A recovering chump

[Al parsons]

Hey Guys!

This is my first post here and I hope to find good brothers to help me in the process of Manning up. Please excuse my AFC mentality and my immature and somewhat feminine way of thinking. I hope to one day become a real man.

Here is my story:

As far as I remember I’ve always been an AFC. I though don’t look like an AFC, apparently! That’s what people, men or women, assume when they see me. Girls approach me and talk to me and some even date me cause they think I’m a very manly man but they will scatter once they talk to me or get to know me properly! That is because I’m quite tall (185 cm) and I am muscular to some extent ( I go to the gym to distract myself from the constant disturbing though that I am an AFC). I also can pretend to be confident and talkative when every cell in my body is filled with adrenaline and other **** hormones and feelings and beg me to shut up and go back to my cave. I’m very introvert. I think a lot.

I have a circle of friends but understandably they are all AFC men!
I recently dated a girl who was very attracted to me and my beard and somewhat to my personality. After 1-2 months she realised how needy and frustrated I was and she lost interest, we though kept seeing each other and kept ****ing. At one point I realised she was only seeing me for the sex and for my **** whom she called mango ( for obvious reasons lol) she then ignored me but kept seeing me for sex. Don’t get me wrong she was hot, I was also enjoying the sex. I though, as an AFC, would prefer to be loved! Have someone pay attention to me my hand and pornhub can take care of the sex part! Cut long story short she left me for some other guy. That broke me. I was really broken cause my AFC mind was like “ you lost a very hot girl, you are an AFC, the next one won’t come anytime soon ”

I’ve tried multiple times to change but a force wants me to stay an AFC cause that is what I’m used to.

Has anyone been in similar situation and will you guys be kind enough to give me an indication on what I should do to begin to recover? I just turned 23 and id rather die now than to live like an AFC for the rest of my life.

Cheers

 

[ohrein]

http://www.djbible.classicalgasemissions.com/

https://therationalmale.com/

Start with some reading. You've expressed the desire to change and so change you will! I think step one is to just start reading this material. Whenever you read something that applies to you, make a note of it and keep it in mind as you move forward. Keep interacting with women and keep trying to objectively analyze all the things you're doing and the results that follow. I disagree with Amante in that you should start your journey by thinking a lot about this stuff. Mastery comes from knowledge.

What is important though, is to not get attached to outcomes for now. Expect that you're going to fail with women a bunch more while you figure this stuff out. That's okay. It may be a cliche but there really are plenty of fish in the sea. The more confident you get, the more you understand how to be and become a valuable man, the more you understand about what women are like, the easier this part of your life becomes. Getting over your neediness is a really difficult task that took me years and years. The most important thing in regards to that goal is to become someone you admire. You won't be needy if you are happy and have self respect. Coincidentally, happiness and self respect are a killer combo in attracting women. It's that magnetic combo of confidence and joy.

Stick around, ask questions, post stories about your interactions with women and you'll have it sorted in no time. For now, read read read.

 

[Spaz]

http://www.djbible.classicalgasemissions.com/

https://therationalmale.com/

Start with some reading. You've expressed the desire to change and so change you will! I think step one is to just start reading this material. Whenever you read something that applies to you, make a note of it and keep it in mind as you move forward. Keep interacting with women and keep trying to objectively analyze all the things you're doing and the results that follow. I disagree with Amante in that you should start your journey by thinking a lot about this stuff. Mastery comes from knowledge.

What is important though, is to not get attached to outcomes for now. Expect that you're going to fail with women a bunch more while you figure this stuff out. That's okay. It may be a cliche but there really are plenty of fish in the sea. The more confident you get, the more you understand how to be and become a valuable man, the more you understand about what women are like, the easier this part of your life becomes. Getting over your neediness is a really difficult task that took me years and years. The most important thing in regards to that goal is to become someone you admire. You won't be needy if you are happy and have self respect. Coincidentally, happiness and self respect are a killer combo in attracting women. It's that magnetic combo of confidence and joy.

