"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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A Realization

PeoplesChamp

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Okay I'm far from being an expert (obviously) but I have come to realize this about the people of this board: Way too many of us here have the wrong "frame." A lot of these so called problems we all have are symptoms of a deeper problem with a dependent self-image or "when things are going good I'm on top, when things are going poorly it's what am I doing wrong." Now I am as guilty of this as anybody...I struggle with it everyday and with every intereaction with women. For any us to ever realize our full potential as DJs this "inner game" issue has to be subjugated, because no matter how good any of us get we're never going to bat 1000. The mindset we should all strive for is "Despite what this women or that woman thinks of me, I deserve and am worthy of getting what I want."

Finally If you listen to what the "experts" from realsocialdynamics or DYD say it's "steal the HB's frame." Why do they encourage that? Just observe any HB you lay eyes on. They have this aura of self worth and superiority that shakes most men to the core. Now this can be broken down for the exact reason it exists. Hot women have never been inoculated from or exposed to criticism and negative apprasial (simply [it they never ever see it). Our job is to aquire geniune, global self worth that is immune to criticism amd negative stimuli while simultaneously attacking their defenseless achilles heel--an inability to react to that which they have no experience with. Negative appraisal. You aren't impressed with the veneer she's been allowed to coast with her whole life and she WILL be impressed you know the secret to effortlessly lowering her "b!tch shield." The result you become the high status guy she bocomes the AFC.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Ricky

Master Don Juan
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This is an awesome post! I agree completely.

Why I continue to base my self esteem on how well I'm doing with women I'll never know. But it has to stop. I know it.

Do you have any great tips for changing our frame of self esteem?
 

medjaun

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I think it just comes down to believing in youself, deep down. Then you don't need anyones approval such as a women and won't base your worth on what they think.
That's easier said than done though.
 

Ricky

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How about the guys who believe in themselves career wise, believe in where they are headed but have lost faith in finding a women worth their while?

I have that limiting belief now after so many failed relationships. Maybe I need some core changes.
 
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