible if I set my mind to it. I learned to not be walked on and stick up for myself regardless of what reaction I may receive from my peers for doing so. I learned that having a woman is not necessary in life, but beneficial (given that you both get along together.)

There are a lot of really important things I learned from this board. If you have ever read Plato's "The Allegory of the Cave" it is truly what I felt. This site rescued me from my shackles, the skewed shadows on the wall and docile happiness; emerging from the cave to a new reality that is my own. I perceive things differently now and see them in a new light. (For example: You see a man in a bookstore perusing the "self-help" section. The old me thought "Wow what a loser I wouldn't be caught dead checking those books out!" The new me thinks "Good for him, he's taking the initiative to grow as a person and exit the vicious cycle which entraps him.") This is something I truly believe thwarts many peoples' efforts to exit that vicious cycle. A fear of judgement.

There are much more important things to learn from this website than pick-up lines. Life lessons on how to be a strong person both mentally and physically. Reading Napoleon Hill's "Think and Grow Rich" also inspired me greatly.

I truly believe that we should not seek out the solutions on "how to get a girlfriend" etc... But to gain the wisdom of inner game and just being a strong person. Having a great woman by your side will be the fruits of your labor in this perennial journey. I have been lurking this site for about a year now (joined around May). I am a much stronger person thanks to the DJ Bible, loads of inner game material I have read, and the exchange of thoughts and ideas between posters (both positive and negative).

I feel that I have grown in wisdom in this past year and I have a burning desire to keep growing, keep learning, and keep achieving.

 

[Chamber36]

yeah inner game is 10x more important than outer game. I had the outer game covered all along. I still do. It's just inner game I have to work on. We all have to keep working on our inner game.

 

[corrector]

But you are still a virgin.

 

[Alex DeLarge]

But you are still a virgin.

And what's your point? I've come beyond this stigma attached to virginity which society views as relative to masculinity and social standing. I've excelled in many areas of life which I'm proud of. I'm only 22 and lived my dream of playing in and touring with a rock band throughout the United States, Canada, and Mexico which I also booked myself. I don't need to lose my virginity to some imbecile party girl (which are about 99% of women in my town) to prove anything to myself or anyone else for that matter.

 

[joverby]

I like the post Alex, admisdt the sea of "HALP! MY GF DOESNT LUB ME NO MOORE!" type of posts, this is refreshing.(That type of post is exactly why I came here so don't feel bad anyone who made one like that)

I agree completely. This site has helped transform me as a person. Make me more confident and knowledge, a lot of that knowledge is aimed towards women(obviously) but can be applied to other situations as well.

When I re-joined my band(after I'd been reading the site) one of my old band members commented on how I was different, talked different etc..More confident.

I've also pulled of some really audacious sh1t with girls I wouldn't of dared try if I hadn't been here. I have a lot to be thankful for here, mainly to all the site "elders" who stick around to teach their wisdom.

Don't worry about the virgin thing Alex, but I would try to losen up a bit, buddy. Don't worry about the party girl thing. I mean you only live once. Why not nail some really sexy chick after one of your shows? I know I"m going to. To each his own, but just figured I'd throw that out there.