Stick around, ask questions, post stories about your interactions with women and you'll have it sorted in no time. For now, read read read.

^^This is good advice.

I might add, try to find someone more mature in age and whom you'd think is a good example of a manly man, befriend him.

 

[MoreThanSmooth]

This is my first post here and I hope to find good brothers to help me in the process of Manning up. Please excuse my AFC mentality and my immature and somewhat feminine way of thinking. I hope to one day become a real man.

Has anyone been in similar situation and will you guys be kind enough to give me an indication on what I should do to begin to recover? I just turned 23 and id rather die now than to live like an AFC for the rest of my life.

Hey, welcome to the forums mate.

First, don't apologise for your mentality or "feminine thinking". You are a real man already, you have two nuts and a d*ck, right? Let no one tell you otherwise. Self-improvement IMO is all about learning to be assertive.

If you're not assertive (through confidence), people pick up on that and grind you down. Apologising all the time is something that's been conditioned into you over years of people doing this and lowering your self-esteem. I've done it too.

Step one for not being "AFC" is re-growing your balls and the self esteem. That means no more "I'd rather die than..."

Instead be positive. You're not dying anytime soon, you're becoming the man you want to be. And you're going to do that by being confident, kind, reasonable, rational and yet confident and not accepting of bulls***.

 

[Magotrox]

Read "The Book of Pook". It will give you a very good start. It is much better them a lot of material out there.

 

[Takenshiro]

Hey Guys!

This is my first post here and I hope to find good brothers to help me in the process of Manning up. Please excuse my AFC mentality and my immature and somewhat feminine way of thinking. I hope to one day become a real man.

Here is my story:

As far as I remember I’ve always been an AFC. I though don’t look like an AFC, apparently! That’s what people, men or women, assume when they see me. Girls approach me and talk to me and some even date me cause they think I’m a very manly man but they will scatter once they talk to me or get to know me properly! That is because I’m quite tall (185 cm) and I am muscular to some extent ( I go to the gym to distract myself from the constant disturbing though that I am an AFC). I also can pretend to be confident and talkative when every cell in my body is filled with adrenaline and other **** hormones and feelings and beg me to shut up and go back to my cave. I’m very introvert. I think a lot.

I have a circle of friends but understandably they are all AFC men!
I recently dated a girl who was very attracted to me and my beard and somewhat to my personality. After 1-2 months she realised how needy and frustrated I was and she lost interest, we though kept seeing each other and kept ****ing. At one point I realised she was only seeing me for the sex and for my **** whom she called mango ( for obvious reasons lol) she then ignored me but kept seeing me for sex. Don’t get me wrong she was hot, I was also enjoying the sex. I though, as an AFC, would prefer to be loved! Have someone pay attention to me my hand and pornhub can take care of the sex part! Cut long story short she left me for some other guy. That broke me. I was really broken cause my AFC mind was like “ you lost a very hot girl, you are an AFC, the next one won’t come anytime soon ”

I’ve tried multiple times to change but a force wants me to stay an AFC cause that is what I’m used to.

Has anyone been in similar situation and will you guys be kind enough to give me an indication on what I should do to begin to recover? I just turned 23 and id rather die now than to live like an AFC for the rest of my life.

Cheers

Welcome you’ve taken a great first step in recovering. As many have said start with reading the material rational male it has been one of the best reads of my life!!! Next start to pay attention to the way you react in your former afc behavior, then start screening women for qualities that you really like, you are the prize and any woman should qualify to deserve your time, just because she’s hot doesn’t mean there’s not other hotter women that will treat you way better than she does, plus you’ve gotten hot chicks in the past so you’ll definitely get more in the future!! You are the **** so start believing it!!!

 

[Al parsons]

Thanks a lot guys! I’ve started reading the ‘Rational Male’ and it has already given me some light in why I feel the way I feel and that gives me hope that I will recover since I now know the cause . I will update you guys on the recovery.
Thanks again for your help